Chapter 50 #2
Amy leaned toward me. “How about this? I’m not going to quit London, I’m not heading back here, and I’m not going to chip in for this memory care place you’ve organized for her.”
“What?” I was relieved she wasn’t giving up on her dream, and I’d never wanted her to chip in. But I searched deep in her face. Her reply was confusing because she would do anything for family.
“Because Mum is not going to live in a castle. Tim, don’t you see? Look around. Look at this flat she’s lived in, we lived in. Three bedrooms—barely, because your bedroom is a cupboard—with a kitchenette, living room, and a back porch. No other rooms to speak of.”
“Well, exactly, and that’s why she deserves more. And I want to give it to her.”
“But she’s been happy here, Dad was happy here, and we were happy here too.
And now you’re going to send her to a place she’s not familiar with?
I know her mind is slipping. But it sounds like, for now, she’s still herself some of the time, and she will be miserable.
I mean, what life experiences will she share with the residents there?
The other people will be rich, have traveled, gone to posh restaurants, wear fancy clothes.
Nope. We’re sending her to Sunny Pastures, which is a ten-minute walk from here.
Dreadful name, but it’s simple, clean, friendly, and she’ll know people there. ”
Anger rose up in me, constricting my throat. Amy hasn’t been involved, and now she’s suddenly making decisions?
“But Sunny Pastures doesn’t have a pool or beautiful grounds.” I shook my head, frustrated. “You know how she loves the water and nature.”
Amy threw up her hands, exasperated. “They can take her to the public pool. They can take her for walks along the riverbank.” She softened. “Tim, I’ve seen the groups walking past here to the river. The staff wear the T-shirts.”
I was silent, still fuming that Amy was trying to take over, and then irritated by the fact that I was trying to find arguments to counter her logic and…couldn’t.
Then her face dropped. “Holy Mother of God. That’s why you took on that reality show, isn’t it? For the money. You didn’t tell me yet, because you figured you’d win and then could pay for that fancy facility on your own.”
I shuffled tensely.
“I almost thought it was because Tabitha was in it, and that was bizarre too, because she wasn’t someone who wanted attention.”
At Tabitha’s name, my head snapped up and my chest tightened.
“What does Tabitha think of this?” she asked.
Sheepishly, I scraped a hand through my hair. “She was not happy when she found out I had still not told you.”
“You asked her to keep it from me?” Her voice rose, horrified.
“I swore her to secrecy and promised her I’d tell you immediately and not to say anything if she saw you. But…I didn’t tell you because, yes—I was waiting for the win. And Tabs knows I messed that up too.”
“You put her in such an awkward position, asking her to lie to me.” She gave me an unrelenting glare.
“Yeah, I did. And I made another big mistake. Now, we’re not…” I couldn’t even say the words. Fuck. The day couldn’t get any worse. “She wants a…break,” I forced out.
“Why? What happened?” Her features softened. “You were the happiest I’d ever seen you.”
Shame soured inside my chest as my brain reeled with images of when I’d last seen Tabs—tears streaming down her cheeks as she slammed the door in my face. I mumbled a reply.
“What was that?”
“I fucked up.”
“Explain what happened. I’ll make a cuppa.” She flicked on the kettle.
As the kettle started heating, I motioned for us both to sit down.
I started at the beginning and reluctantly told her what had happened seven years ago and my pathetic-arse response to ghost her. She reacted as I’d dreaded, with head in hands, groaning.
I told her about the agreement Tabs and I had, then what I’d said on the TV show, and how I’d tried to fix the social media comments without telling Tabs about them.
She raised her fists and made a quiet shriek. “What a bloody…man. You know better than to trust those awful reality show people. You’re going to have to grovel like mad.” She reached over and mimed smacking me in the face. “Tim, for a fairly intelligent being, you’ve been the biggest bloody idiot.”
“I’m aware.” What were the odds of getting Tabitha back? Slim to none. Perry was one thing, but you saying those things that you knew would go live? That’s a far greater and more public betrayal.
I’d humiliated her in front of her friends and the public.
I must have looked crestfallen because Amy added, “You were trying to handle it on your own, without reaching out for help. Misguided, but you are a good guy. And all this came from you having an honorable heart and wanting to protect me, Mum, and even Tabitha, while running a business and making a TV show. But you can’t do it all.
You have to ask for help. You can’t be the boss of everyone. ”
She stood up and rounded the table to hug me.
A clatter sounded from outside, which signaled Macy returning home with Mum.
I was going to start with the groveling now.
Amy was right. I had made a lot of mistakes trying to control everything on my own, trying to be the boss of everyone.
I needed to start putting things to rights and communicating properly with the people I loved and depended on.
First, Mum and Amy and Macy. Then, I was going to put my whole heart and soul into getting Tabitha back, because if there was one thing I knew with absolute certainty, it was that I couldn’t live life without her.