Chapter 8
Luna
The silence she leaves behind is louder than words.
“Isaac …” my mother says, her voice low, upset. “What are you doing?”
I don’t answer her for a moment.
Because I need to explain things I should have a long time ago. I just … haven’t wanted to. I haven’t wanted to tear away the version of Chloe she holds so close to her heart—the girl she calls the daughter she never had.
After the divorce, she called Chloe and told her that she would always be her daughter, even if she wasn’t her daughter-in-law anymore.
And I let it happen. At the time, my ex was moving to Franc and I was just relieved she was leaving. Relieved I didn’t have to deal with any of it. I thought at least Mom could keep her illusions about Chloe.
I should have come clean then.
I look at Lily. She meets my gaze immediately.
“Come, Mum. You, too, Lily,” I say, pushing myself to my feet. “Let’s go in there. There is something I need to tell you.”
I nod towards the quieter side room near the unit.
Mum stands up immediately, confusion etched across her face.
I take Amelie from Lily. She settles against me easily, warm and soft and impossibly small. For a moment, I just … look at her. Her eyes are open, more focused than before.
Bright and watching me. She looks more and more like Luna every day.
The shape of her mouth. That stubborn chin. My chest feels full. I exhale slowly, rocking her gently, trying to steady myself before I speak.
Mum is watching me like she doesn’t know me. I have never spoken to her like this before. So, I look at Lily.
“Chloe and I …” I start, my voice rough, before clearing my throat and trying again. “We were friends. Best friends. Always together. She lived next door since she was eight.”
Lily nods.
“But we were never together. I know what she let you believe when we got married. It’s not true,” I say, turning to Mum.
She frowns slightly. “What do you mean?”
“It was a story,” I say simply. “And I let her tell it.”
I shift Amelie slightly in my arms.
“I got flat-out drunk one night in Uni,” I say. “Woke up the next morning with her naked in my bed. I didn’t remember a thing. She told me she was a virgin.” My jaw clenches at the memory. “I found out later that was a lie.”
Mum’s face has gone still.
“She said she loved me,” I continue. “And I-I felt guilty. She was my friend. I didn’t want to hurt her.
” I let out a breath. “But there was never anything there. No … chemistry. I guess I was more worried you would find out.” I swallow.
“We got married. I knew how much you liked her. How much you … wanted that. I didn’t want to disappoint you. ” My voice trails off.
No one speaks. Amelie shifts slightly in my arms, letting out a small sound. I keep rocking her.
“I felt trapped,” I say with a self-deprecating smile. “But I’d made the decision. I didn’t want to admit I’d been an idiot.”
I look at my mother.
“But I was never interested in her. So, she … picked up some random guy. Brought him home.”
My voice hardens as I remember that day.
“I found them in our bed.”
Mum inhales sharply.
“She thought it would make me jealous,” I say. “Like I’d fight for her or something.” I shrug slightly. “I was just … done. In a way, I was relieved it was finally over.”
My mother is crying quietly now, tears slipping down her face.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispers.
I hold her gaze.
“Because you kept saying she was your daughter,” I say. The words come out sharper than I intend, years of holding back pouring into it. “Sometimes, it felt like she mattered more to you than I did.”
She flinches.
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” I add, trying to soften the blow. “I didn’t want to take that away from you.” I pause. “But you should have known better than to bring her that day when Amelie was born.”
My grip tightens slightly around Amelie.
“She had no business being there when Luna had just given birth. You knew it, and so did I. I was the wuss who didn’t tell her to fuck off.
But what about you? This was the birth of your first grandchild.
It is never going to happen again. And still, you brought her.
” My voice feels not my own. I have never spoken to her like this. “You have no boundaries, Mum.”
Who am I kidding? I should have put my foot down.
She looks stricken.
“Who tells an ex that it’s okay to contact me whenever she has a problem?” I ask. “Who does that?”
She doesn’t answer because there isn’t one.
I exhale slowly as some of the anger drains out of me.
“This is on me too,” I say. “I should have stopped it a long time ago.”
I adjust Amelie gently, pressing my lips briefly to her head.
Then I look back at my mother.
“But now,” I say quietly, firmly, “can you please stop?”
***
My phone buzzes. A message from an unknown number pops up.
I almost ignored it.
But as soon as I open it, I know it is Chloe.
You said you dream of me …
My eyes close. She saw the message before I deleted it.
When I open my eyes, I know I cannot let her do this to me.
I type for the last time.
I did. I shouldn’t have.
Lose my number.
I block her before she can reply.
***
Someone let work know. Or maybe I did.
I don’t know.
I don’t care.
None of it matters except—
Please.
I sit here, elbows on my knees, hands clasped so tightly they hurt. It has been three days … Luna is breathing on her own. But she still has not opened her eyes.
I am praying again.
Let her be alright.
Please.
Just let her be alright.