Chapter 21
Sadie was in an odd mood when she got home from work, darting him critical, contemplative looks while Saul did his best to help her make dinner, doing whatever it was possible to handle one-handed.
He didn’t need to be a psychologist to understand she’d pulled some of those layers he’d carefully peeled away back into place.
Maybe not all of them, though, if her obvious confusion was anything to go by.
And while part of him preened, another, bigger part of him was cautious too.
After all, it wasn’t like this could go anywhere.
His life wasn’t his own right now. He had nothing to offer a woman except money and a good time…
whether he liked it or not. Was it fair to dismantle Sadie’s hard-won defenses, then leave her to fend for herself when he left the island? Or worse, was killed.
Saul knew it was a distinct possibility.
He hadn’t walked into this life without his eyes fully open.
He’d always understood and accepted the risks.
But if he deliberately stripped Sadie of the barricades she hid behind, wouldn’t he be leaving her vulnerable and open to even more hurt than she’d already endured in her short life?
He knew that was a fact without having looked at the detailed background check he’d had commissioned.
The one he still hadn’t read because somehow it seemed like a betrayal. A violation of her privacy.
And since when had that been something that bothered him?
But he knew it was because he really wanted Sadie to trust him enough to tell him herself.
To be comfortable enough to confide in him.
Because despite all his logical reasoning, what he felt for her went deeper than a passing fling, and he found himself wanting to be someone she could rely on.
Someone who didn’t let her down. He had a gut feeling too many people in her life had already done that, and he didn’t need to read about her past in black and white to know it.
It was written all over her. The way she reacted to people.
The layers she’d built up to protect herself.
Saul wanted to show her she was wrong, that not everyone would let her down.
And that really wasn’t fair when he couldn’t be sure he’d be here for her. Not by choice, but simply because of the way things were right now.
Or maybe he was just getting above himself. Because nothing, absolutely nothing, about Sadie’s behavior said she was looking for anything more than a scene or two.
Or perhaps it did, and he just didn’t know it.
“How was your day?” he asked, in an effort to distract them both.
Sadie shot him a look, then narrowed her eyes. “What do you know about Zack Kincaid using the mainframe computer for the island?” she asked, surprising him into a rare guilty look.
“Aha! I knew it,” she exclaimed, pointing the spatula she’d been using to stir the seafood gumbo she was making at him in a way that made Saul want to take it from her and thrash her ass with it. The thought had his cock twitching, and he wished his shoulder was up to the job.
“It’s nothing to do with it potentially being hacked, is it? It’s all to do with you.”
Saul rubbed his lightly bristled cheek and considered the accusation.
It wasn’t exactly a secret - well, not from Sadie, anyway, since she was well aware of what was going on.
“You’re right,” he agreed, deciding she deserved honesty from him, if that was all he could give her.
“Luca offered it to speed up the search for the auction. Zack’s found the signature.
He just needs to pin it down and hack it.
There’s a lot of layers shielding it, as you can imagine, and we’re on a time crunch. ”
Turning away, Sadie simply nodded and went back to stirring the big pan in front of her.
“Is it causing a problem?” he asked, not wanting to be so easily dismissed, even though, for both their sakes, he’d be better off letting it go.
She shrugged. “Dani was bitching about it over lunch, but I think that was more to do with Zack than the computer situation.”
He couldn’t help the smile. Not that Sadie appreciated it. She narrowed her eyes at him. “It’s not funny, Saul. Dani’s upset.”
Saul threw his palms up in a gesture of surrender.
“I wasn’t smiling about Dani’s predicament.
It was the thought that she’s probably giving Zack what for, to exact her revenge.
And that man is so tightly controlled, it’s exactly what he needs.
Someone to upset his tidy little life and turn it upside down. ”
“Hmph!” Sadie leaned against the countertop and folded her arms in front of her.
“And what about how it turns Dani’s life upside down before he disappears from it again?
Or I suppose, since you’re both men, little things like that don’t matter.
” There was vitriol in her voice, like she was drawing from past experiences.
Saul didn’t take offence, though he imagined a lot of other men might.
He wasn’t most other men, though.
“Don’t tar me with the same brush as your narrow-minded stereotype of men, Sadie,” he said, piercing her with a much more serious look.
“Or what?” she asked, her stubborn streak making itself known verbally. It was always there, but normally she was less vocal with it. “You’ll punish me? Go for it, big boy.”
Saul found he liked riling her up. Bringing out that petulance and attitude she usually kept so tightly buttoned. Completely controlled until she was desperate for a severe enough punishment to allow her to let it go.
He raised one eyebrow and folded his arms, mirroring her stance. “Oh, I’ll punish you alright, little girl,” he replied silkily. “But not in the way you’d like.”
He paused, watching her face and the myriad of micro-expressions she tried to keep from showing on it. Excitement, trepidation, caution. Fear? Most wouldn’t even notice unless they were trained to assess people like he was.
She allowed only belligerence to settle on her features.
“I’ll tease you with a feather and edge you until you’re begging,” he threatened, feeling a thrill when her eyes widened before she smoothed out her expression once again. “Don’t think I won’t do it,” he added when she opened her mouth to argue.
She must have believed him, because instead, she turned and settled her attention on the gumbo instead.
Hmm… it had been meant as an empty threat, but in lieu of being able to give her the thrashing she wanted, maybe he really should try it.
After all, it wasn’t anything that would tax his shoulder.
And once he had her tied up…