Chapter Sixteen #2
“I told you I have a past. Just like you do.” Her hand stopped moving, and she looked up at him. “But if you’re asking if I ever shared my mom’s handmade quilts, the ones we had on every bed in the house until she died, with anyone…ever…then no.”
Without stopping to think or talk himself out of what he wanted, Mick bent and touched his lips to hers. Though sweet and brief, it felt like the most intimate kiss they’d shared so far. His heart was entangled in this one, he realized, too late to take it back.
Rachel grabbed the hood strings of his sweatshirt and pulled him to her, drawing him in, giving him no chance to hold back anything.
They dispensed with the jackets, and then he joined her beneath the covers.
Touching. Sampling. Readying. Her hands slid over him everywhere, each of the nerve endings in his skin seeming to reach out to her, craving her touch.
Then just as he was certain he would explode if they didn’t move forward, she flopped back in the pile of covers.
“I don’t, uh, have anything. I can’t take a risk like that. Again.” She blew a stream of breath into her hair. “Why didn’t I think—”
“Don’t worry. I’m a firefighter. We try to be prepared for anything.”
He grabbed his coat from the box where he’d left it, unzipped the inside pocket and pulled three linked packets from it.
She grabbed them from his hand and sat up. “You had this in mind when—”
“No. I didn’t.”
She held up her pinkie, ring finger and middle finger to signify the three condoms.
“One of my friends back in Chicago warned me that a new divorcé should be prepared in case he does something rash.”
Her shoulders appearing to relax, she rolled over and straddled his lap. Then she tore off the first packet at the perforation and ripped it open with her teeth. “Is this irrational?”
Yes. No. He cleared his throat. “Maybe.”
Still, when she held out the open packet to him, he took it and started to unroll.
Wise or not, he wanted her. Not for just today, either, if he were honest with himself.
He couldn’t think about that now. Even if it was too soon for him to consider a relationship when the ink putting a legal end to his last one could still smudge on the paper.
Even if they were the wrong people who met at the wrong time, players in a situation that neither of them chose.
“I guess we’re not breaking one of our rules,” she said. “We’re not in public. It’s not a risky excursion alone. And it’s not tea after the girls’ bedtime.”
“We should have been more specific.” And if they believed that the journey they were taking now wasn’t filled to the brim with risk, they were just fooling themselves.
“Maybe.”
She crouched over him and gave him a long, deep kiss as she brought them fully together. For a few seconds, they lay silently, neither moving nor breathing. No, that was just him.
“Will I regret this?” Rachel spoke the words softly near his ear. “Probably. But right now, I don’t care.”
Mick froze. She was joking, just like they often had these past few days.
If only that could have prevented the knot from forming in his throat.
Rachel must not have noticed as she began to move above him, and he let himself be carried away in the sensation.
She wanted him, and she needed him, he reminded himself.
And everything between them was about to be amazing.
But a question swirled at the back of his mind, blurring the edge of his bliss.
Would he be able to settle for only today?
Was a crazy moment that she’d admitted she would regret enough for him?
* * *
He’d misunderstood. Rachel could see it in his eyes.
The confusion eclipsing passion. The hurt entwined with need.
Only she hadn’t meant it the way he’d heard it.
Not entirely. Sure, tomorrow she would regret this.
They probably both would once the tingles stopped, their pulses slowed and the hum of desires stopped playing in their ears.
But as for today, she was exactly where she wanted to be.
“You know, maybe we should—”
He cut off his own words as he eased his body back, and thumbs that had caressed her skin in mesmerizing brushes stilled.
Emotion squeezed inside her throat. Her fingers gripped his arms tighter. She had to make him understand.
“I want you. I want…this.”
He didn’t speak. Didn’t move.
After waiting a dozen excruciating seconds, she stretched far enough so that she could touch the sides of his face. “Don’t you want—” Though me sat like a rock on her vocal cords, she held it inside, the desperation of it shaming her.
A chuckle rumbled through his body into hers. “I’m pretty sure I can’t deny that part.” He dampened his lips. “But I think we—”
“Don’t think. Please. Just love me.”
He strained to lift up far enough to touch his lips to hers. Then he slid his hands to her hips and jerked his shoulder to roll her onto her back. His elbow hit the floor with a thud, the pile of blankets offering little padding.
“Oof.” He winced. “That was supposed to be my smooth move.”
“We’ll pretend it was.” She reached up to rub his sore elbow.
“Gracious of you.”
Mick lowered his mouth again, but there was no rush like before. He rubbed his lips over hers as though he had an overflowing account of time and no way he would rather spend it. Rachel couldn’t help it. She squirmed beneath him, but he only smiled against her lips.
After a long, deep kiss that left them both gasping, he lifted his head and stared straight into her eyes, his lids hooded.
“I’ve been in a bed or two, and even the occasional car, but as for a pile of blankets on a garage floor, well, this is my first time,” he said.
“I’ll be gentle.”
Rachel didn’t get the chance to try. Mick brought them together again and moved with her in earnest. He reached to lace their hands near her shoulders, his mouth leaving hers only long enough to trace kisses down her throat before returning.
Release washed over her, and he joined her while she floated on the waves.
For a few minutes longer, they lay together in silence, his chin resting near her collarbone.
He lifted his upper body and looked down at her. “I don’t know about you, but I’m freezing, and my knees are killing me because I’m not a—”
She held up an index finger him to stop him. “If you make another old guy joke, I’m going to take every single one of these blankets.”
“Fine. You win.” He rolled off her and pulled the top quilt up to his chin.
“We can’t stay out here forever, you know. We’ll either freeze or starve to death.”
“Probably both in the next hour.”
She cuddled close to his shoulder anyway, and he moved his arm so she could settle against his side. With his chest rising and falling next to hers, she closed her eyes and settled in, more content than she’d felt in months. Maybe years.
Then a thought that skimmed through her mind opened her eyes and made her whole body flinch.
It was more than that she’d made a bed for Mick and herself with her mother’s precious quilts.
The ones that her dad couldn’t bear to keep in the house following her death.
Rachel had also asked Mick to love her. Not have sex.
Not have a fun diversion on a Sunday afternoon.
To love her. And whether Mick, as a new divorcé, was prepared for that—whether she was ready to admit she wanted something where emotions and not just bodies were involved—she knew in her heart he’d done just that.