Chapter 28 #4
Elowyn looked up at her with a puzzled expression, as though she couldn't quite understand why Seraphina was asking. "Because I'm autistic."
"Okay?" Seraphina replied, drawing out each syllable. "That doesn't mean you can't get married."
"That's what I told her," William said, quietly enough that he didn't interrupt the conversation.
Elowyn looked between them, then settled her attention on Seraphina again.
"Who in their right mind would want to marry someone like me? I need help with things other people don't need help with. I get overwhelmed when there's too much noise, and I don't always understand what people mean when they don't say it directly.
Sometimes I say things that aren't appropriate because I don't realize they're inappropriate until somebody tells me," her shoulders rose in a small shrug.
"I can't drive and I don't really have a career. I volunteer at Miss Loretta's and the shelter, but those aren't exactly going to pay bills."
Seraphina looked up at William, and the man looked like he was about to cry again. But this time he was clearly feeling genuinely sad.
"I'd probably need somebody to remind me about things, too. I'd need help if we went somewhere unfamiliar. I'd need things to be quiet sometimes, and I'd probably want to leave early if there were too many people."
She set the screw down and picked up another.
"And if they wanted children, I don't think I'd be very good at that. Babies cry all the time and I wouldn't always know what they needed. I'd probably get overwhelmed, and then someone else would have to help me."
Elowyn thought about it for another second before continuing.
"I just don't think anyone would want all of that. They'd have to spend their whole life making accommodations for me. It wouldn't really be fair," her eyes returned to the diagram as she traced one of the illustrated pieces with her fingertip.
"Marriage is supposed to be two people helping each other and trying to make each other's lives better, not give one person another person to take care of," Elowyn emphasized.
"And it's actually scientifically proven. Only about five percent of autistic individuals end up getting married compared to the fifty percent of neurotypical people. It makes sense."
"I'd just be a burden," she finished, casually reaching back to grab another piece of pineapple from Seraphina's lap as if what she had just said was facts.
The room fell into a suffocating silence, neither woman nor William said anything. Elowyn looked from one to the other, her brows slowly drawing together as she tried to figure out why they had both suddenly stopped working.
"Why are you guys looking at me like that?"
Before either of them could answer, the doorbell rang.
"The food is here!" Elowyn's entire face lit up as she scrambled to her feet, moving far too quickly for the clutter surrounding her. Her foot caught against one of the loose panels before she could get her balance, sending her stumbling forward.
Seraphina shot to her feet, catching Elowyn by the arm before she could hit the floor. "Elowyn, be careful!" She hissed in fear.
"I'm okay!" Elowyn blurted, already trying to regain her footing. "The food is here."
"So I've heard," Seraphina replied, keeping a firm hold on her until she was certain the girl was steady.
"Whoa," William whispered as he stared at both women. "That was hot."
Seraphina slowly turned her head toward him. Her patience with the man appeared to have reached its natural limit and whatever he saw in her face had him lifting both hands before she even said a word.
"What? I was complimenting your reflexes."
Elowyn didn't wait around to hear the argument. The doorbell ringing was all the incentive she needed, and she bolted across the living room floor like a shot, completely ignoring the scattered wooden boards and hardware boxes in her wake.
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Before her foot could catch on anything a second time, she threw herself against the entryway wall, coming to a sliding halt before popping up onto her tiptoes to press one eye directly against the brass peephole.
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"It's a man," she whispered her shoulder in suspicion, not bothering to turn around.
Having successfully delivered her report, she stepped back from the door, folding her hands neatly behind her back with the expectation that someone else would now handle the trivial task of turning the knob.
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Seraphina let out a slow, sharp breath, shooting William one final, blistering look before walking past him to the door. She unlocked the deadbolt, pulled it open, and took the heavy plastic takeout bag from the delivery courier with a crisp, "Thank you."
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When she turned back around to head toward the living room, the space was already deserted.
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A muffled clatter of silverware and plates drifted from the kitchen. When Seraphina finally made her way to the kitchen, Elowyn was already standing at the kitchen counter, clearly trying to get something while William leaned against the refrigerator nearby, watching her work with a fond smile.
"Off," Elowyn heard a velvety voice say just as she felt Seraphina's strong hands grip her waist from behind and lift her off the counter.
Seraphina had no intention of letting Elowyn climb onto the counter in the first place.
The girl was clumsy enough on solid ground; putting her on top of a kitchen counter surrounded by plates and utensils was an unnecessary invitation for disaster.
The woman could already picture the inevitable slip, the startled yelp, the scramble to catch whatever happened to be within reach.
That was the practical reason.
The less practical one was far more difficult to dismiss.
She liked holding Elowyn.
There was something dangerously comforting about the way the girl fit against her.
The warmth beneath her palms, the soft weight of her body against hers, the simple certainty that Elowyn was right there in her arms- it appealed to a part of Seraphina she already knew very well about herself, something she had never had any difficulty acknowledging in a private setting.
She simply had no intention of revealing that side of herself to just anyone.
So perhaps removing her from the counter had been necessary. Or maybe Seraphina had simply been looking for an excuse.
"How do you think I get around in my day to day life Seraphina?" Elowyn huffed, trying to pry her way out of the woman's firm hold. "I do this all the time, even when you're not here!"
"Well I am here, so there is no need for that. Now, what were you trying to get, sweetheart?" Seraphina released the girl, turning to look through the cabinet.
"I need three cups," Elowyn said begrudgingly, smoothing out her sweater.
Seraphina reached up and pulled down three glasses, attempting to set them down.
Elowyn had other plans. She took them straight out of the older woman's hands, gathering them against her chest and gave Seraphina a small, disgruntled look that made her feelings about being rescued from the counter perfectly clear.
The sight drew a smirk from Seraphina as she followed behind, carrying nothing but her own amusement with her.
Elowyn marched over to fill each glass with water one by one before carrying the small cluster carefully back toward the kitchen table, where William was already sliding into a chair.
Dropping into the seat beside him, she nudged one of the glasses in his direction before settling back into her own chair.
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When Seraphina got to the table, she set the heavy takeout containers down. Lids popped off to release an incredible aroma, revealing expensive, immaculately plated food that definitely didn't come from your average neighborhood joint.
Glancing down at the lunch, William whistled softly. "Should I put on a suit for this takeout, or are sweatpants still acceptable in the presence of culinary royalty?"
Seraphina rolled her eyes so hard it felt physical. "If you make one more joke, I'm going to tie you the coat rack and let you starve."
"Why do you get so easily annoyed with me? William pouted teasingly.
"Because you're annoying," Seraphina answered flatly, her expression noticeably softening as she slid the second container across the table to Elowyn.
Instantly, a wide, bright smile stretched across Elowyn's features that lit up with undisguised joy. The box pulled closer, inhaling the scent with absolute happiness. "Thank you," she beamed, already grabbing a fancy looking chicken nugget.
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"You're very welcome, sweetheart," came the murmured reply as the final seat was claimed and pulled her own food close.
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Elowyn reached for her side of macaroni and cheese, her fingers hooking under the edge of the tight plastic lid to pry it open.
The lid didn't budge. She gripped it harder, her brows furrowing as she pulled, but the heavy-duty seal held fast, the container warping slightly under her grip without giving an inch.
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Across the table, William was already happily devouring his food, completely oblivious.
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Elowyn huffed, shifting her grip and giving it another hard yank, her knuckles turning white with the effort as frustration quickly took over.
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Seraphina sat quietly across from her, resting her chin on her hand as she watched the silent battle unfold. After a few more seconds of the container nearly flying across the table, Seraphina broke the quiet.
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"Do you need help with that, darling?"
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Without looking up, Elowyn gave a sharp shake of her head. "No. I've got it."
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She planted her palm firmly against the side of the container and tried to peel the corner back again, only to grunt softly as the plastic stubbornly refused to yield.
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Seraphina watched her struggle for another moment, a soft, curious expression replacing the usual smile that seemed to be permanently on her face whenever she was with the girl.