CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
Kol
IWATCHED AS THEY PLAYED: SKYLAR, OWEN, brAE, AND Nova.
Their outfits were completely ridiculous, a mix of superhero fare, combat gear, princess costumes, and what I was pretty sure was a milking bucket for one of the goats that was currently being used as a helmet.
Nova had even added a full ballgown to her repertoire.
But seeing them like this? It helped. It also made the idea of a monster hunting and killing women seem impossible. How could there be that kind of evil when there was this kind of light?
“I want to ask how you’re doing, but I know that’s a completely ridiculous question,” Dex said from his spot next to me on the deck steps, where he was sipping one of those energy drinks that likely corroded his insides.
Usually, on a day like today, where we could enjoy the last bit of fall warmth, we’d crack a beer. Not today. Neither of us. Because we needed to be on alert from now until this thing was over. Nothing would be consumed that could dull our senses.
“I love her,” I rasped. “I love her, and I don’t know how to keep her safe. That absolutely kills me.”
“We keep her safe together,” Dex vowed. And he’d already lived up to that promise. He’d spent the last two hours beefing up my security system and checking everything that was already in place.
“Thank you. For doing this. For being here.”
Dex clamped a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “You did the same for me. You walked with me in the darkness and helped me find the other side.”
“I’ll do it anytime you need me.”
“I know. And we’re damn lucky that we have that from all our brothers.”
Dex was right. Even though we each had different strengths and capacities, we all showed up. Even Orion.
As if I’d conjured him by thinking his name, our most surly brother rounded the house, carrying something.
“Is that a cake dish?” Dex asked, struggling to keep the laughter from his tone.
“Pretty sure it is,” I muttered.
“And he’s bringing it in person. One might almost think he likes Nova.”
Orion set it on the corner of the deck, beginning to sign. “For Nova. I’m working on a new map. Trying to find where he was keeping Heidi.”
“Thank you,” I said, making the sign with it.
Orion’s gaze, the one just a few shades darker than the rest of ours, surveyed the chaos on the back lawn. He watched as the kids screamed and howled with laughter, as Brae dove for Owen and tickled his sides.
“I got you,” Nova yelled, lifting Sky into the air and then landing her on the dog pile of Owen and Brae.
“Death by squish,” Owen called, adding in some truly gruesome sound effects.
I thought I saw a hint of a smile on Orion’s face. Only for a moment. And then it was back to stoic nothingness. He turned back to me, lifting his hands again. “Watch her back. She’s good for you.”
“Jesus,” Dex muttered, signing as he spoke. “That might as well be Rion giving you the family heirloom ring.”
We all made an effort to sign. Anything to make Orion feel less different, less other.
Orion flipped him off, and it only made Dex laugh.
“Mr. Orion! Mr. Orion!” Owen called as he ran over. “I’m learning to talk with my hands. Look!” He raised his hands, moving through signs a little clumsily as he spoke. “Hi. I like your maps. And your cake.” The signing stopped as he took in the plate. “Dude, another chocolate? That’s bussin’.”
Orion frowned.
“He means it’s awesome,” Dex translated.
Orion stared at Owen for a moment and then just nodded before turning to go.
Owen grinned. “I got a nod. That means he likes me.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “You know him well.”
Nova crossed to me, sliding into my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck. “I don’t know, Orion made me cupcakes, so I think I’m his favorite.”
“He made you this full cake, too,” Dex added.
She grinned. “Total favorite status.”
“I could make you cake,” I said, suddenly defensive.
Nova pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. “You could, but have you?”
“Brutal,” Dex said with a grin.
An alert sounded on my phone, and I swiped it off the deck, opening the camera app for the gate.
“Sherri?” Nova asked as if she could feel my tension.
“Yeah.” I hit the open button so my boss could get onto ranch property.
Nova pulled back, searching my face. “You’re sure about this?”
I stared up at her. “I’m sure. I don’t want to have to hide this. I don’t want our beginning to be full of lies.”
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you, too.”
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Sky chanted.
Nova grinned, lowering her face to mine.
I kissed her, not letting it get too deep but taking my time, letting her taste soothe me.
“Siiiiiiiiiick,” Owen moaned. “And not a good sick, Mr. Kol.”
Nova grinned against my mouth. “We win. We grossed the tiny human out.”
I chuckled. “No better victory.”
A door slammed, and Nova straightened, pushing off my lap. “How about afternoon ice cream sundaes?”
The roar of cheers from the two kids and Dex was deafening as they raced into the house with Nova. Brae just shook her head, but as she walked up the steps to follow them inside, her hand dropped to my shoulder.
I looked up at her in question.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
My brows pulled together. “For what?”
“For taking care of my best friend, my sister. For loving her. For making her happy.”
My throat constricted. “She does the same for me.”
“That’s how it should be. But it isn’t always. I love that you two found the good.”
It was the seal of approval from the only family Nova really had. And it meant something.
“Gonna ask her to marry me. When she’s ready, I’m gonna ask her.”
Brae’s mouth curved. “You asking for my permission?”
“Not permission, but a blessing would be nice.”
“You’ve got it, Kol. I don’t think anyone has ever seen her more. Not even me. And that’s a gift, too.”
I swallowed against the lump in my throat. “It is.”
Brae’s hand left my shoulder just as Sherri rounded the house. My boss scanned the landscape in front of us. “Forgot how beautiful it is out here.”
“Not a bad place to sit, that’s for sure,” I said.
She settled next to me on the steps, still looking out at the horizon. “Please tell me you aren’t quitting.”
“I’m not quitting.”
“Thank fuck,” she muttered.
“You know me better than that. This job is in my bones.”
Sherri turned, taking me in. “What is it, then? You don’t usually call me out here for clandestine meetings.”
“Didn’t want to leave Nova,” I admitted.
She stiffened. “Kol …”
“That’s why I called the meeting. I need you to reassign Nova’s case to another senior officer.”
Sherri’s jaw went slack. And I understood why. In my fifteen years with the Forest Service, I’d never once asked for a case to be reassigned.
“I fell in love with her.”
“Well, shit,” Sherri said, letting out a sigh. “I knew there might be a personal connection, but I didn’t go to love. Kol, I don’t think I’ve ever even known you to go on a date.”
I barked out a laugh. “I don’t think I have since high school.”
“Jesus, go big or go home, huh?”
“I guess so.”
Sherri drummed her fingers against her knees. “You’re the best I’ve got.”
“That means something coming from an investigator I admire so much.”
She sent me a perturbed look. “Don’t think that gets you out of me being pissed at you.”
I held up both hands. “Never.”
“How’s Pete doing on the case?”
I stayed silent.
“Damn it, Kol. All my other senior officers have other big cases.”
“Pete’s not ready. Maybe he will be one day. Maybe he won’t. But he needs a senior agent who’s going to respect the case as more than some exciting new adventure.”
“Bloodthirsty,” Sherri mumbled.
“That would be accurate.”
She sighed again. “Can you give me a few more days to shuffle some things? Just make sure you have a second with you on all investigative stuff. Just in case anyone ever calls anything into question. These two cases are at the very least tied together.”
I knew what she meant. I needed to have someone who could back me should this ever go to trial. Because someone was still out there hurting women. Killing them. “Not a problem. Roger’s got his department running better now, and he’s been on top of the Heidi Ingram case.”
“Good,” Sherri said. “We may even be able to let them take over as local primary on Travis Moore with us as support.”
“That works for me.”
Roger was a good investigator and an even better man. He’d take the case seriously and put in his best work.
Sherri leaned back on her palms. “In love, huh?”
I chuckled. “I’m afraid so.”
She whistled. “Last thing I was expecting.”
“You and me both.”
Her lips twitched. “When do I get to meet her?”
“How about now?” I asked. “We’re having afternoon ice cream sundaes.”
Sherri straightened. “I like ice cream.”
I grinned, pushing to my feet and offering her a hand. “Let’s do this.”
As we walked into the chaos of the kitchen, with its mess of chocolate sauce, sprinkles, and whipped cream, I took it all in and really let it land. This was what life was about. Finding happiness amid the heartache and holding tight.
But as I let that land, fear made a home in my chest, too. Because when you had this much good, you had so much more to lose.