52. Chapter 52
I don’t go home, because that’s not where I want to be with all these thoughts in my head.
I instead let Alex’s car hit the curb hard enough to pop up onto it, yank the door open, and streak across the street to Imogen’s shop. The bell screaming at me when I shove it open and find her behind the counter.
She looks up and goes solid.
For half a second, she just gawks at me like I’m a ghost.
“Oh my God!”
She streaks around the counter and collides with me so hard I stagger, her arms locking around me like she’s afraid I’ll vanish the moment she lets go. Her whole body is shaking and I feel the way her breath hitches painfully against my chest in a sob.
“You’re alive,” she chokes. “You’re actually fucking alive.”
Right. Shit. I’ve got to have a story and one that’s convincing.
“I’m here,” I murmur.
She pulls back just enough to grab my face in both hands, her eyes wild and red-rimmed.
“Where the fuck have you been? Do you have any idea what I thought?” She demands as she all but shakes me.
I open my mouth, but I haven’t actually come up with the lie yet so nothing comes out. Her hands drop and her expression collapses inward, anger folding into something raw and shaking.
“They questioned me,” she whimpers hoarsely. “The cops did. Twice. They asked about you and the bar. I didn’t tell them about Pitch though, because I was scared that if the people at Pitch found out—if they hadn’t already grabbed you—they would.”
Fuck, that hurts a little bit. Knowing just how badly it would have hurt if she had done the same and disappeared on me.
“I’m sorry,” I manage to whisper.
“Sorry?” Her hands shake as she gestures at me. “Sadie, I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere!”
“I know. I know, and I’m so fucking sorry.” I breathe.
She scoffs, staring at me for a long moment before she turns abruptly and locks the front door. I flinch as she flips the sign closed and draws the blinds, effectively sealing us into her interrogation chamber.
“Sit,” she barks.
I do exactly that.
She begins to pace, running a hand up into her hair. “Start talking right now. And don’t you dare sugarcoat a single goddamn thing.”
I inhale slowly and choose my words carefully.
“I didn’t just disappear or wander off. I… uh, I found out who Plague was.”
She stills, her head whipping toward me at that. And here goes fucking nothing.
“He’s my therapist.”
I watch as color drains from her face.
“And I slept with him?” I add. Though it’s not really a question.
“What—wait—how does that have to do with you dropping off the face of the fucking earth, Sadie?” She chokes.
“Well, he uh… he kind of kidnapped me?”
“Kind of? Define kidnapped!” She shrieks.
“Like he decided that I should—”
She bolts for her phone and I’m on my feet in an instant, my hand slamming down on her own moments before she can grab the device. “What the fuck, Sadie? I’m calling the police!”
“Don’t.”
I don’t mean the word to come out as hard as it does. It comes out vicious and hard in a way I’ve never been with her. She jerks her hand away like I’ve stabbed her. “Are you out of your mind?”
“Imogen, please. Just listen.” I plead.
“No. You don’t get to please me out of this. You were missing. You were gone. And now you’re standing here telling me the man who kidnapped you is someone you slept with?” She scoffs.
“I left,” I say firmly. “He let me leave.”
“Oh, wow! Call the fucking judge, Sadie. I’m sure he’ll understand it!” She screams back.
“I know, but it makes it different!”
She laughs, hollow. “That’s what they all say.”
My chest tightens and flop back into my chair, cradling my face in my hands.
Fuck
Just—fuck!
I yank the pillow up from beside me, bury my face into it, and scream.
I scream until my lungs burns and there is no air left in them. And only when there is nothing but silence do I continue.
“He told me he loved me,” I whimper softly. “And then I ran, because that scared me more than anything else he had done.”
I look up to find her staring down at me. Her eyes searching mine as she tries to find some rationality in something that will never have any. I can’t explain to her what Alex and I are. I can’t… I can’t figure out what we are anymore because he went and changed the game with those three words.
“Christ, Sadie… you’re not even afraid of him for the reasons you should be.” She whispers.
My brows furrow and I rub at my brow, nodding as she flops down into her chair across from me.
“Oh my god, you fucking idiot. You love him.” She rasps.
I scoff automatically. “What? No.”
She doesn’t argue further, just waits for me to catch up.
“I don’t,” I insist. “I just… I don’t hate him.”
“You don’t fear him, Sadie. You only fear yourself with him. And you and I both know what that fucking means.” She breathes into the space between us heavily.
“I’m not calling the police,” I switch back topics in desperation.
She rubs at her face with both hands. “Sadie… people die around him.”
“I know.”
“And you’re just going to protect him?”
“I’m protecting me, Imogen. Because once I cross that line, there is no going back.” I certainly don’t point out that I’ve already done shit that would put me in the cell next to his own.
She looks up at me, eyes glossy. “He’s going to come back.”
“Yeah, I’m aware.”
“And you’re not going to run the next time, will you?” She asks softly.
I don’t answer and she stands, walks over, and pulls me up into her arms again. Gentle as she hugs me close and I wrap myself around her.
“I don’t like this, Sadie. I don’t trust him and I don’t trust where this ends.” She whispers into my ear, squeezing me tighter.
“I know.”
“I can’t convince you to fucking screw your head on straight?” She sighs, pulling back just enough to hold my gaze. No doubt gauging just how serious I am.
“No,” I murmur.
“What are you going to tell people about your impromptu disappearance?”
“A little of truth, a little of lie.” I mumble.
She sighs heavily, rolling her eyes. “Just… don’t disappear on me again. Promise me that, Sadie.”
“I promise,” I smile and reach up to cup her cheeks, squeezing affectionately.
“And if he shows up—”
“I’ll tell you,” I cut her off.
She hesitates before yanking me back into a hug. “Let’s get drunk.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I smile, clinging to her.