Chapter 10
Alara
W hat the fuck was that?
I glance over my shoulder at the strange man still standing where I left him.
That's when it dawns on me, I don't know his name.
I gave someone my freaking phone number and have no clue what his name is.
I don't know a single thing about this guy, yet for some reason I agreed to meet up with him after I clock out, when there's nobody else around.
Do I really have that little regard for my own damn safety?
With a deep breath, I stalk back over and tap him on the shoulder. He turns, glancing at me as though I'm the last person he expected.
"It's okay if you’ve changed your mind," he says, catching me off guard again. Why does he have a habit of doing that? "I uh... I'll see you when you sing next Saturday. If you sing again, that is."
He goes to step around me, but I reach out, grabbing his arm to stop him. "No. I just want to know your name."
Relief spreads across his face, and that stupid smile comes back. "I'm Nix."
"Nix," I repeat .
"It's short for Phoenix, but I stopped going by that when my parents adopted me. It doesn't exactly bring back good memories."
Adopted? Bad memories? Interesting.
"Hi, Nix. I'm Alara." I extend a hand, prompting him to shake it.
When his skin touches mine, a warm electric feeling shoots straight to my core, bringing my body to life. I crave more of him than I should, and when I slowly lift my eyes from where our hands meet, he reluctantly lets go.
"That's the proper way to introduce yourself to someone, Nix." I smile, knowingly being sassy. "I'll see you in two hours."
Before he can say anything further, I walk away, recounting the things I’ve learned about him from this short conversation.
One. His name is Phoenix, but he goes by Nix.
Two. He was adopted. Three. He has bad memories surrounding his name.
Three simple things that make me feel slightly better about meeting up with him.
I go through the rest of my shift robotically, my mind staying hyper-focused on thoughts of Nix.
Was it my voice that lured him in? Do I have some sort of secret seduction power I didn't know about?
Before I know it, closing time is right around the corner.
There are still a few stragglers milking their last drinks, but we called ‘last call’ a few minutes ago.
With any luck, they will leave, and I'll get out of here on time.
I get lost in a medial task as a body appears in front of the bar, shadowing me. "Sorry, we’re closing," I say before glancing up .
"Somebody ordered a burger." The familiar voice catches my attention.
"Oh, it's you."
"Just me." He smiles, placing the bag down in front of me.
"Hey, no drinks for you. We're closing," Gabby yells.
"He's here for me." I glance over, making her tilt her head.
"Tell your boyfriend to wait outside."
She disappears into her office before I have a chance to correct her. With a sigh, I turn to him. "Do you mind waiting outside?"
"Are you telling people I'm your boyfriend already?"
"Absolutely not!" I fire back.
"You can if you want." The corner of his mouth tilts up.
"You wish," I tease as he reaches out to grab the food.
"I've got it." I snatch the bag before he can take it away, and he nods slowly.
I don’t really know why. Maybe he thinks I'm not going to meet him outside.
"I'll wait ten minutes. If you don't come out, I'll leave. I told you I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable," he reassures me before walking out.
I consider what to choose as we finish up our closing chores.
I promised him a conversation, but I didn't exactly think that through. Are we going to sit on the curb? Will he want to go somewhere? Ten minutes later, it’s time to make the decisions.
Gabby and I walk out of the bar, and I come face-to-face with him.
"Hey." He waves awkwardly .
"Come on. We can go sit in my car so I can eat," I suggest, and he follows in silence, not declining my offer, as I try to keep my mind from telling me this is a bad idea.
"You good?" Gabby asks, opening her car door before glancing at Nix.
Maybe she’s picking up on the strange energy between us.
"If he kills me, you've seen his face." I shrug and pull my own car door open to dip inside.
She shakes her head and drives off a moment later.
Nix and I are now completely alone in the middle of the night.
The silence is louder than ever, neither of us knowing what to do next.
It's almost comical. Like, okay, we got here, now what?
I glance at him while he nervously fiddles with his fingers in his lap.
"What the hell are we doing?" I finally ask.
He pulls off his beanie, running his fingers through his hair. "I didn't think this through. I just wanted a chance to get to know you. Maybe asking you out on a real date, where we can get dinner, would have been better. This is kind of... odd."
"What?" I fake gasp. "You mean eating a cold burger in my car with you doesn't count as a real date?"
He tilts his head playfully. "If it doesn't go well, at least you'll have a funny story to tell."
"Oh, this has the potential to win me an award for number one worst first date ever."
"I’d better step up my game. Being known as the guy to give you your worst first date might scar my ego for life." He grins before reaching into the bag and pulling out a french fry .
"Hey." I snatch it from him. "Stealing my food is not a good start."
"Probably not, but it accomplished what I wanted.”
"And what's that?" I ask, grabbing another to stuff in my mouth.
"I made you laugh." He pauses, eyes flickering to my lips. "And your laugh is a nice sound."
"Thank you," I say, grabbing more fries than usual to hide the blush on my cheeks.
If this is a date, maybe I should act a little more lady-like. It’s not exactly polite to act like I haven't eaten in a week. I expect him to make some kind of comment about the way I'm eating, but he just watches with an intense focus.
"Tell me about you." I break the moment and grab the burger.
"That's a complicated question." He sighs.
"I'm not asking for your social security number. I just want to get to know you."
He laughs. "Okay, about me. I love music to the point where it’s basically my life.
I had a rough childhood, and it became a form of expression.
I already told you I was adopted. My adopted father bought me my first drum set when he saw the spark of interest. He encouraged me to lean into it, and I grew this deep connection.
The passion and longing for it took over.
It’s partly why I like watching you sing. " He hesitates, glancing up at me.
"Me? "
"It’s like looking in a mirror. There's pure vulnerability in your music.” He pauses, deciding to turn the conversation. “How long have you been singing?"
"That's a complicated question," I mimic his words. “Let’s just say for as long as I can remember.”
I decide to keep some of the details to myself. I'm not in the mood to try and explain why I don't remember years of my life, or the fact that I have amnesia. That doesn’t feel like a first date sort of conversation.
How long have I been singing? I can’t even answer a simple question. God, I hate that there are pieces of my life missing. It makes me feel so disconnected from myself sometimes.
"Are you okay?" He looks at me wearily.
Changing the subject, I ask, "What kind of places do you play at? I’m guessing you're in a band if you love it that much. Also, you look kind of familiar."
"I was hoping that wouldn't come up." His body language does a one-eighty, completely changing.
What’s up with that? It was just an innocent question. Wait... Did I know him, and I don't remember? Was he part of my missing singing years? He could be fooling me so he can take advantage of me.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuckidy fuck. I knew this was a bad idea. I could probably run fast enough to get away if I had to. What if he knows where I live, though? How will I get there without my car? I suppose I could hide and call Rayne. God, I'm so stupid .
"It's not what you think." He reaches out to try touching my arm, but I snatch it away.
"Don't touch me." I reach toward the door, ready to whip it open and be on my merry way, when he says something that confuses me even more.
"Nowhere Forever."
"Huh?" My face contorts, brows pinching together.
"It's the band I’m in. Nowhere forever." He pulls the glasses off his face and messes with his hair, giving me the chance to get another look at him.
There’s something about that name that I can’t place. He still looks familiar, but not familiar enough for whatever he's saying to make any sense.
"Nowhere Forever? I don’t know what that means. You're not stalking me, are you?" My eyes narrow.
"Well…" He laughs, and that’s the final straw. I push the door open as he yells, "NO! Wait!!"
I pause, one leg out of the car. "You have thirty seconds to explain before I start screaming at the top of my lungs."
"Fuck. This is not—"
"Explain!" I assert.
He shakes his head. "This really is going to be your worst first date ever."
"Fifteen seconds," I say, letting him know his time is running out.
"My band is famous. I didn't want to tell you because when people find out, they take advantage of it. That’s why I was wearing a disguise. I don’t even wear glasses.
I wanted the chance to be a normal person, and get to know you without having to think about whether or not you were only giving me the time of day because of my fame. "
"I hate to break it to you, but I have no idea who Nowhere Forever is."
"Don't you listen to rock music?"
"Sometimes.” I shrug.
“Our band has been at the top of the charts for the last 30 weeks.”
“Hold on. If you’re in a famous rock band, where’s your security? Why are you coming to some rundown bar outside of the city? Surely, you can pick up plenty of women. Why are you here with me?"
"My security is in the car across the street. I can go introduce him to you, if you want. I think his name is Gunther, but I don't really know. It’s not the same person every day. I'm here at this bar because I wanted a chance to be normal, like I said." He runs his hand along his forehead, dropping his head. “And I’m with you because I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. You’ve become all I can think about.”
"Okay." I shut the door, giving him time to explain further.
"When I came here for the first time, it was only supposed to be a one-time thing. I don't usually stray from the rules or take risks. It's just, I saw you, heard your voice, and I needed more. The fact that nobody noticed me was pure luck. "
I'm not sure why, but I touch his arm, reassuringly. I can’t imagine what it feels like to live a life and not know whether people are being genuine or just trying to use you. That’s a shit way to live.
"Our band was on tour for a year. This is the first real break we've had that’s been longer than just a couple of days.
That's part of the reason I kept my distance.
I was intimidated by the way I feel about you, and I didn't want to get you involved with my nonsense unless I was absolutely sure I could add something to your life besides stress.
Eventually, we have to go back on tour. I just can't stop thinking about you, and I know that’s selfish. "
I take a moment to process. "Okay. That’s a lot."
"Thank you for at least giving me a chance." He reaches out toward the handle of the door, assuming the worst, but I stop him.
"Would you wait a damn minute?" I glare as his head whips in my direction. "You’re right. This is definitely my worst first date ever, but I was going to suggest you redeem yourself with a second date."
His eyes soften for a moment before hardening again. I can see the moment his walls go up. "If this is because you think you're going to get concert tickets or be photographed in some magazine, I think I'll pass."
With that, he pushes open the door, leaving me alone in the car. What the hell?
"Hey, asshole," I call out, chasing him across the parking lot .
He finally stops in the middle of the street and turns to look at me. I place my body directly in front of him and glare up. He's so much taller than I am, which isn't surprising considering I'm only five foot four.
"I don't care that you're some big-shot drummer. If you’re done being an ass, I genuinely want to get to know you."
He contemplates my words before grabbing me by the back of my neck and pulling me close.
Soft lips hover just out of reach, so I push up on my toes and crush my mouth to his.
I melt into him, every moment more blissful than the last. His free hand lands softly on my cheek as the kiss deepens, and his tongue brushes against mine.
I shudder, whimpering softly, and he groans in return.
The hand on my cheek stays in place while the one on the back of my neck inches up far enough for him to tangle his fingers in the back of my hair, tugging gently and making me gasp.
He nips at my bottom lip when I finally pull away and rests his forehead against mine.
"What are you doing to me?” The words are whispered through ragged breath.
"You started it," I tease before deciding that the two of us should end the night on a positive note. Being with him just feels so natural.
I take a step back, allowing an uncomfortable space to form between the two of us. Being this far away from him feels wrong. He tries to stop me, but I shake my head. We both need time to sit with the events of the night before moving forward .
"If you want a second date, you have my number. Goodnight, Nix," I say, turning to head back to the car before I have the chance to change my mind.