Chapter 40 #5
Gathering all my courage, I touched my fingertips to that perfection of warm, well-worked pectoral muscles, right over the scar above his left nipple.
His skin burned, hotter than it should have been, so I held still to keep from moving my fingers across it.
I felt Zion stiffen and his breathing grow labored, matching my own uneven breaths.
I waited to see if he would push me away, but he didn't. Seconds passed, and my hands couldn't stay in place—I was eager to explore more of Zion.
I stared at the raised scar that stood out against his skin and slid my fingers gently over it.
It was pink and misshapen, which was strange, because fae scarring didn't leave keloids.
Whatever caused this must have cut him deep.
“What caused this scar?”
The question seemed to ease some of the tension in his posture. Zion looked at the spot where my fingers rested, then met my eyes again.
“I don't know. I've had it for as long as I can remember.”
For a moment too long, our eyes stayed locked on each other. I was the first to look away, turning back to where my hand was exploring. I trailed my fingers across his chest, passing over his nipple and down to the first ridge of his abs.
Suddenly, his hand caught mine in a tight grip and I heard Zion curse under his breath.
“What are you doing?” he asked, annoyed, trying to control his voice. I shrank back and tried to pull my hand away, but he held it. My throat tightened into a knot when I saw how displeased he was.
“I'm sorry, I don't know where my head was.
I just wanted to know what it's like to touch...” I explained awkwardly, stumbling over the words.
I felt like a child caught making mischief, and my face was flushed like a ripe persimmon.
I think that was the stupidest thing I'd ever done in my life, after trying to help Adele, of course.
“I just... I was wrong to think I could... I...”
The embarrassment was so overwhelming I couldn't even finish the sentence.
When I managed to pull away enough to get out of bed, Zion grabbed my arm and pressed himself against me, pinning me to the mattress.
His face appeared over mine, making me freeze.
He still held my hand, but now his grip had loosened.
“I'm sorry,” he said, looking into my eyes. “I acted like a jerk, but it's not what you think. Don't feel insecure about this for even a second.”
I swallowed hard, staring at his mouth, just inches from mine.
“So what’s the problem?”
“I like it when you touch me,” he said, lifting my hand between our faces and pressing a kiss to my wrist. The gesture made my heart race as he dragged his soft lips across my skin.
“Even when we hold hands, the touch feels surreal to me. The problem is I don’t know the limits of my self-control, and if things get intense, it could end very badly. ”
The “end badly” probably involved the partnership bond snapping into place and Zion dying because of the agreement.
I knew I couldn’t go too far, yet I reached out with my free hand and caressed the side of his face, then traced his lower lip with my thumb.
This time, he didn’t stop me and closed his eyes to savor the touch.
I continued carefully, not wanting to startle him.
“Do you think...” I was too embarrassed to say it out loud. He opened his eyes to watch me, which only made it worse. “Do you think you could kiss me? I mean, would you kiss me?”
Zion stared at me as if I’d just said something incredibly stupid.
“I don’t think you have any idea what it’s like for me.
” A hoarse, incredulous laugh escaped him.
“The problem isn’t kissing you—the problem is stopping.
I feel like if I allow myself the luxury of touching you, it’ll be our first and last kiss, because I’ll end the night on top of you, and your mouth won’t be the only thing I’ll be kissing. ”
I pictured the scene he’d just described and blushed when I realized how much I wanted it. God, what was this man doing to me? Zion lay down and pulled me to his chest. I rested my hand on his abdomen and he held it, intertwining his fingers with mine.
“Sounds like a good way to die.”
He snorted and pressed me even closer against his body. Then he tucked two fingers under my chin and tilted my face toward him. He brought his mouth close to my neck and breathed deeply.
“Don’t test my control, Kyller,” he whispered against my ear.
I shuddered, shaken by the huskiness of his voice.
When he pulled back enough to look at me, his eyes held a hint of desire that made me recoil at the intensity.
“I’ve been walking too close to the edge, and I need to stay in control until Serguei frees us from the agreement. ”
I pulled back, for the first time truly worried about how problematic it could be if things got out of control. We were partners—until now the bond had remained stable, but only the gods knew what would happen if we got too close to each other. Zion was right to worry.
I laid my head on his chest again, trying to cool things down.
“Until Serguei frees us from the agreement.” It was a confession, but also a promise. Then I closed my eyes to keep from provoking a catastrophe.
“Good night, Zion,” I murmured as sleep overtook me.
He didn’t respond, and I let myself drift off.
“Kyller?”
“Yes?” I murmured sleepily.
“You said I wasn’t afraid of anything, but I am afraid of one thing.” He paused, breathing deeply, as if the words were hard to say. “I’m afraid of losing you. That’s my greatest fear.”
I stroked his hand with my thumb and couldn’t stop the smile tugging at my lips.
“You won’t, Zion. I’m right here.”