Chapter 25
twenty-five
. . .
Ceci
I stare at him.
He stares back.
I open my mouth.
Close it.
Finally, I ask: “What do you mean?”
Aidan holds my gaze, no hesitation in his blue eyes. “I want more than one night with you. I don’t want to be fuck buddies. I don’t want to be casual.”
My mouth goes dry. “So…”
“I’d like to date you,” he continues. “A serious, committed, monogamous relationship. We’ve already done all the getting to know you part. I already know I like you. Now we just need to figure out if we’re compatible. And if we are…”
“If we are,” I repeat.
He squeezes my hands. “Then we could have something really special.”
The light jazz music pumping through the bistro echoes dully in my ears. Every sense is heightened as I stare at my best friend, who’s asking me for something I never thought would actually happen. And now that he is…
“Aidan—”
But he shakes his head. “No. This is just us. Wish and Annie. Not… the rest of it.”
A serious, committed relationship.
“You don’t date.”
“I’ve never met someone I wanted to date. Not until you.”
“That’s a lot of pressure,” I admit. “What if we fuck up our friendship?”
“We won’t,” he swears. “I’m sure we’ll have our challenges. Every couple does. If we’re not compatible, the rest of it won’t matter. But if we are, if we can navigate both parts of it, I think what we can have would be really awesome.”
Can I do this? It’s all I’ve wanted, but now that it’s being dangled in front of me, I don’t know that I can go through with it.
Chewing my cheek, I admit, “I’ve been single for a long time. I like being single. Doing my own thing. I don’t want to have to answer to anyone.”
He laughs. “Do you really think I’d get in your way? I’m not trying to cage you. I want you to fly free.”
I consider it. I really do. When I thought all he wanted was sex, I was all for it. But now that there are feelings involved?
“I travel nearly every week for three-quarters of the year,” he adds. “There will be plenty of times when we’re apart. Some couples let it drive them further apart. I think it will bring us together. We can still do everything we’re already doing, just with an extra bonus.”
“Sex.”
“Intimacy,” he corrects. “When you came over a few days ago, and we hung out all day, and it was so easy? Breakfast dates watching the sun rise. Gaming in the same place. Lunches and dinners here, nights out…”
“That sounds really nice,” I admit. “What about long-term goals? Do you want kids?”
“Not unless you do.”
I make a face. “It’s not solely my decision.” I’d hate for him to resent me for taking that away from him.
“You once said you thought you missed your chance. So if you really wanted them, I’d make room in my life for it,” Aidan says.
“But you’ve never made it seem like you wanted to have kids.
I’m ambivalent. I don’t need it to fulfill me.
I never really saw myself as being a dad. Not after… everything.”
“Your ex.”
“She did a number on me.” He’s so matter of fact about it. “I’m not healed. But I want to be. Trust is a big thing for me. If neither of us wants kids, we won’t have kids. It’s that simple. The rest… well, I have to put in the work. We both will. Cheating is a hard limit for me.”
“For me too. I need to be able to trust you.”
“Do you?”
Rather than answering glibly, I stop to consider it. I don’t think he’d purposefully hurt me. He’s never struck me as the type of guy to step out on his partner. But he’s constantly traveling. Who’s to say he isn’t hitting up a bar and taking women home in every city?
On the other hand… most of the time, we’re online together. We’re spending all our free time together.
“I do, yes.”
Aidan grips my hand tightly. “Then I won’t do anything to betray your trust.”
“That easy?”
“That easy.”
“I don’t know that I want to get married again.”
“So we won’t,” he replies. “I don’t care about the legalities of it.
I’m not after your money, but if that’s what you’re worried about, I’d sign a prenup in a heartbeat.
I have more than enough to fund my lifestyle for the rest of my life, especially now that I’m not supporting Hailey’s medical expenses all by myself. ”
“About that…”
He arches an eyebrow. “Yes?”
“Your sister is going to expect a postmortem on tonight.”
“Well, how do you think this is going?”
“I’m… not opposed to the idea.”
He grins. “Then whatever you want to tell her, I’ll corroborate.”
Jamie, our waiter, takes this moment to appear at our table. “Sorry for the delay, Miss Ramos. Do you want your usual?”
Aidan looks at me guilelessly.
“Actually, I think I’m in the mood for something new.”
And when our food comes out about twenty minutes later, the seared scallops are just as good as I thought they’d be. The bites he shares of his salmon are delicious too.
Conversation flows, exactly like it has every other time we’ve seen each other in person. It reinforces the idea that maybe, possibly, we can do this. We can turn our online friendship into something more.
We linger over dessert, and when he reaches for my hand, I give it with no hesitation. This is uncharted territory for us both. I have every confidence we can navigate this—together.
Jamie clears our plates, but Aidan doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave. I’m not either. I don’t want this night to end.
But does it have to end here?
“Hey, Wish?”
His blue eyes crinkle at his nickname. “Yeah, Annie?”
“Take me home.”
He stares at me for a bit.
“It’s like you said. If we’re not compatible, we should find out sooner rather than later. I don’t want to wait. I don’t need you to hold off on calling me for three days, and I don’t need to wait for an arbitrary number of dates.”
If he doesn’t like a forward woman, it’s best to find out now. Before I get invested. Before it hurts.
I am Cecilia fucking Ramos. I go after what I want. I get what I want.
And what I want is him.
“Take me home.”