Chapter 11 – Blair
The plan was simple: Flip the table and seduce him before he seduced me—make him want me so badly that he’d lose his composure. It seemed like a good and feasible plan at the time, especially because I’d be killing two birds with one stone.
However, as the days blurred past, I couldn’t bring myself to become the seductress that I thought I was. It turned out that it wasn’t as simple as I thought—easier said than done, I guess.
After all that hype about driving him crazy with my words, actions, and appearance, it was all just noise in the end. There’s one huge problem that I ignored when cooking up this seduction plan.
I was still a virgin.
Yep.
It didn’t make sense that an inexperienced girl like me would pull a stunt like effectively seducing a Mafia boss. Even if I managed to do so, I’d die of embarrassment before he’d be done with the first round.
Besides, this wasn’t how I envisioned getting deflowered—not by a ruthless monster like Nikolai Tarasov. Yet, he proved every day to be one thing I couldn’t stop staring at. I’d taken a pause on my plan to seduce him—because part of me was worried it wouldn’t end well.
But now, I was the one being seduced by him.
It was the tiny details that stirred up something inside me—his shoulder grazing mine when he moved too close, the sight of him shirtless, and that pesky little smirk on his face.
Every time I tried to remind myself that he was a monster and I shouldn’t feel anything for him, my mind would flash back to the night at his club.
The way Nik had moved instinctively to save me from the pelting bullets blurred the line between the beast I thought he was and the protector that shielded me from an attack.
If there wasn’t an ounce of goodness in him—no shred of humanity at all, then why did I hear worry and concern in his tone when he asked if I was hit? Was he faking it? I highly doubt that.
The other night, he found me curled up on the couch at one of the balconies. He must’ve thought that I was asleep, but I was still half awake—aware of my surroundings. He took his jacket off, assumed that I was freezing, and draped the thick fabric over my body.
Reflexively, I adjusted on the couch, finding comfort in the warmth that enveloped me. The scent of his cologne was all on this jacket, teasing my senses.
But he didn’t stop there. No. This man carried me in his arms, took me back to my room, and laid me down on the bed. He took his jacket off me and then pulled the sheets over my body. His fingers brushed against my skin when he pushed back the hair that framed my face.
His touch was gentle, his presence offering a sense of safety. Nik lingered over me for a moment, and even though my eyes were closed, I could feel his gaze. He didn’t try anything stupid—didn’t attempt to take advantage of me in my sleep. Nothing of the sort.
Instead watched over me like a guardian angel. After a few minutes, he quietly walked out of the room and switched the light off. The moment the door closed with a soft click, I opened my eyes, a small smile playing on my lips.
Ever since that night, he’d been roaming my mind, and there was no feasible way to get him out. How could someone so ruthless be so gentle and loving at the same time? Nik always liked to get under my skin, pretending to find solace in my torment. However, it was clear that that wasn’t the case.
At this point, I wasn’t even sure what I believed anymore.
I had no idea what my perception of him was because no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that he was evil, I couldn’t ignore the contradictions.
He was a monster. Yes. But he was also my protector, my shield, and defender—he’d made that pretty clear.
It was unsettling that I could feel so much attraction toward a man like Nik—a man I was on a mission to bring down. I was angry at myself for harboring such emotions for a heartless criminal, but resenting myself wasn’t helping the situation at all.
This ‘criminal’ had snuck his way into my heart, occupied my thoughts, and left me in a state of utter confusion. Each time his skin grazed mine, it sparked a heat within me that I didn’t want but at the same time, didn’t know I needed.
Each glance at this ridiculously attractive man seemed to drag me deeper into something I tried so hard to resist. The more I fought this feeling, the more difficult it became to focus on anything.
Countless times, he’d caught me watching me in unguarded moments.
It was so embarrassing, honestly, especially because of my attitude toward him.
I loathed how much effect he had on me, and I was drawn to him like steel to a magnet.
“There you are,” his deep voice, smooth and enticing, cut through my thoughts.
“Jesus Christ!” I flinched, my hand flying to my chest. I gripped the balcony railing tightly as if anchoring myself to reality.
He let out a low laugh.
I turned around to look at him, a faint—almost playful scowl settling on my face. “It’s not funny! You don’t sneak up on people like that—Jesus!” The words tumbled out in a rush.
Shirtless, he leaned against the door frame, the moon’s ethereal glow silvering his thick skin and broad torso.
“I thought you didn’t scare easily,” he teased, a mocking smirk lining the corners of his lips.
I swallowed hard, trying not to be distracted by the hard panels of his stomach, each ridge catching the soft light.
“I don’t—” I cleared my throat, eyes dropping momentarily to the floor. “You just took me by surprise.”
“That’s the best excuse you can come up with?” He raised a brow, his gaze unwavering.
Ignoring the mockery in his tone, I asked, “What do you want, Nik?”
“Careful now. You might not like my answer.” His eyes roamed my body in a single sweep, a glint of lust flickering in their depths.
My breath hitched, and my pulse spiked in a heartbeat. But chose to play it cool, acting unfazed by his response. “I meant, why are you out there?”
He paused, watching me closely. “You’ve been avoiding me for days now. Why is that?”
My brows knitted together. “Uh…maybe I’m still recovering from the fact that you almost got me killed.”
“Really?” he asked, that deep husky voice sending tremors down my core. “Is that how you choose to see it—that I almost got you killed?”
“How else do you want me to see it?” came my response, swift and stern. “You offered to take me out, and I agreed. And of all the places in the city, you chose a nightclub—one where gunfire was basically part of the playlist.” I paused, letting the words sink in for a moment. “What if I was shot?”
“You weren’t.”
“But what if I was?”
Silence.
I didn’t take my eyes off him, and neither did he.
I heaved a sigh, fingers rubbing my forehead. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I was a lot safer within these walls.”
Again, silence.
Then he broke it. “So, I took you out once, and now somehow, I’m the bad guy.” His voice dropped low, the kind of calm that sounded too close to laughter. “Interesting logic.”
“Don’t do that—don’t try to turn this around.” My scowl deepened.
At this point, anger was the only emotion that I could muster. It was the one thing that could block out the illicit thoughts creeping into my mind.
“You know, instead of making me the villain, you could actually just thank me.”
I scoffed, brows rising in disbelief. “For what? Saving the life you endangered? Yeah, no—I’m not doing that.”
He pushed himself off the door frame and approached me with slow steps. I drew a breath, bracing myself as he closed the distance between us. My eyes flicked to his chiseled abs, then to the faint print of his stick dangling between his legs before returning to his face.
“You’re one stubborn little mule, you know that?” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
I looked up at him, defiance flashing in my eyes. “So I’m told.”
Towering over me, he asked, “Do you know what they say about stubborn people?”
“We don’t break easily,” I answered, arrogance creeping into my tone.
His hand snapped out, fingers caressing the strands that framed my face. “True. But that’s just that first part. The second part says you bleed longer.”
Silence.
My heart was pounding like a drum, and all I could do was hope that he wouldn’t notice how nervous I was. He’d gotten so close to me that I could feel him grazing against my thighs.
The soft touch stirred up something primal within me, and jolts of electricity surged through my blood, leaving me vulnerable.
I was tempted to glance down at the shaft teasing my upper legs, but by doing that, I’d only be exposing my own desires.
“Stubbornness is strength without direction, Dikaya,” he drawled, eyes narrowing slightly. “It burns bright. But it burns out.”
I locked my jaw, my chest heaving with slow breaths. He held my gaze and leaned in to mirror my face, his lips inches from mine. A sudden heat spread across my body as a cold shiver sprinted down my spine. My palms were greasy, and I was already sweating in awkward places.
I felt a tingling sensation between my legs, and my thighs brushed against each other in response. My body stiffened when he ran the back of his hand along my arm. His electric touch weakened my knees, turning my legs into jelly.
My heart sank into my stomach as I held his gaze, struggling not to shrink under his stare. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating, his towering height intimidating. He had me trapped—cornered. Literally.
In that moment, I knew that one wrong move would send me melting into his arms. I was weak and vulnerable, and if he decided to act on that tonight, he’d have me in his bed in no time.
I was wet down there just by looking into those cold eyes of his. His fingers on my arm ignited a flame within me, and it was starting to burn like a wildfire. It was as though every cell in my body had come alive, and all I wanted was to taste his lips.
This—whatever this was?—it was intentional.
Nikolai Tarasov was teasing me on purpose, messing with my emotions just to see how long until I gave in. As much as I wanted to prove him wrong, I knew even if I passed the test tonight, it was only a matter of time before I fell completely.
He wasn’t going to give up; the determination in his eyes was a testament to that. I was at his mercy, ready to bend to his will—and if he kissed me right now, I wouldn’t push him away. Instead, I kissed him back and maybe even lost myself in the passion. That was how turned on I was.
His lips twisted into a mischievous grin, and just like that, he quietly pulled away. “Sleep well, Dikaya,” he whispered, then turned and left.
After he disappeared out of sight, I let out a long sigh of relief, realizing just now that I’d been holding my breath this whole time. With a hand on my chest, I struggled to get a hold of myself, and my grip tightened around the railing.
My knees were too weak to carry my weight, my mind too busy to focus on anything other than Nikolai Tarasov. I despised how my body betrayed me, how it responded to his touch with longing. I knew that entertaining those illicit thoughts in my head was a bad idea, but I couldn’t help it.
I tried to remind myself over and over again that he was the enemy and I was on a mission to bring him to justice. However, the cracks were already spreading in my defiance.
There’s no better way to say it. I’m fucked.