CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Nova
ISTARED UP AT THE CEILING, THROUGH THE SKYLIGHT KOL had cut into the roof so I could always see the sky. It was as if he’d somehow known I would need it after having been robbed of it for so long. But right now, it wasn’t enough. Not even as the first hints of daylight crept across the space.
Everything in me was twitchy. My skin felt tight. My body was hot. And it was more than anxiety pumping through my system. It was Kol.
“I need to get laid,” I muttered, throwing off my covers.
I needed that connection, that heat. The feeling of being spent that only came from losing yourself in another person. I’d always chosen my partners carefully. It wasn’t always because I was in love. But there was always a deep respect.
I didn’t know how I was supposed to find that now, when my head was a supremely messed-up place and the only person I’d managed physical touch with was my landlord/the special agent of my kidnapping case. But I needed to make it happen. Because I’d dreamed about a man’s forearms last night.
Forearms.
Maybe it was because I’d watched said forearms flex as he ate pie and then chased his daughter around, throwing her in the air. And God, there’d been something about that, too. The fact that he was giving Skylar the kind of childhood I’d only ever dreamed of.
“Stop it.” I hissed out the words in warning as I crossed to the closet and pulled on some workout leggings and a tank.
I needed to burn out whatever was eating at me.
Because Kol was a no-go for so many reasons.
Our lives were too intertwined, and I was sure his higher-ups wouldn’t love our involvement.
To say it was complicated would be a huge understatement.
I glanced at the yoga mat in the corner but knew that wouldn’t do. I needed cliff jumping, but I was a good ten miles from my usual spot. My muscles twitched with the need to move, invisible claws shredding my insides.
The world swirled around me as a wave of dizziness hit, but I fought it off and slipped my feet into some sneakers.
I grabbed my keys with the adorable angry cat key chain and the mini pepper spray.
The moment my feet hit the gravel, I started running.
The cold air swirled around me, telling me I should’ve grabbed a sweatshirt, but I couldn’t go back now.
The anxiety might win if I did. So I kept on running.
I’d never been a runner in my past life. The idea of embarking on anything other than a walk for fun was beyond me. But the second my muscles started to burn, I knew this was exactly what I needed.
I followed the road as far as it went, passing alpacas and goats and even some yaks. The sun crested over the horizon, bathing the land around me in a peachy-pink glow. Even though my lungs ached, I felt more at peace than I had since Kol had held me.
Pushing my legs harder, my chest heaved. I climbed the hill in my path, forcing myself to maintain my pace. But by the time I got to the top, my legs nearly gave out. I bent over, barely able to take in the house that had come into view.
Large and rambling, constructed from wood so dark I wasn’t sure if it was black or brown. And the siding itself looked rough, as if aged by wind and weather. The image before me blurred, and I bent over, trying to catch my breath.
I sucked in air, but the inhale was painful, as if the breath itself were composed of shards of ice.
The sound of a screen door slapping against the frame had me straightening, my vision still a little blurry. A hulking form I didn’t recognize stalked down the steps of the front porch, and I stumbled back a step.
Panic swirled, my breaths coming faster as another wave of dizziness hit.
The moment the man recognized the move, the fear behind it, he stilled. Frozen as if some magic ice machine had zapped him.
It was just enough for me to put the pieces together. Dark hair. The same hazel eyes as the other Archer brothers. But his were just a little darker than the rest.
Orion.
It had to be.
I struggled for composure. To get my body to believe I wasn’t in any danger. But it wasn’t quite past the whole flight-fight-or-freeze thing. And apparently, it had chosen freeze.
Orion lifted a hand, holding up one finger as if telling me to wait.
I winced as he turned and headed back into the house because I had a feeling he might be texting Kol. The last thing I wanted was for my landlord to know that I’d had a freak-out—I didn’t want anyone to know but especially not him.
A second later, Orion reemerged with something in his hands—a bottle with orange liquid. He stopped a good twenty feet from me and tossed the bottle.
I somehow managed to catch it, despite my lack of experience in team sports of any kind. It took me a second to recognize the Gatorade label.
Orion sighed and made a drinking motion as if annoyed that I was a moron.
Cracking the seal, I took a sip and then a longer drink. The sweetness played over my tongue as the liquid coursed through my system. In a matter of seconds, I’d downed half the bottle.
Orion nodded as if satisfied.
“Thank you,” I croaked.
He simply pointed in the direction I’d come from and glared.
I guessed we weren’t at bestie status quite yet.
Nodding, I started walking back but turned. “Sorry about infringing on your home. I didn’t know this was where you lived.” Kol had mentioned that I needed to steer clear, but I’d never gone this deep onto ranch land before.
Something passed over Orion’s expression, but it was gone so fast I couldn’t identify it. And he didn’t respond in any way.
I watched him for one more moment and then turned back in the direction of Kol’s house. I was sure Orion was watching to make sure I really left, and I didn’t blame him. Sipping the Gatorade as I went, I finally took stock of how far I’d run. Several miles, at least.
My muscles would hate me later today. Especially since I had to work a full shift. Shit.
Still, I took my time getting back. I tried to soak in every bit of the beauty surrounding me. The fall sun was different than it was in the summer, more golden somehow. And it painted everything in different hues.
As Kol’s house came into view, I saw someone step out onto the back deck. I instantly knew it was him, even before I could clearly see his features or clothing. It was as if my whole body could recognize him, even in the dark.
He didn’t move as I got closer and closer. There was no silent judgment like I received from Brae when I returned from my “swims,” but there was concern.
I crossed the back lawn and climbed the steps with trembling legs.
“Tell me you took your phone,” he said, his voice low.
I pulled it from the pocket of my leggings. “Right here, Boss.” I held up my key ring. “Along with adorable angry cat and Mr. Pepper Spray.”
Kol’s brow quirked—not quite a smile, but like he was fighting one off. “Adorable angry cat?”
I flipped to the key chain. “Come on, you can’t tell me that’s not the perfect name for this.”
“Let’s focus on the fact that it could take someone’s eye out.”
“Hence the angry,” I said exasperatedly.
Kol just shook his head, his gaze sweeping over my form, catching in different places. My face. My neck. Where my tank rode up just a fraction. He cleared his throat. “Couldn’t sleep?”
I shrugged. “Sleep rarely comes easy. But that’s okay.”
“So you went running.”
I nodded.
Kol was quiet for a long moment. “Can we do something?”
My mind did not go to G-rated places at the question. I shoved the images down. Damn, those slutty forearms. “Depends, Boss. If the something is eating pancakes, I’m in. If it’s hike Mount Kilimanjaro, I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass. I’m out of shape.”
His lips twitched as he pulled his phone from his pocket. Opening an app, he showed it to me: Find My Phone. “Can we share locations?”
My throat went dry. There was something about him not just asking for my location but also sharing his. As if the request for safety and security went both ways.
But it was more. There were times when the darkness still swirled around me, when I worried I’d get lost again. That I’d disappear, and no one would be able to find me. But now, Kol would know. He’d be able to find me wherever I was.
I swallowed hard. “You know what this will mean, don’t you?”
Kol simply stared back at me, waiting.
“I’ll know every time you’re near the Grove Griddle, and I’m gonna make you bring me home pie.”
One corner of his mouth kicked up. “I think you have an addiction.”
“And no interest in a cure,” I shot back.
“Supernova!” Skylar called from the open door. “Come have breakfast with us.”
I hesitated for a moment, but Kol cut into the silence. “Yeah, Supernova. Have breakfast with us.”
My gaze flicked down to my wrists. “Just let me grab my sweatshirt and I’ll be back.”
I jogged for the back door to the garage and my apartment. Opening it, I took the steps two at a time, even though my legs were mad about it. As I reached the top, my phone flashed. A text.
Brae:
I just wanted to give you a heads-up so you’re not blindsided at work.
There was a link with an article. It was a step in the right direction that Brae was trying to equip me instead of protect me, but the headline still took me out at the knees.
A Legacy of Horror: The Real Nova Monroe Story by Reese Gatlin.
Suddenly, I wasn’t hungry for breakfast at all.