Chapter 30
Natalia
“Hello, sweetheart.”
I cross my arms and imagine punching him in the throat. “Don’t do that!”
“Do what, babe?”
My arms drop and I point my finger in his face. “That.”
Rowan smirks with his full, pink lips—lips that might still have the taste of the woman I set him up with. God, I hate myself.
“What’s wrong, Natalia?” He sighs and leans against the threshold, folding his arms over his chest. “Something bothering you?”
“No!” I snap. “Everything is fucking perfect.”
He arches a dark blond brow. “Is it?”
I squint as I snarl, “Fuck you.”
“Come inside and you can.” He winks, and damn him! I’m a sucker for that wink and sparkle in his blue eyes.
“Stop that!” I stomp like I’m a five year old throwing a tantrum after having to share something she doesn’t want to. Rowan Asher is mine.
Damn him. And damn me!
He isn’t mine. But he is. Always has been.
“Natalia?” The torrential tide in his ocean eyes calms into smaller waves. He patiently waits for me to speak, his expression calm and neutral—annoyingly unbothered. I need him as bothered as I am. I need him furious with me. “Sweetheart—”
“No!” I snap again. “I saw you!”
Rowan pushes away from the threshold, standing and towering over me with his hands in the pockets of his navy pants. “Natalia.”
“What!” My hands fly around me dramatically while he remains standing there—unaffected. “I saw you with her.”
“You sent me on a date.”
“Okay, but I’m an idiot. You’re supposed to be the smart one!”
“You’re jealous,” he say with a smirk, his blue eyes darkening to midnight.
“I. Am not. Jealous!” I seethe.
“You’re jealous,” Rowan says again, calmly.
“I’m not jealous!”
He stands straighter, stepping closer and invading my space—overriding all my senses. “Tell me why you’re jealous, sweetheart.”
“Because…” I breathe heavily, wishing I could tear my eyes away from his but that’s impossible. It will always be impossible to not look at him. “Because you’re mine.”
We’re panting and glaring, our nostrils flaring, and my body is too overheated. My brain is malfunctioning, and I want him so badly. But I want him just for me. Mine.
Rowan Asher is mine.
I knew this would happen. Falling for Rowan Asher was inevitable. Whether I’m ready for it or not, the universe doesn’t care. It was always going to push me into the deep end and force me to drown.
“Because you’re mine,” I echo, quietly. “I have no right to be jealous when I did this—I set you up. But you’re mine, Rowan.” I pause to catch my breath. “You’re mine, and I’m sorry. I— You’re mine, okay? I’m sorry I haven’t gotten better, I’m sorry I haven’t been nicer, but you’re mine.”
Rowan’s growl comes a split second before he lunges, his lips crashing onto mine violently. Bruising. He picks me up, giving me no time to think or room to breathe.
“Say you’re mine,” I pant.
“I didn’t touch her,” he husks. “I didn’t kiss her. I said goodnight and that I had a good time. She asked if I’d call and I told her the truth.”
“You’re going to call—”
“I told her there was someone else I couldn’t get out of my head.”
“Me?”
His brows pinch, the blue of his eyes searching mine. “Would it bother you if I did kiss her? If I kissed her the way I kiss you?” My hands curl into tight fists, my long nails close to breaking skin. “If I took her home and fucked her? If I touched her the way I touch you?”
I swallow. Looking up at him, my anger fades when I see his face free of malice. The ocean in his eyes is free of storms. It’s safe.
“I can’t answer that.”
“Why not?”
“Because,” I say, “you already know.”
“I think I want to hear you say it anyway,” he rasps.
“I won’t.”
That seems to be enough because his mouth is on mine, punctuating my sentence for me. His hands are everywhere, his fingers tracing each curve, every bone of my rib cage, every knob jutting out my spine. “Upstairs,” I pant. “Bed.”
“Nat—”
“Please.”
He lifts me and my legs wind around him, his hands tight on my ass as he begins the journey upstairs. Anticipation surges with the lust I already feel, heightening every emotion I hold within me that belongs to him.
I lose myself in his lips, the rest of the world fading around us because it’s just me and him. Here and now. We gasp for air between our kisses, tongues touching and twisting, my back arching and hips undulating.
I yelp with a giggle when I’m suddenly thrown back onto his bed, my body bouncing. “Rowan.” I laugh.
He smiles from the edge of the bed and the moonlight pouring in through the windows of his bedroom highlights all of his beautiful features.“You’re so beautiful.”
“So are you.” My body flushes. “Come here, Rowan.”
He lowers himself into the cradle of my legs, holding himself up with his arms on either side of my head. His lips drift from mine down my neck but I pull him back up to me. I could get drunk off the taste of him.
“You’re wearing too much clothing,” I sigh against his lips. He chuckles against my neck, my hands trying their hardest to push his sweater off his body. “Off. Please.”
“In a bit.” He tugs at the neckline of my shirt and trails his lips everywhere they can reach. My hips buck. “You first.”
I whimper as he undoes my jeans, his fingers moving quickly and precisely. He tugs the denim down my legs haphazardly, impatiently, and kisses my bare skin with his warm lips.
“Rowan.” My hips lift and gyrate.
“Patience, sweetheart.”
“I have none for you.” I whimper as he kisses a path up my body, his lips just barely brushing over my pussy—a tantalizing means of contact. I hiss. “Rowan.”
He continues his path up and under my shirt, pushing it up until he pulls it over my head. I’m bare and naked before him—mind, body, and soul—and he’s seeing right through me. He’s the only one who’s ever been able to.
Rowan brushes his lips over mine and I hold onto him with my limbs wrapped around him.
“You weren’t supposed to ruin me for everyone else,” I breathe onto his lips.
Rowan kisses me slowly, deeply. His lips mold against mine—searching. Feeling. Taking.
“I think I want you ruined for everyone else,” he says huskily, on my lips. “So that you’re mine. Only mine.”
I’m on the cusp of telling him, I am yours. But I’m also on the cusp of drowning in this ocean I swore I wouldn’t let myself fall into.
“I am yours,” I whisper.
His lips move across my chest, his tongue darting out to lick and flick at my nipples every so often as his fingers dance along the sides of my body, exploring my curves.
I arch, offering myself to him. He can have me—every damned piece of me he wants.
“You are,” he breathes, “mine.”
“Yesss,” I moan, his lips kissing down my body. “Rowan. I want you naked.”
“I want you,” he says, and I partly expect him to finish the sentence. But that’s the entire sentence and my heart soars as if he just told me he loves me.
“Now.”
With four hands, we discard his clothes in seconds, and our bodies melt together, turning us into one. My hands run up and down his warm, sculpted back, before my nails are digging into his ass, pulling him down to me.
His cock rocks between my slick sex and his moan matches my own.
“Rowan—”
“Hang on, sweetheart,” he rasps, smiling against my lips and pushing himself up. “Don’t you dare touch yourself.”
“What—”
The now cold air whispers against my skin, making my body shiver, my nipples tightening further now that his warm body isn’t hovering over mine. I roll my lips together with a whimper, squirming as I watch him. Naked, he walks toward his dresser and opens the top drawer.
“Rowan,” I mewl, my body aching.
I move my hands to cup my breasts but I’ve barely got my nipples between my fingers before Rowan snaps, “Don’t.”
Rowan, in all his naked glory, with his cock hard, perfectly long and thick, holds out silver handcuffs.
I swallow, sitting up to reach for him. “Were you going to use those with her?”
“No, sweetheart. These were always just for you”
“Hmm.” I pull him down onto the bed and crawl over him, straddling his hips. I roll my hips over his, his cock gliding through my wet center, and I moan, “You first.”
Rowan wets his bottom lip before he bites into it, his hands holding my backside.
I shake my head. “Uh-uh. Arms up, sweetheart.”
Smirking, he submits. I secure a cuff around one wrist and pull the chain through one of the rods of the head board before I secure his other wrist.
I kiss down his body with no direction, brushing my lips over his nipples until he’s hissing and tugging at the handcuffs. I scrape my nails down his chest, through the light, golden dusting of hair, as I kiss down his chest.
My lips kiss at his hipbones as my hand wraps around his hard cock, a pearl of pre-cum glistening at his tip. Holding his gaze, I lick the bead off his tip and swirl my tongue.
“Natalia,” he grits. “You’re going to kill me.”
I smirk. “I’ve been planning your death for a long time, Rowan.”
He laughs, but quickly hisses when I take him deep in my mouth, moving my hand around him. “Shit.”
The thing about pleasuring Rowan is that it gets me off too. The sounds he makes and the desperate writhing just make me want to keep going. They cause a surge of adrenaline through me and embolden me. He emboldens me.
So, emboldened, I do something I’ve never done before. Something I might only ever do with him because it’s him—because I trust him immensely.
I press my breasts together and take his cock between them.
Don’t think, just do.
“Jesus, fuck,” he growls, his jaw clenched and tendons in his neck protruding as his neck stretches back.
Being an amateur at this, I try to avoid his eyes, but with that shade of blue staring at me it’s impossible. Especially with the way he says, “Natalia.”
He turns my name into something special, every time.