Chapter 27
Sadie felt the difference in the house as soon as she opened the door.
There was an oppressive stillness and silence, as if something was missing, and she instinctively knew that something was Saul. Just like she knew he wasn’t simply over at Zack’s place.
Outside, everything seemed normal. Perfect. Too perfect.
The evening sun stretched low across the horizon, dipping towards the sea, the first streaks of orange and red reflected in the quietly undulating water. Birds fluttered among the fragrant bushes, their song belying the heaviness Sadie suddenly felt in her heart.
She walked into her open plan living area and a tremor of regret trickled down her spine. She might never see him again.
Even if that wasn’t Saul’s intention, it might be the reality. He was venturing out into a world that may very well find a way to end his existence, all while he was trying to secure his future.
A future that depended on a lot of different moving parts falling seamlessly into place.
In short, Saul was relying on luck.
Sadie couldn’t pinpoint the exact cause of her sadness.
She’d always known their time had an expiration date, which was set in stone.
Always known this day would come. If anything, she was lucky to have had him this long.
She didn’t doubt he would have left earlier if he’d had the information before now.
Today was D-day. The day the auction ended.
The day that might steer the path of the rest of his life. One that could be cut short if things didn’t go to plan. The mere thought of it made Sadie shudder.
As she accepted the reality that Saul was gone, it felt like the island held its breath for just a moment. The colors of the sunset dimmed. The birdsong wasn't quite so joyful. And the tropical paradise was no longer quite so perfect.
Truth was, despite everything they’d shared, she didn’t even have a way to contact him. Whatever happened, she might never even know.
No. Luca would surely tell her, wouldn’t he?
She inhaled deeply, trying to center herself, trying to calm her racing heart. The logical part of her brain reminded her that Saul was resourceful, cunning. He had survived this long in a world that wanted him dead. Surely, he could navigate whatever challenges lay ahead.
But logic warred with the ache in her chest, the longing to see his mischievous smile once more. To feel the warmth of his skin against hers, to lose herself in his intense gaze.
Was this what it felt like to fall in love?
Sadie had never expected it to happen. Had never thought she’d let anyone close enough for it to be a possibility.
But in those quiet, secret times she didn’t acknowledge, when she thought about love - purely academically, of course - she’d always thought it would be something that slowly built as trust and respect were won.
Those working as a counterbalance to the other until they were eventually even, and love had a level field of opportunity.
This? This was an earthquake. The very foundations of her world had been shaken, and Sadie felt shell-shocked and disoriented. This was not the gentle blending of souls she associated with love, it was a seismic disturbance!
Sadie wandered to the window, staring out at the darkening sky. The first stars were appearing, twinkling against the lush velvet expanse. Here on Elysium, she’d felt the safest she’d ever been. Like the demons from her past existed on a different plane. Somewhere else.
For the most part, that was true. She was sheltered here.
Protected. But that didn’t mean their shadows hadn’t followed her to this flourishing oasis of calm.
They still liked to poke their head into her subconscious, during those times when she slept and her guard was down, but logically, Sadie had always seen them for what they were; echoes of the past, which rose to plague her.
They might disrupt her sleep, but they couldn’t hurt her.
Not physically, at least. The confines of the prison she chose were gilded with beauty, and she’d never resented them.
They protected her. And while she may not have been truly happy, she was at least content.
Then, with Saul, she’d succumbed to a profoundly deeper state of serenity. He’d opened the doors and shone a light into the shadows that haunted her, taking away their power and rendering them harmless. Sadie had never really appreciated that until now, when the radiance of his presence was gone.
Oh, how she missed him. The emotion was magnified by the knowledge that she might never see him again.
Just the thought hurt her heart. Slashed at it far more than diminishing ghosts from her childhood.
Looking out through the open balcony doors, she wondered if Saul was looking at these same stars that were slowly starting to flicker on in the deepening sky.
Wherever he was, it felt like there was a tear in the fabric of her contentment.
Turning away from the sea, and the scents, and the painted sky where echoes of crimson painted a canvas that flowed through shades of purple and into the deep mauve backdrop of the first stars, was easier than turning away from the melancholy Sadie suddenly felt.
That’s when her gaze fell on the single piece of paper propped up against her fruit bowl on the counter separating her lounge area from her kitchen.
She hurried to it, her fingers shaking enough to make the paper tremble as she read, her eyes devouring the words on the page, her heart racing with every line:
My dearest Sadie,
I wish I could have said goodbye in person, but I feared I might not have the strength to leave if I saw your face one last time.
Know that these past days with you, short though they might have been, have been some of the happiest of my life.
You've shown me a glimpse of a life I never thought possible, a warmth I never knew existed.
I go now to face my fate, whatever it may be. The auction ends today, and with it, my future hangs in the balance. I don't know what lies ahead, but I carry the memory of you with me like a talisman against the darkness.
If fortune smiles on me, I'll find a way back to you. If not... know that you've given me a taste of paradise I'll cherish until my last breath.
Thank you for everything, Sadie. For your kindness, your passion, and for showing me what it means to truly live.
And I beg of you, even if I’m not there to see it, please, dearest Sadie, live the life that I cannot.
Be brave and step out into the sun. Banish your demons and know that the best revenge is a life well lived.
Always yours,
Saul
Tears blurred Sadie's vision as she clutched the letter to her chest. The ache within her swelled, threatening to consume her.
She sank to the cool tile floor, her back against the kitchen island, Saul's letter pressed to her heart.
The tears she'd been holding back finally spilled over, streaming down her cheeks in hot rivulets.
For the first time in years, Sadie allowed herself to truly feel.
The walls she'd so carefully constructed around her emotions crumbled. No, that wasn’t completely true.
Saul had been dismantling them from the beginning, she’d just obstinately refused to let him in.
Now she wept for Saul, for the future they might never have, for the life she'd hidden from for so long.
As the sobs wracked her body, a strange sensation began to build within her. It started as a tiny spark in her chest, growing steadily until it became a roaring flame. Sadie recognized it with a jolt of surprise–it was anger. Not at Saul, but at herself.
She'd wasted so much time cowering from the shadows of her past, letting fear dictate her every move. And now, when she'd finally found someone who made her feel alive, she might lose him forever without ever having truly let him in.
Sadie's fingers tightened on the letter, crumpling the edges. No. She wouldn't let it end like this. Saul's words echoed in her mind: "Be brave and step out into the sun." He was right. She had been hiding for far too long.
With a shaky breath, Sadie pushed herself to her feet. She wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand and straightened her shoulders. The spark of anger had ignited something else within her—determination.
She strode to her bedroom, yanking open drawers and tossing clothes onto the bed. Her mind raced as she packed a small bag. She didn't know exactly what she was going to do, but she knew she couldn't stay here, paralyzed by fear and regret.
As she zipped up her bag, Sadie caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her hair disheveled, but there was a fire in her gaze that she hadn't seen in years. She barely recognized the woman staring back at her.
Sadie marched back to the kitchen, snatching up her phone.
Her fingers hovered over Luca's number for a moment before she hit call, but only because she was unsure who to contact now she wanted to take her first leave from the island since she’d started here two years ago.
Normally, she’d contact Dani, but her friend would want more details than Sadie could rightfully give.
Things that Luca would be able to smooth out for her.
It rang several times before he answered, his lilting Italian voice flowing smoothly down the line. "Sadie? What's wrong?"
"Saul's gone," she said, the words catching in her throat. "He left to... to face whatever's coming with the auction, and I can't just sit here and do nothing."
There was a pause on the other end of the line, a door closing like he was seeking privacy. When Luca spoke again, his tone was cautious. "Sadie, you know you can’t go to find him. It’s far too dangerous, and you could put Saul in even more danger if he’s distracted by worrying about you —"
"I understand that Luca," Sadie interrupted. “That’s not why I’m calling. I need your help getting off the island and getting to my… old home.” It stuck in her throat, calling it that.
The place where she grew up had been a lot of things.
A prison. A torture chamber. A place where all her dreams had gone to die. The place she’d run from.
But never a home.
She’d never spoken of it to him, but Sadie didn’t doubt Luca knew all about her past. He wasn’t the type of man to give just anyone free rein over his precious resort, no matter that Dallas had pulled strings to get her here.
"I've spent too long hiding, Luca. Too long letting fear control me. I can't do it anymore,” she told him, surprising herself with the vehemence in her voice.
“As for Saul. You're right, I need to know what happens to him, even if... even if it's not good news. But I won’t interfere."
She heard Luca sigh heavily. "You really care about him, don't you?"
"More than I thought possible," Sadie admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s Saul who’s given me the strength to stand up to my past. If I can’t do anything else for him, at least I can do that.”