Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jade
I wake up and check my phone. Nothing from Zach, thank god, but I’m becoming increasingly aware that I’ve been away for a while, and that my time on Sembuh will soon be coming to an end.
Axel is still sleeping, on his back, his muscular body relaxed.
I know it almost as well as I know my own, every inch of him kissed or licked or caressed, yet I still can’t get enough of him.
It’s been a week since he took me to the artisan centre.
I suppose I should have taken up Mish’s invitation, especially as I’ll be leaving soon, but I don’t think this will be my last time on the island.
I’ve seen her, anyway, out in the surf; I’d finally taken Dora’s board back out, unable to resist the pull of perfect curling blue waves, the hiss and sting of salt against my skin.
We ended up bobbing out back of the break together, talking about surfing, before taking turns to ride the waves into shore.
I don’t know that I completely trust her, still, but it felt nice to try and mend things.
It was good to be in the water, too; my leg felt fine but, more importantly, so did my heart.
I found that girl again, the one I thought was lost to me, who surfs for the love of the waves, for the joy it brings.
The sea is part of me, and always will be.
But I always return to Axel’s arms, to his kisses.
I scroll through my messages and notifications.
I posted an image, a few days ago. Just a shot of the point and the waves rolling in, nothing to identify the place.
A short caption. “Taking time out before the next big wave.” That’s all.
No tags, no sponsors mentioned, nothing.
It still had tens of thousands of likes.
Sol has been in touch, checking in to make sure I’ll be at the next competition in a couple of weeks’ time.
I’ve been non-committal, citing my leg injury, even though it’s fine now.
The fact is, I don’t want to leave this place.
Or Axel.
I come to a decision. Before I can think too much about it, I message Sol.
My leg still isn’t great. I need to pull out of the next comp. Hope you understand.
I press send, then roll over, putting my phone down and pushing the covers back.
I lie there for a moment, letting my decision wash over me.
I rarely, if ever, miss competitions. Only if I’m really unwell.
I have to let Manny know, too, but I think he, out of almost everyone I know, will understand.
I know that my time on the island is almost at an end.
But I’m not ready for it to be. Not yet.
This is another choice I’m making for me.
Maybe I’m just trying to delay the inevitable, ignore the curl of apprehension at the knowledge that, at some point in the near future, I have to go back to the real world and keep working, for as long as I can.
I mean, yes. This is definitely what I’m doing.
But for now I want to enjoy Axel, and my time here.
I feel better than I can ever remember feeling, as though I’m fully present for the first time in years.
A lot of it is because I’ve taken the time to face up to the realities of my own life.
Because I’ve allowed myself to focus on what I want, on what makes me happy.
And it’s pretty simple, really. Good surf, good food, great sex. And Axel.
My stomach growls, and I wonder what time it is.
Breakfast time, certainly. I lean over, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, then slide from the bed.
A cool breeze is coming off the ocean, the long muslin curtains billowing.
I wander into Axel’s wardrobe, looking for a T-shirt.
I could wear one of mine, but something about wearing clothing that’s also touched his skin seems far sexier.
I already feel as though he’s part of me, cannot imagine my life without him.
It’s terrifying and wonderful at the same time.
I don’t know what the future holds for us, but if he would rather stay here, I’ll keep his secret.
Return here whenever I can, to his arms, to his bed.
I’m so glad I don’t have to leave as soon as I thought I did.
Yes, the world is waiting for me. But it can wait a little longer.
I rummage through the chest of drawers, releasing a hint of Axel’s bonfire scent, mixed with fresh laundry. I pause to breathe it in. I cannot get enough of this man.
I slip on a navy-blue T-shirt, long enough to cover my ass, then go to close the drawer when something catches my eye. It’s the edge of a photograph. I recognise the front veranda of Axel’s house. I pull it out, then wish I hadn’t.
It’s Axel. And a young woman. Her hair is long and dark brown, the same colour as her eyes, and she’s wearing one of those perfect Victorian lacy-style slip dresses.
She’s gorgeous. She’s leaning back against Axel, who has his arm around her shoulders.
Her hands are resting on his muscled forearm, and they’re both smiling.
And on the ring finger of her left hand is a rather large diamond ring.
Fuck.
I turn the photograph over. On the back is a message.
I’ll love you forever. Susie.
The handwriting is looping and feminine, a heart and two kisses underneath the message.
“Jade?” Axel’s voice comes from the bedroom. I jump, sliding the photograph back under the pile of T-shirts, pushing the drawer closed.
“I’m in here.” I try to sound light, like I don’t feel strangled. I take a moment, take in a few breaths. Maybe it’s an old photograph. “Just need a sec.”
I head into the bathroom and splash water on my hot cheeks, run damp hands through my hair. Axel made it clear when we got together that cheating was a deal-breaker for him. I have to remember that. But doubt gnaws at me as I head back into the bedroom.
Axel reaches for me, pulling me down into his warmth, wrapping his arms around me.
“You all right?”
I can’t speak for a moment, emotion choking me as I realise how much he means to me. “Axe, you’d tell me, wouldn’t you? If there was someone else?” I choke out the words.
“What’s got you thinking that?” His brows draw together.
“I don’t know. Just… I like you so much.”
“Is this because of Zach?”
Fuck. I cannot tell him about what I found. It feels like snooping, at best. I nod.
“I like you too, Jade.” His gaze narrows slightly, and he drops a soft kiss on my lips. “More than like you. I’m falling for you.”
“You are?” My voice is a whisper.
“It’s fucking crazy, I know. But I just feel”—he grabs my hand, lacing his fingers with mine—“that we have something here, even so soon.”
He doesn’t ask me for anything, doesn’t pressure me. Just offers me his heart, like that.
And I take it.
“I’m falling for you too,” I say, breathless.
My doubts slide away, overtaken by the strength of his embrace, the way his body feels against mine, the heat of his touch.
He pulls the T-shirt over my head, rolling me onto my back.
I shift beneath him, my legs opening as he slides inside me once more.
“Fuck.” My head goes back, his tongue lapping my throat as he starts to thrust. I grab him, pulling his lips to mine, sucking on his tongue, kissing him hard, meeting his thrusts with my own.
It’s fierce, fucking rather than making love.
I push on his chest, rolling him over, riding him hard.
He squeezes my tits, flicks and twists my nipples, then his thumb comes to my clit, pressing down.
I scream as the orgasm hits, rushing through me, overtaking me. He comes a few moments later, throbbing inside me, groaning as I scratch his chest, as I pump my hips against his, taking every last drop, rocking my clit against him.
I collapse against his muscular chest, his arms coming around me. We lie there, heart to heart, our breath slowing. And I try not to think about his ring on someone else’s finger, or what that might mean. It has to be an old photo.
If I tell myself that enough, I’ll believe it.