CHAPTER ONE #2
The sound of Owen’s happy voice drifted through the cabin. “More cookies in the batter, Dex!”
A low, rumbling laugh sounded. “Any more cookies and you’re going to turn into the Cookie Monster.”
Tipping my sunglasses to the top of my head, I made my way into the kitchen and toward those joyful sounds. Though I often felt like I was on the outside looking in, but it helped to know that the people I loved most had found happiness.
Owen beamed over at Dex from his spot atop a stool, where he was helping with some sort of cooking project. “I’m down with being a cookie monster.”
Dex’s gaze flicked to me from behind his tortoiseshell-framed glasses. It didn’t stay long, but I knew he registered everything about me in those brief moments, from my wet hair to the dark circles under my eyes. “Morning, Nova.”
I forced a smile again and hated myself for it a little more.
Dex had been nothing but nice to me. More than nice.
He’d been kind and understanding. He never got too close—always gave me a wide berth.
He’d welcomed me into the house he shared with Brae without a thought.
And he eased Brae as much as possible, given the situation.
It wasn’t just him, either. It was his whole family. The Archer brothers and their great-uncle, Waylon, had pitched in more than was expected. One brother in particular.
Kol.
The second eldest of the bunch had been the one to find me that day. The one I’d learned had kept looking, even though every law enforcement officer thought I was dead. He’d kept searching because something hadn’t sat right with him. He’d been the one to save me—in more ways than one.
“Morning,” I finally forced out. My voice still sounded a bit rusty, as if I’d taken up smoking while being held captive.
Owen grinned at me. “Supernova. We’re making cookies and cream strawberry pancakes. They’re my favorite! Have you ever had them before?”
My smile came a little easier then, felt a little more real. It always did with Owen. Because he was the coolest kid around. “I haven’t, but—”
“I’ve got a green smoothie and scrambled eggs for you,” Brae hurried to say as she moved around me in the kitchen, careful not to come close to touching me.
No one ever touched me now.
My mouth pursed as I tried to hold back the words I wanted to spew. Instead, I simply said, “I think I’ll do the pancakes.” My gaze flicked to Dex. “If there’s enough.”
He shot me a grin, even if it was a little strained. “There’s a mountain here. I’d love some help demolishing them.”
“But the doctor said you should focus on nutrient-rich foods and nothing too heavy—”
“Hellion,” Dex said softly, giving my best friend a gentle-yet-pointed look.
A muscle fluttered in Brae’s cheek. “I just want her to follow the doctor’s instructions and get back to full strength. A green smoothie and scrambled eggs are healthier options, and—”
“Strawberries are super healthy,” Owen pointed out helpfully.
I’d made the mistake of letting Brae stay during my final doctor’s visit at the rehabilitation center.
She’d taken notes like she was about to be grilled on every piece of information.
Now, she wouldn’t let me bend a single guideline.
So much so that I’d even taken to hiding my favorite wild berry Skittles in my bedroom.
“B,” I said quietly. “I can handle my meals. And I don’t think having pancakes is going to send me hurtling backward.”
“But—”
“Pancake party, it is,” Dex said, cutting Brae off again.
She sent him a look that had more guilt swirling inside me. The last thing I needed was the weight of knowing I was putting a strain on my best friend’s relationship.
Owen started sing-chanting, “pancake party,” over and over.
“I’m just gonna shower real quick.” I turned and hustled out of the kitchen before Brae could ask if I needed help.
I knew she meant well, but the constant micromanaging was stifling. Some days, it felt like there wasn’t a single moment when there wasn’t eyes on me, no time when I didn’t have to keep my guard up.
Except when I went flying. When the adrenaline poured through my system and the freezing-cold water reminded me that I could breathe. That I was alive. Just like Kol’s words promised.
Slipping into my bedroom, I closed the door behind me and tried to settle.
It didn’t work. I could hear Dex’s and Brae’s muted words in the other room, feel the strain in them.
The walls seemed like they were closing in on me.
All the belongings that had once been mine but now felt like a stranger’s were strangling me.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to let loose one so loud it would tear down the forest and break the sound barrier. But I didn’t.
I swallowed it all down and just leaned against the door.
A flash of something flared in my mind: hands around my throat. Squeezing. Cutting off my air. Making dark spots dance in front of my vision.
“No one’s even looking for you. You’re so forgettable, they don’t even care.”
A wave of dizziness swept through me as I struggled to keep my balance. I couldn’t breathe. Everything was too tight. Too close.
I tore at my clothes, but they stuck to my skin, the wet material feeling like suffocating cement.
I clawed, nails raking over my flesh until the T-shirt slapped against the wood floor.
I fitfully yanked at my bathing suit top.
The straps and ties were too complicated for my brain to process, so I tore at it until something snapped and it fell to the floor.
My chest heaved, breaths coming in short pants as everything burned. “You’re … breathing … you’re … alive …”
But I didn’t believe the words this time. They didn’t feel true.
The only thing I could feel was those hands around my throat. I just didn’t know if it was a nightmare or a memory. But maybe it didn’t matter. Because some days, it felt like I was walking through a living nightmare anyway.