Chapter 44
forty-four
. . .
Aidan
The All Star break is my one week to rest and recharge. After my daily workout, I stay at home and sit on the couch while Ceci’s working, but my regular video games don’t hold the same appeal during daylight as they do late at night.
In theory, I could go downstairs and bother Hailey and Ryan, but his parents are still in town, and I don’t want to impose. We get so little time with our friends and family during the season, so we need to soak up all the chances we get when we can.
It’s different for me and Hailey. She’s at all the home games, she lives two floors down, and she still likes to barge into my house for breakfast. But his parents live so far away, they don’t get enough time together.
I don’t know what to do with all this free time. The one person I want to spend it with is busy. She has a job to show up at and professional duties. I don’t want her to bail on her responsibilities. But I feel like a child, wanting attention and affection.
This is hard. Being in a relationship, taking other people’s needs and wants into account, is fucking hard.
I want to spend all my time with her, to curl up in bed next to her and breathe her in. Even if we don’t game, we can talk or simply exist. It’s good that she has a life outside of me. I don’t want to be the center of her world—she needs outside hobbies and friends.
Except I’m very consciously aware that, outside of hockey, my teammates, and my sister, I have no friends. No hobbies aside from gaming solitarily in my apartment.
Sure, I connected with Ceci online, but it’s different when my best friend is now my partner. I don’t have any other friends.
So how the fuck do I make some?
There are a handful of guys in the league who I talk to when we hit their cities, but we don’t chat much during the rest of the season. When I was in San Diego, Baxter and I hung out as much as Ryan and I do now.
That all fell away when he was traded. Now I look back and wonder why we lost touch.
Did I not try hard enough? Did he want a clean break? Getting traded always stirs up a lot of emotions. It wouldn’t surprise me if he simply didn’t want to deal with any of that.
There’s nothing to stop me from reaching out now, though. Especially with his little sister moving to Boston soon.
Aidan: Hey, man. How’s it going?
Baxter: Ivy is killing me.
I laugh out loud. She’s the bane of his existence, and he loves her to pieces.
Aidan: What now?
Baxter: She wants to turn down Harvard to go backpacking through Europe with the dickbag boyfriend.
Aidan: Yikes.
Baxter: Yeah, I’m less than thrilled.
Baxter: How’s Hailey? Making better life choices, I hope.
Aidan: She got married on Monday.
My phone vibrates with a call, his name scrolling across the display. I don’t want to do a voice call. That’s way too much effort.
But I’m trying. So I answer it.
“Hey,” I say when the line connects.
“She got fucking married?” he says without preamble.
“She’s been engaged for over a year and a half.”
“Where was my invite, asshole?”
“It must have gotten lost in the mail.”
“Fuck off,” Baxter mutters. “Wow. She’s really grown up, isn’t she?”
“Yep.”
“How the fuck did that happen?”
“Beats me.”
We fall silent for a few moments. It’s comfortable. I don’t feel the pressure to be “on” like I usually do.
So when the words come out, I’m as surprised as he is. Suddenly, I need to talk about it. To tell him. Not for his approval. More so an olive branch. An inside peek into my life.
“Do you remember, like, seven years ago, we used to game with a woman named Statistical Anomaly? You, me, and—”
“Whittaker. Yeah, I remember.” Baxter whistles.
Our old buddy is with New Orleans now. I talk to him when we’re in the same city for a game, but we don’t keep in touch, either. I don’t keep in touch with anyone.
How did I let all my friends slip away? How did I not notice I was pushing them all aside?
He sighs. “Fuck, I haven’t thought about that in a while. Barely have time to game now.”
“We’re dating.” My smile stretches from ear to ear. It’s so much more than dating. We’re building a life together, one day at a time.
“No fucking way.”
“She lives here, and she’s friends with my sister, and we… we’re together. And it’s serious.”
“Shit, man.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “I’m happy for you.”
“Her name is Ceci, and she’s amazing. I haven’t felt like this before.”
“You going to settle down? Do the marriage and babies thing?”
“She doesn’t want that. And I don’t think I need it to be happy with her.”
“You sound it.”
“It’s never been like this before,” I admit. He knows what my ex did in broad strokes, having joined the team right after everything blew up in my face. He knows I didn’t have much desire for dating, and even less for casual relationships. “This could be the real thing.”
“So when do I get to meet her?”
“When are you in Boston next?”
He hums. “Dunno. I don’t think we’re going back to you until playoffs.”
I snort out a laugh. “You think you’re making it to the playoffs?”
Buffalo hasn’t made the playoffs in… well, I don’t think I can count that high without laughing.
“Fuck off.”
We fall into another comfortable silence.
“Want to play some Madden?” he finally says.
A smile spreads across my face. “Fuck yeah. Let’s do this.”
“Okay, switching over to my console. Give me ten minutes.”
We hang up the call, and I take the opportunity to piss, fix a snack, and check my phone—no texts from Ceci—before I turn on the gaming console and navigate to the game.
Within a few minutes, I get a request from Bax, and we connect again.
“Ready to get your ass whooped?” he says.
I laugh, a hearty chuckle. I’ve forgotten how much he likes to trash talk. A lightness fills my chest. Gaming with Ceci is fun, and it’ll always be my preference, but it’s reassuring to know I have friends outside of her. A life outside of her.
I take a sip of my sparkling water, relaxing into my recliner. “Bring it.”