38. Find Me #2
But he hadn’t. He had seen and remembered them all—moments that had shaped his opinion of me long before we ever actually met.
Jase saw me mowing Mr. Kepler’s lawn after he had a stroke because I knew how obsessed he was about keeping his yard clean and that he lived alone.
Jase saw me mouthing the words to Gladiator and The Princess Bride when the cinema hosted its yearly re-showings of classic films. Jase saw me when I always wrote down the answers in Social Studies but refused to ever raise my hand.
Jase saw me when I would eat my weight in bacon at the diner with my brother.
He saw me.
Everything is within a short distance of one another, allowing me to make the first ten stops in no time, but the next sends me on a bit of a trip. And I’m more than a little confused.
Because it leads me to the zoo.
Between the crowds and the sheer size of this place, I can safely assume I won’t be looking for an envelope anywhere. And I’m proven right after wandering through several exhibits to finally have a messenger approach me with a gift box when I come to the penguin enclosure.
It’s not small either, so I have to go to the nearest bench to unwrap it, finding a certain kind of stuffed animal inside. I laugh, out of both surprise and delight, when I see the labeling on the plushy’s tag.
It’s Hubert, an exact model of my original, only without the wear and tear.
And he has an envelope tucked beside him in the box.
“Did you know that this particular species of penguin can live up to twenty years in captivity? Hubert may be getting up there, but he’s still kicking it with the best of them.”
I look over at the exhibit, and sure enough, one of the guides introduces the penguins to a group of children standing in front of the enclosure, the star of the show being none other than Hubert, who excitedly waddles over to his mate, Cookie.
“I may not have been there the first time you saw him, but God knows I wanted to be. I wanted to see you with your mom, to see you in the presence of someone who loved you and always made sure you knew it. I also couldn’t remember the last time someone dared to be vulnerable with me, and when you told me about her that day, you did so without expectation.
You were open and honest, and you trusted me.
And it was the moment I realized I had started falling for my friend.
Part of me stayed in that place these past four years, praying I could right my wrongs, praying you might give me a second chance, and every part of me is here now.
So, if you’d be willing to let this hopeless fool try to make it up to you…
Come find me.”
I may not have traversed this terrain in four years, but I don’t miss a beat, stepping and pivoting when and where I need to until I reach the mouth of the cave. A few feet out, there’s a colorful trail of pebbles leading inside that I quickly realize are actually Skittles.
Another set of storms is set to roll in later, but for now, it’s a cloudless sky, ensuring it’s bright enough that a majority of the cave is visible even through the blanket of water pouring over its one exposed wall.
I expect to see Jase waiting inside, but there’s no one.
All there is is the trail of Skittles continuing towards the far corner…
…where I used to keep my supplies stashed away.
Everything from my blankets to my candy collection remains untouched, but the folded piece of paper and small black velvet box are definitely new additions.
When I unfold the sheet, the air stalls in my chest.
Because it isn’t new at all.
I’d recognize that pale pink paper anywhere.
It’s from the notebook my therapist had given me to journal in, a notebook I had thrown away over two years ago.
Jase’s handwriting fills the paper, confirming what he had only recently been able to tell me.
It’s his apology.
But not only that.
The bottom part of the letter has my eyes dragging over to that velvet box.
“I haven’t earned your forgiveness, and I have no right to meddle in your business, but I hope you don’t hate me for this in particular. You deserve it more than anyone.”
I crack open the lid, and my vision immediately begins to blur as I try and fail to blink back tears.
Because it’s a Celtic love knot.
And not just any. Attached to a thin silver necklace is my mom’s pendant, and it’s not a replica. My fingertips glide over the grooves I haven’t felt in years, the engravings my grandmother had put on the back not having faded a day since I last saw it.
With the rushing water echoing over the space, I don’t hear him until his arms wrap around my waist from behind.
“How?” It’s all I manage to say over the lump in my throat, but Jase doesn’t need more than that.
“I thought about what you said, how your dad didn’t want to see anything that reminded him of your mom.
But seeing his office, it was clear he was harboring everything he could that belonged to her.
” I don’t have to look at Jase to know he’s smiling.
“So, when your parents were throwing their Labor Day bash at your house sophomore year, someone may or may not have crashed the party and snuck back into the office, and that same someone may or may not have lock-picked the bottom drawer on your dad’s desk to find it. ”
“ Someone ?”
“I plead the fifth.” He kisses the side of my cheek, removing the necklace from the box to clasp around my neck.
The pendant falls between my breasts, the cool metal both familiar and foreign. I never thought I’d see or feel it again. I turn to face him, holding up the letter. “How did you get this paper?”
Jase winces. “I wrote the letter in your room that night, and I intended to leave both it and the necklace there, but you must have been outside at the party, and I didn’t know who might see it before you would.
The last thing I wanted was to find out that Blythe or someone else had run off with it. ”
“So you put it somewhere you knew only I would find it.”
“Granted, I didn’t think it would take you several years and a scavenger hunt to get you back here,” he chuckles, brushing his lips over mine, “but, yeah, that’s the gist.”
I melt into his touch, into the feel of his kiss, into the breath heating me in the most perfect way possible.
“What do you think?” he asks, taking the sheet of pink paper from me. “Will you let me try to make it up to you?”
I want to tell him there’s nothing to make up for, but the grin spreading over his lips is too tempting. “What did you have in mind?”
I’m right.
The second I give him the green light, that grin of his transforms into something so perfectly mischievous. “I say we start by fucking up everyone’s shit.”