9. Twenty-eight
Twenty-eight
Unknown
Hello stalker.
Brooks
I’d say I wasn’t sure if that was a flirty “hello stalker” or a pissed “hello stalker,” but that period is doing the screaming for you.
Unknown
Really? Huh. Guess my phone skipped that update.
Brooks
omg, we’re so donezo, aren’t we?
Yep, you hate us.
Listen, I’m not above bribery. What’s your poison? Cookies? Custard? Hell I’d even try macarons again if that was your price.
Brooks
PLEASE, MYSTERIOUS TEXTRIX. HAVE MERCY UPON A POOR BOY’S SOUL.
Unknown
There is…so much to unpack there.
This is Brooks.
Without a doubt.
Brooks
Price, woman. Name it.
Unknown
Who said you need to bribe us?
Brooks
…Taryn?
Unknown
?
Brooks
brEA?!?!?!?!
Unknown
?
Brooks
*sigh* You want my balls in a pickling jar, don’t you?
Brea
Depends.
Brooks
On?
Brea
You actually any good in the kitchen?
Brooks
…my talents lean more sweet treats. Can’t say I’ve ever seasoned testicles, but, you know, I can follow a recipe.
This went in a ?direction?.
Brea
How about we let Siri redirect us onto the right route.
Brooks
Yes please.
Brea
Hey stalker.
Brooks
Hey gorgeous. You come around here often?
Brea
Oh yes, quite often.
Usually daily.
Brooks
brb gotta go take an ice shower
Brea
No apologies or bribes necessary, Brooks. Not from either of you, anyway.
Though we wouldn’t say no to sweet treats of pretty much any variety…if you need someone to take them off your hands…
Brooks
Done.
Taryn
I bet I can guess whose number this is with a single question.
Unknown
Huh?
Taryn
You know. Question. Those things that have the curly widget at the end. Usually in search of information, confirmation, validation, whathaveyou.
Unknown
Umm I think you have the wrong number.
Taryn
…
OOH OOPS SORRY! Have a magnificent day, kind stranger!
Taryn
[Sent a poll] How do you put your socks/shoes on?
[ ] Sock, sock; shoe, shoe
[ ] Sock, shoe; sock, shoe
[ ] Shoe, shoe; skip the socks
[ ] Sock, sock; skip the shoes
Taryn
This is a graded quiz, so please read carefully.
Unknown
Hello, Taryn.
Taryn
Hello either Brooks or Lin.
Unknown
[x] Sock, shoe; sock, shoe
Taryn
Heehee
Hey Lin.
Lin
Did I pass?
Taryn
Do you not feel a lil silly being all… unbalanced with one foot dressed and the other’s naked?
Lin
Well, Sir Lefty is actually a nudist, so I try to dress him as little as possible.
Taryn
Oh that’s so accommodating of you.
Lin
I try.
Taryn
Hi.
Lin
Hi.
Taryn
So.
Lin
Is this a really cute way of the two of you accepting our dinner invitation, or are you about to make me cry?
Taryn
Aww you’re a cryer? That’s so sweet.
Lin
Taaaarryyyyynnnn…..
Taryn
What if I had a crying kink? You’ve put me in a tough spot here.
On the one hand, yes, we’re meeting you for dinner.
But now I don’t get to imagine you crying??
Lin
You can literally imagine anything you want.
Taryn
Oh yeah?
Lin
Absolutely.
Taryn
*maniacal laughter* Oh you’ve unleashed the beast.
Prepare to be thoroughly debauched….in my mind.
Lin
Just there?
Taryn
You slick devil.
Lin
…
Nah, too easy.
Taryn
Awww cmon! I gave it to you.
Lin
Give it to us Friday night instead.
Taryn
Ugh.
Fine.
;)
Lin
Bye, Taryn.
Taryn
Bye, crybaby.