Chapter 34
thirty-four
. . .
Aidan
The door to my apartment flies open at eleven fifty-five in the morning.
“Good morning,” Hailey yells from the entryway. “Rise and shine! Up and at ’em.”
“Oh, fuck off,” I snap from the kitchen table. My daily bowl of oatmeal sits in front of me, but I’m not eating it, too preoccupied with the woman sitting on my lap.
My sister moseys into the kitchen with a hand over her eyes—without her cane, which means today is a good day. Ryan trails behind her, a bemused smile on his face.
Ceci tries to slip off me, but my hand on her hip keeps her in place.
“We’re decent,” she says dryly. She’s wearing one of my T-shirts and a pair of shorts, her bare legs on display.
Hailey lets out a shriek as she drops her hand. “You’re here!”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” I ask. “You set us up.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think it would work.” My sister laughs as she sits in her usual spot at the other end of the table. “Hoped for it.”
This time, when Ceci tries to stand, I let her go. She slides into the seat beside mine, her hand moving to my thigh as if she can’t bear to part from me.
Ryan heads to the fridge, pulling out a carton of eggs. “You want your usual, Hay?”
“Thanks, baby,” my sister says. “Ceci, do you want eggs?”
“I’m good with oatmeal. Thank you.”
“So the date went well? I heard about the locker room.” Hailey smirks. “I thought it would be a one-night-only type thing, not that you’d fall into a relationship after one date.”
“We’ve been friends for years,” Ceci says. “We just didn’t know it until recently. I’d been trying to seduce him for weeks before you suggested the date.”
I turn to her in surprise. “You were?”
She giggles. “Ever since that day you showed up with flowers and told me who you were. But you never seemed to pick up on it, so I had to resort to desperate measures.”
Huh. I didn’t realize.
“At least it all worked out,” Ryan says. He bustles around the kitchen, making my sister breakfast.
When they first got together, I was worried about losing Hailey, but things haven’t changed too much. Ryan was always around before, part of our easy dynamic. Now it’s different, but still the three of us against the world.
Now it’ll be the four of us. I like that idea.
They make a point to come up for breakfast almost every morning we’re home, and she still comes to our games. He and I still carpool most days. The only real difference is she’s sleeping downstairs at his place. Plus the public displays of affection.
I kind of get it now, though. Whenever Ceci’s around, I want to touch her. Not in a sexual way. Just a simple she’s mine, and I’m hers, and we belong together type way.
Maybe it’s too soon. We’ve only been dating officially for a few weeks. But when I think about the last seven years… This was inevitable. As soon as we connected in real life, it all escalated so quickly, and even though my head is spinning, it feels right.
Ryan sets a plate in front of Hailey, kissing the top of her head, before he returns a moment later with a plate for himself.
I look around the table, and my entire body vibrates with a buzz of contentment.
Ceci.
My sister.
My best friend.
My family.
How is this my life? How did I get so lucky?
Hailey and Ceci talk about the foundation and their meeting this morning. Hailey’s bitched about Heidi a few times, and Ceci is dreading the inevitable confrontation coming today.
Last week, she emailed Heidi about our relationship, and I sent an official notice to the GM after the conversation in Coach’s office. I don’t think they’ll have an issue with us being together, but there may be repercussions from the shower incident. I’ll take it as it comes. Ceci is worth it.
After breakfast, Hailey and Ryan go back downstairs, Ceci and I shower and get dressed, and I drive her to the rink. We’ve got activation and mobility workouts today since there’s a game tonight, and I’m itching to get this over with so I can see her again.
Okay. Maybe I’m getting a little obsessive. Let’s slow down here. I don’t want to scare her off.
Ceci has a full day of meetings, so I won’t even see her again until after our game. I bury myself in the usual game-day prep: light workout, physical therapy, a solid pregame nap, get off, and then head to the arena for pregame meal, stretching, and warm-ups.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” Ryan asks as we head onto the ice for pregame skate.
“The usual.”
“Hailey has a doctor’s appointment. Want to—”
I skid to a stop. “For what?”
“Just a med check,” he assures me. “She’s fine. Everything’s fine.”
My sigh of relief rattles through my chest. “You’re not going with her?”
“I have my session with Dr. Liz.” He shrugs. “It’s good for her to do things on her own. If she can’t advocate for herself, I will, but I have to give her room to breathe. If I try to do everything for her, it takes away her agency.”
I frown. “But—”
“She’s a grown-ass adult. When she needs me to help her, I will. But I won’t infantilize her.”
“Is that what I was doing?” Unease fills my chest, making me vaguely nauseous.
All I wanted was to take care of her. To make sure she was happy and healthy, or as healthy as she could be. I don’t want anything to happen to her. It’s not like I wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap and hide her away from the world. Her happiness has always been my priority.
Ryan skates to a stop and faces me. “She appreciates everything you did for her. Still does,” he says. “She’s not going anywhere. We aren’t going anywhere. Let her come to you when she needs help. She knows you support her unconditionally. That you will be there when she needs you.”
“I do. I will.”
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I start to skate again, and he strides after me as we loop lap after lap around the ice.
He’s seen her through flares over the years, but he wasn’t there when things were bad. Before the diagnosis. Before the meds that gave her back her life. I never want her to go through that again. But he doesn’t understand. Not really.
“She’s in a different place now, and you have to let her be there. I’m here for her, and we’re building a life together.” Ryan glances at me, then back to the ice. “And hey, now you have Ceci to focus some of your attention on.”
“I do. She’s great,” I say after a too-long pause.
Ryan makes a noise of acknowledgment.
I feel tethered in a way I didn’t before. I never realized how off-balance I felt until I had someone anchoring me. Centering me.
Hopefully, I can return the favor for her—if she wants it. I won’t smother her like I did Hailey. I hear him loud and clear, and now I’m learning that lesson the hard way. It’s not that she doesn’t want me around; she needs space, and I haven’t given it to her.
“I’m happy you’re happy,” Ryan says as we circle around the goal net. “I’m glad you found someone who treats you the way you deserve.”
“She was worth waiting for.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
He waited for Hailey for over ten years. He knew she was the one.
I don’t know if Ceci is the one for me. That’s way too much pressure to put on such a fledgling relationship.
What I do know is the way she makes me feel is unlike I’ve felt with anyone else.
That I feel safe with her. That I’m able to be vulnerable, and she won’t use it against me or make fun of me.
I trust her completely, 100 percent. And that’s as terrifying as it is reassuring.
The buzzer sounds to end warm-ups, and we troop back to the dressing room for our final pregame prep. The coaching staff gives us a motivational speech, I sprout off some bullshit about the team being able to handle anything, and we get in the zone.
I love that first moment of clarity, when everything fades away and the only thing on my mind is the task ahead. As much as it’s become work, as tiring as the schedule is and how grueling being captain can be, at the end of the day, I still love playing hockey. It’s my safe place. My happy place.
Sure, sometimes I wish I could be a baseball player. Or play video games all day.
But faced with the option of giving up hockey? No way. It’s not even a question. Hockey is my one great love. Baseball is my dirty mistress.
From the first face-off, it’s a dirty, sweaty, high-intensity game. Carolina gives as good as it gets, and we’re fairly evenly matched, so it’s as frustrating as it is invigorating. It’s no fun if they make it easy on us. The harder we work, the more rewarding the win is.
Because we’re going to win. We will. We have to. My girl is in the stands, wearing my number. I’ve got to win this one for her.