Chapter 12
At first, I thought he was joking. The intense expression on his face convinced me otherwise. By the time he finished talking, I decided hed proposed a good idea.
Do you realise how big an undertaking this would be? I asked.
He sat back and gave me one of those slow smiles of his.
My heart flipped. He was too hot for his own good. If he wasnt such a pain in my ass…
He crossed his arms over his chest. His fingers were long, hands big. All the better to catch balls.
Shit, now my mind wasnt thinking about footballs.
Im sure youre up for it, he said. This is something Ive been meaning to do for a long time. I just didnt know how. With you on board, itll be a piece of cake.
Im pretty sure itll be anything but cake, I said. A few bottles of vodka, maybe.
Ill buy you a case of it when we pull this off, he said. Or some fancy wine.
I rubbed my forehead with my fingertips. Was I really considering getting involved in his crazy plan? If we pulled it off, it would be amazing. If it crashed and burned, so would I.
What the hell, I said finally. Nothing ventured, I guess. I sipped the wine hed just bought me. You realise this means spending more time together, right?
He snapped his fingers. I knew I was forgetting something. He grinned. Naw, just kidding. Im up for it if you are. Might even rope my sister in to help.
I nodded. Good idea. I can think of a few others who might.
Yeah? he asked. I know when a woman is plotting something. Out with it. He gave me a come on, spill gesture with his curled fingers.
Was it that obvious? Id have to work on that. I couldnt have him knowing what I was thinking, especially when it was about him.
Im just that smart. He looked smug.
If you say so. I kept my tone teasing. An hour ago I would have called him an arrogant asshole for saying something like that. Now… I didnt know what to think.
Oh, I do say so. He wiggled his brows. If he was walking, he would have strutted. He was almost doing that in his chair. So go on, who are you thinking of?
Rubie Thomas, for one, I said.
He shook his head in surprise. For a moment I thought hed say a flat no. Instead, he looked cautious and said, Why?
I pursed my lips. She said she wants to help other people. Shes looking for a way to make a difference.
It might piss her father off, if she works with someone he fired, Bam said. He jerked back a little. Sorry, I shouldnt have brought that up.
I sighed through my nose. It is what it is. I suspect she might like your plan for that reason. She might see it as a way to get back at her father. If he noticed. I didnt want to get in the middle of anything between father and daughter, but she would be a great help. What strings Bam and I couldnt pull, she would. No doubt she knew people I could only dream of knowing.
This wasnt about being star struck, not at all. Okay, maybe a little. Mostly it was about helping people. If she could draw in more interest, then that was all the better.
Depends if you can get her off her phone. Bam grimaced lopsidedly.
Actually, her social media influence could be a big help, I said. One post could make this whole thing go viral. In a good way.
Thats good, he said. because I already went viral in a bad way.
Yeah, well, this should go a long way to earning all the brownie points you could imagine, I said. But dont forget, another incident like that bar fight will undo all the good in a nanosecond.
What was it they said? It can take years to build a good reputation and minutes to tear it all down. Once it was down, it would be hard to rebuild it again. This might be his one chance to make things right.
Ill be the model dude, he assured me. If anyone says anything bad, theyll be lying.
Unless they catch it on camera, I reminded him.
Then its a deep fake. He nodded with certainty.
I laughed. No offence, but unless youre a politician or a big shot movie star, I dont think anyone would make one of you. From what I gather, they take a lot of time.
He pretended to be offended. Girl, are you sayin Im not a big shot pro football player?
Of course you are, I said nicely. But pro ball and Hollywood are continents apart.
I knew I should have signed with an American team. The side of his mouth pulled up. Then youd take me seriously.
I still wouldnt, I said. Youd still be you.
He frowned, but a smile tugged at both corners of his mouth now. I dont know if I should be offended or happy about that. He cocked his head. Ill think about it and let you know.
I snorted. Being you is a good thing. I paused before I added, I think.
He chuckled. Being me is pretty awesome. Especially right now.
Because youve got this amazing career playing football. Women throw themselves at you all day long. Id noticed several staring, or giggling with their friends over him. I was sure he wouldnt spend the night alone. Why did that make me want to claw their eyes out?
I went on. Youre tall and pretty okay to look at, and?—
Because Im sitting here looking at you, he said, over me and the music. Youre pretty okay to look at too. More than okay, youre beautiful.
I blushed. If you think Im going to fall into bed with you, just because you said that…
I thought he was going to apologise. Instead, he shrugged and said, It was worth a try. We can still work together though, right?
It took me a few moments and a sip or two to compose myself.
Yes, just dont go flirting with me like that, okay? If a guy was going to give me compliments, I wanted him to believe it. Otherwise I wouldnt. A relationship based on flattery wouldnt last very long.
Okay. He sounded meek, but he didnt look it. His brown-eyed gaze was intense, like he was trying to see into my soul, or something. Working relationship. I can do that. I wont promise I wont flirt a little bit though. Thats who I am. Ill try to keep it appropriate. Hands in my pockets and all that.
You should probably keep them where I can see them, I said. Dont picture him with his hand curled around his cock.
I eyed his hands again. I bet he could be gentle and tender when he wanted to be. How would it feel to have him touch me… My nipples pebbled.
I took a gulp and tried not to choke. I really needed to keep my thoughts in check around him. When he wasnt around too. Wed work together, nothing more.
He placed his hands, palms down, on the table. See, no funny business. His boyish smile made my pulse race a little faster.
This would be a lot easier if he wasnt so bloody hot.
Who was I kidding? If he had a face like a potato, hed still be charming. His smile, his voice, his sense of humour— Was it too late to go back on the working relationship only rule?
No, I couldnt step back from that. Nothing good would come of Bam and I sharing anything other than work and a few drinks. I didnt want to be just another woman he slept with. I didnt want to be that with any man. Was a meaningful relationship too much to ask for?
I swallowed and nodded. Good. We should meet during the week to iron out the details. Unless tomorrow you realise it was the beer talking.
He looked down at his glass. It might have given me the courage to suggest it, he said. But Im sincere in wanting to do this. Its… He seemed to be searching for the right words. Its important to me.
I nodded. All right then. lets do it.
He arched an eyebrow. Now whos flirting?
I rolled my eyes, but my heart thudded harder.
Not me, I said firmly. Okay, maybe I had a bit, but I hadnt meant to. Well, mostly hadnt meant to. I might have meant to flirt a little bit.
Maybe you can flirt with me then? A woman with dark hair, dark eyes and cleavage for days, slid into the seat beside Bam. Im Heaven.
Bam blinked, his eyes all on her. Yeah, so I see.
She gave him a slow, flirty smile and leaned in toward him. You look like a man who would like a taste of heaven.
If she knew I existed, she gave no sign at all. I might as well have been a chair, or a puddle of water on the table. I wanted to give her a high five. In her face. With my elbow.
Bam cleared his throat. Were kinda in the middle of something here. He gave me an apologetic look.
No, its fine, I said quickly. I think we were finished anyway. You have my number. Call me when youre ready to talk about that work thing.
Work thing, right. He nodded. Uh, yeah, Ill call you. He looked like thinking with the head on his shoulders was a strain right now.
Of course, this was the real Bam. The big time running back for the Storm Valley Rapids. Ladies man. Tomorrow he would have forgotten all about his proposal. It was little consolation to know he will have forgotten about Heaven by then too. Guys like that always did.
One night, then theyd move on to the next, and the one after her, until their names were a blur. They wouldnt settle down because there was always another one and another and another. Sticking with one woman meant disappointing so many others. It would be like choosing a favourite flavour of ice cream. Some people could do it—chocolate choc-chip for me— and others cant.
I got it, I couldnt choose a favourite cat. If we were all the same, life would be boring. Still, I couldnt stop myself from wondering what it might be like to be with a guy like him.
I shook my head to myself and stood.
Ill see you later.
Heaven shot me a smile like she couldnt believe it was all that easy, and turned right back to Bam.
Yeah, later, he said. He looked uneasy for some reason. He was a big boy, I was sure he could manage being alone with an interested woman.
I grabbed up my wine glass—Heaven wasnt getting that—and went to find a table where I could sit alone and watch the band. They were good, but I barely heard them. All I could think about was being jobless and alone in a crowd of people all split off into pairs.
I was usually okay with being alone. Tonight, though, it left me feeling cold and empty. Not even chocolate could fill this kind of void. I wasnt sure even my cats could.
I finished my wine and ordered a taxi with the app on my phone.
When I looked back toward Bams table. I wasnt even slightly surprised to find it empty, no sign of him or Heaven. Id steer clear of alleys as I stepped through the door into the cold night air.
I made myself a bet that I wouldnt hear from Bam at all after tonight. Part of me never wanted to see him again.
The rest of me ached like I was missing a part of myself.