CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Nova
ISPUN AROUND, brAMBLES TEARING AT THE SKIN ON MY arms as the voices got louder, angrier. Taunting laughter as the forest closed in around me.
“Lost forever.”
And then it wasn’t just the trees. I could feel walls closing in. I was back there. In the dark. Nothing but the dark. The shackle digging into my ankle. My neck aching. My throat raw.
“No one cares. No one will miss you.”
Pressure built behind my eyes, burning. The memory of that door in the ceiling opening. The sunlight flickering in. Hurting my eyes. The sound of thumping footsteps on metal stairs.
“Go ahead and scream. No one will hear.”
And I had screamed. I remembered now. I’d screamed and screamed and screamed. Until my throat was raw. Until … another memory slammed into me.
The man lunged forward, gripping me by the throat. “I’m the one in control. I decide if you live or die. I decide if you breathe.”
My air supply cut off, and panic shot through me like an electric shock. I clawed at his arms, desperate for just a tiny respite, enough for the smallest breath. It didn’t come.
I raked my nails against the man’s forearms, but he only laughed. A sick sort of sound. As if he liked the pain.
His head tipped back as he cackled, and I could make out his features then, the light from the door illuminating him. He was letting me see him. Brown hair with hints of red. Green eyes. But there was a deadness to them. And the fact that he didn’t care that I saw only meant one thing …
I was going to die.
Those hands tightened their grip as he brought his face closer to mine. “No one cares about you but me. No one’s looking for you. Everyone is grateful you’re gone.”
And then the darkness closed in around me.
I blinked against the too-bright sun, as if remembering the dark made the light hurt more. A wave of dizziness hit me, and I pressed a palm against a tree, trying to steady myself. Memories of Kol teaching me to let the tree calm me flooded my mind.
The way he’d stepped in when I needed him, just like always. How he’d slipped off his boots right there behind the bar, not caring if someone found it odd—not if what he was doing was helping me. And he stood with me, making the panic subside.
Tears stung my eyes. All I wanted was him. My safe place.
But I’d driven him away. I wouldn’t blame him for not looking. Not after I yelled at him and took off. It was so stupid. Pushing him away because … what? He cared?
“No one will ever find you. You’re mine now.”
I stumbled, trying to keep myself upright. Blood stained the knees of my leggings, and there was a tear down the shin of one of them.
“Nova!”
Everything in me stilled as I whirled around. It sounded like Kol. Tears stung my eyes, spilling over for the first time in forever. I wanted him so badly, my mind was conjuring his voice. Just like it always did. But I’d driven that voice away.
The world in front of me blurred, nothing but light and shapes and colors.
I stumbled again, not able to discern what was in front of me. It was like I was losing my vision all over again. Terror dug its icy claws deep into me.
And then someone was there. Someone taking my arms.
I screamed, fighting the figure as another wave of dizziness hit. I wouldn’t let him take me, not again.
“It’s me, Phoenix. It’s Kol.”
I kept right on fighting. “It’s not. It’s not you. I drove you away.”
“Fuck,” the voice muttered.
Something about the curse seemed familiar. It was my mind playing tricks on me. Not Kol. Not my safe space.
“It’s me. Phoenix. Please, hear me.” He moved in closer, his voice getting stronger. “Feel me.” Knuckles slid across my cheek, but I batted them away, unsure if it was the enemy or Kol. “Trust me.”
It was the desperation in the voice that made me pause, going still just long enough for rough hands to cup my cheeks. “I’m lost,” I croaked.
“No, you’re not. You’re found,” the voice rasped. “I’ll always find you, remember? I’ll always come for you.”
I blinked through the blur of tears and light, trying to see the person in front of me. Dark hair and scruff. Hazel eyes, both light and dark, swirling. “Kol?”
“That’s right. I’m right here, baby. I’ve got you.”
I collapsed against him, and he hauled me into his arms as he lowered himself to the forest floor, cradling me. His heart hammered against my cheek as I curled into a ball, wanting nothing more than to disappear into him.
“Did he just call her baby?” a new voice asked. Some part of my brain recognized it as Maverick’s, but I couldn’t get myself to look.
I shoved myself deeper into Kol’s hold as he rocked me. He held me to him as if he could shield me from every ounce of pain. From every stare and question. From everything that had happened in the past and might happen in the future.
“He’s touching her,” Brae said almost reverently. “How is he touching her?”
Kol only continued to rock me. My hands fisted in his shirts. One grabbed onto the worn cotton of a tee. The other wrapped around soft flannel. That one reminded me of last night. Of everything we’d shared. I rubbed my cheek against it, trying to escape into that memory.
“What the hell is happening?” Brae demanded. “What’s going on?”
“Breathe, Hellion,” Dex said quietly. “I think you know.”
I could just make out the people surrounding us, even if I didn’t want to see.
“I knew this was coming,” Wylder said quietly. His words were free of judgment, but I thought I heard concern there.
Maverick let out a grunt. “Of course, you did. Psychic mind games.”
“Enough.” Kol’s voice cracked out over my head. “None of that matters right now. What matters is Nova. I need to get her back to my truck and home.”
“Maybe we should take her to the hospital,” Brae said softly.
My hands jerked, tightening around Kol’s shirts as if someone might rip me away at any moment. “No,” I croaked. “No hospitals.”
“No hospitals,” Kol echoed, trying to calm me. “I’m gonna take care of you. Okay, Phoenix? I’ve got you.”
And for the first time since I’d been taken, I believed.