Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Jade
Water tumbles past us, a small waterfall plunging into a nearby ravine.
Light and shade carve shadows in Axel’s beautiful face, along his muscular forearms. I try not to watch his hands as he eats, tearing apart fresh bread and dipping it into garlic-infused oil.
Dominic returns with a platter of sizzling seafood, crisply breaded, so light it melts in the mouth.
It’s as good as anything I’ve had, and I’ve eaten at some of the best restaurants in the world.
Another course, traditional nasi goreng, is perfectly flavoured, light yet satisfying, utterly delicious.
The island seems to hold one surprise after another. But by far the biggest surprise is Axel. I have so many questions, but I don’t want to pry. Something is building between us, and as we sit and talk and laugh, I don’t want to break it by being pushy. But it seems as though he reads my mind.
He sits back, dabbing his mouth with the linen napkin. “So. I guess you have questions. You know who I am. And what I used to do.”
“Uh, I do. But…” I pause, wanting to get it right. “It’s none of my business. It seems to me that people come here because they want to get away. The last thing you need is someone like me poking my nose into things.”
He says nothing, but one corner of his mouth curves slightly, his grey gaze warming.
“It’s why I came here,” I continue. “To get away. The world knows too much about me, and I wish they didn’t. So there’s no way I’d want to pry into what happened to you.”
“What happened to me?” His grey eyes shutter.
“I’m assuming something did, to make you shut everything down. But like I say, it’s none of my business.”
His gaze clears, his lips parting, and it’s as though he’s on the verge of telling me. But the moment passes. “I came here to heal,” is all he says.
“And did you?”
Again that half-smile, which is utterly kissable. “I don’t know yet.”
Dominic returns, this time with what looks like crème caramel, but there are slivers of lime peel and coconut shavings on the top. Axel digs in his spoon, then pauses. “What about you? Are you… I don’t want you to share anything you don’t want to, but I hope this place helps, a little.”
“It’s helping. Oh my god.” I’ve taken a bite of the dessert. “This… This is helping. It’s heavenly.” I wave my spoon at him. He grins.
“Dominic is a legend around these parts.”
“Deservedly.” I moan a little as caramel cream laced with hints of coconut and lime dissolves on my tongue.
Then I blush. Shit. I feel so comfortable with Axel, I kind of forgot we just met.
Me making sex moans over my dessert is maybe a third-date kind of thing, at the very least. Not that this is a date.
Axel Black is not your rebound. I feel like I should write the words in pen on my arm or something. This is ridiculous.
“Would you like coffee, or do you want to get going?”
“Get going?” Oh god. Please don’t let this be the end of our outing.
Axel shrugs. “There are some other places I want to show you.”
I try not to show how relieved I am. “Maybe we can skip the coffee, then. I definitely want to see more.” Of your abs, my mind adds.
I dig my fingernails into my wrist, under the table.
Axel is my host, not my boyfriend. And this trip is supposed to be about me figuring myself out, not jumping the next available man, despite how utterly jumpable he is.
“Good.” Axel’s gaze lingers on my mouth, then he blinks, looking away. Huh.
A short while later we’re on the scooter again, my arms wrapped around Axel like he belongs to me.
Which he does not, I remind myself. We turn down a side road, past more houses half-hidden in green leaves, each one idyllic looking.
This place really is magical. I wonder what it must be like to live here.
The road rises and we pass a large circular building with shuttered sides.
I feel Axel tense briefly, and I file it away to ask him about once we’ve stopped.
We keep heading upwards until the ocean is reduced to glimpses of blue through the treetops, the road narrowing.
We slow down, Axel turning along a gravelled track before pulling to a stop.
“Wow.” I take off my helmet, shaking out my braid.
A mountain rises to a peak behind us, the slopes green with vegetation laced with streamers of misty cloud, darker soil close to the jagged summit. I assume it’s volcanic, or was once, part of the vast chain of mostly underwater mountains that make up the Indonesian archipelago.
But it’s not the mountain, spectacular as it is, that’s making my jaw drop.
We’re on a natural shelf, edged with huge boulders, looking straight out across the island to the sea.
It’s beautiful. I can see the peninsula, like a little pot handle sticking out from the island, waves breaking on the rocky point.
Further out are more islands, shadowy green shading to deeper blue the further away they are.
There are tiny yachts and sailboats with red sails like miniature triangles, the ocean glittering and moving as though alive.
I feel like I’m flying, like I could take off from here and keep going forever.
“Shall we sit?” Axel’s voice is a quiet rumble, the heat of his body close to mine as he leads me to a carved stone bench.
I sit, not taking my eyes off the view. I’ve travelled to a lot of beautiful places, ridden waves around the globe, but being here, with him, feels somehow profound, as though I’m being shown something important and I need to figure out what it is.
Axel is quiet, like he knows I need time to process things.
Tears prickle the back of my eyes as I watch the view, the tiny boats and curling waves.
It’s as though we’re in a world of blue seas and green islands, a place untouched by noise or danger or superficiality.
But I know that’s not true. This island is an escape, yes, but life has a way of catching up with us.
We can only run for so long. My breath catches, and I blink.
“Are you all right?” Axel’s quiet presence is soothing; I feel I could sink into him and he could hold me, keeping me safe. No one in the world, apart from him, knows we’re here right now. But I don’t feel alone. Far from it.
I turn to him and smile, though my vision is blurred. “I don’t know what I want,” I say, the words surprising me.
He tilts his head. “In what way?” Still quiet, still gentle.
“Forget it.” I shake my head, feeling stupid. What am I doing?
“Okay.” Again, just acceptance. It spurs me to talk more.
“I came here because I wanted to escape … a lot of things.” I chew my lip, still staring out to sea. “To figure out what I want to do next. I have to go back, though. I can’t stay here.”
“You can stay as long as you need to,” he says. “But don’t you have another competition in a few weeks’ time?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Yes. How do you know that?”
Red pools along his high cheekbones. But he just shrugs, grinning. “I might not be part of that scene anymore, but I know when the big comps are.”
“Uh-huh.” I grin too, unable to help it. “Shame I can’t surf, though.”
His smile slides away, a line appearing between his brows. “Yeah. About that… I spoke to Mish. She won’t bother you again.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know I didn’t.” He holds my gaze, and something seems to build between us, like a thunderhead out at sea. Then he turns away, breaking the spell.
I take a moment to breathe, because I need it.
Axel
For someone who swore off relationships a long time ago I’m doing a pretty good job of turning today into a date. First the temple, then Dom’s place, and now one of the most romantic views on the island. I know at least two couples who got engaged up here. What the fuck is wrong with me?
And then letting it slip that I know when Jade’s next competition is.
I tried to shrug it off, but I could see intrigue in her green gaze.
Better, though, than the tears that threatened a moment before.
I sense that, like me, Jade is carrying a lot.
However, unlike me, she’s going to go back into the world and face up to things.
It hits me, not for the first time, that I’m just hiding here, as though I’m sheltering from a storm.
But the rain and wind are catching up to me, nonetheless.
Maybe it’s time for me to face up to things as well.
I get the sense I’ll be forced to, sooner or later.
I just wish I didn’t have to do it alone.
“What was that building we passed on the way up the hill?”
“Which one?” I know which one she means. But I also know it has the potential to open a can of worms. She came here to work out her own shit, not take on mine.
“The circular one with the shuttered sides. You tensed up when we went past it.” Pink blooms in her cheeks and she looks away, as though she’s told me too much. Maybe she has. I hide a smile as I answer.
“That’s the island council building.”
“The council?”
“Yeah. The island is run like a collective. Every decision is decided by a council, plus everyone who lives here contributes financially, to keep things running well. Putting back into the community. It’s why we have a good medical centre, that kind of thing.”
“Sounds like a pretty sensible way to live.”
“You think?”
“Yeah. I do, actually.” She sounds stung.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Making assumptions.”
“You mean, the assumption that I’m some sort of privileged famous person who wouldn’t agree with how things are run here?”
“I don’t think you’re privileged. Famous, yes. You saw the poster in my shop, didn’t you?”
She rolls her eyes, but her mouth curves. “Why don’t you think I’m privileged?”
“I know you live a pretty nice life. I was part of it too, for a while, and I remember how it can be. But I don’t think you would have come here if you had any other options.
” A gamble. She might tell me to fuck off.
But the vulnerability I glimpsed in her green gaze makes me want to find out more. To be there for her.
She’s silent for a minute. Then she smiles. “Yeah. You’re probably right.” Her eyes meet mine and I feel that lightning flash between us again, my whole body electrified.
“I’m glad, though,” she continues. “That I came.”
I pull my mind away from the idea of making her come. “Will you go out with me again tomorrow?” I find myself saying. “Just in the morning, as I have work to do in the afternoon. But there’s somewhere else I’d like to show you.”
I can’t believe I’m considering taking her to such a special place.
But something about the way she reacted to the temple, to the view, to everything we’ve seen so far tells me it’s the right thing to do.
Another gamble, but one which I hope will pay off.
Plus, I really want to see her again. Dangerous waters.
But perhaps it’s time for me to take the plunge.
She looks at me, considering. Then she nods. “All right.”