Chapter 24
Claire
The front door lock jiggles, causing me to grab my bat immediately. No one is due back here for a while, which means the conclusion I jump to is that one of Cano’s men found me.
When the door swings open, I don’t hesitate, just like Lex taught me when I was first moved here.
“Dear God, please don’t swing that bat again. My hand still is killing me,” Adam says from behind the still closed door.
“Holy hell, you scared me … again. What are you doing back here?” I rush to open the door. The visual of his hand in a brace makes me cringe.
“I’m back here until we need to move you or the case is closed.” The goofy smile on his face is unlike anything I’ve ever seen from him.
“What do you mean you’re back here?” I usher him in, where he drops off a couple of larger bags.
“I mean, I’m staying with you. For protection, of course. And to get to know you as Claire, not Nova. And for the baby. I don’t want to miss anything else with the baby.”
“And this was your team’s decision?” I ask cautiously.
“Truth?” He asks, and I nod. “It was my boss’s. I haven’t been super productive without you, so he thought it would be a good idea for me to work where you are. It helps that I’ll have access to you if we need any identification as well. It’s not all self-centered.”
“It’s a little self-centered.” I smirk.
“Whatever. Can you honestly say that you’re sad to have some company? And sue me for wanting to go to all the appointments with you and learning all things baby.”
“Of course not. I’m two seconds away from creating voices in my head and creating some drama just for my entertainment. And you’re very adorable with all this baby stuff,” I mumble.
“See, I’m saving you from a life filled with multiple personalities, who will inevitably pick on all your perceived weaknesses and misery, while you sit here with nothing else to do.”
“Wow, that really escalated.”
“I’m bad at this.” He sighs, running his hand through his hair.
“Bad at what exactly?”
“Talking to you. Getting to know you as Claire. Flirting. Take your pick.”
“This is flirting?” My eyebrows shoot up.
“See?” He holds his hands out. “Very, very bad at this.”
“So what’s the plan, other than keeping my sanity?”
“Talk. Learn about each other. Plan for this kid. Whatever you want,” he offers. There’s a genuineness in not only his words, but also his eyes that tell me we could do anything I wanted and he would make it happen.
The difference between Adam and Chris is like night and day if you’re really looking.
I have a feeling that a lot of what I know about him is true to some extent, but this version of him, the real version, is something I’m completely unprepared for.
And his love for this baby already? How am I supposed to resist him?
“But I’m still stuck here, correct? You’re able to leave and go to the city, but I’m stuck in this town?” The thought sucks the wind out of my sails.
Sure, having Adam for company isn’t a hardship, but it’s still a prison. He can come and go, but I’m just … trapped. I know it’s mostly my fault. I could go out downtown and meet everyone, but I just … can’t.
“It won’t be forever.” He at least has the decency to look guilty.
“But no one knows exactly how long.” I sigh and plop onto the couch.
“Okay …” He sits next to me. “What if we work on the problem? What if you and I look into all this Cano shit and see if we can find anything else? Some magic ticket that will give us all the answers?”
“That’s too optimistic for my blood,” I grump.
“Mine too.” He winces. “But would it hurt to look over things? We’ve gotten a bunch of new information, and I can make sure I clear it with Woodcroft so it’s all on the up and up.”
“So, I’ll be working for free.” I try to hide my grin as his face drops.
“No! I can talk to him about that too,” Adam rushes.
“I was just kidding. I don’t have anything else to do since the blog is pretty self-sustaining at the moment, so might as well work on it.”
“Man, I’m cashing out on all accounts with you, aren’t I?”
“Nah, I’m just not great at people-ing anymore.
It’s not you. I don’t really know how to just be Claire anymore, so I deflect and use sarcasm to throw you off.
” Did I mention I’ve had a ton of time to think about every single aspect of my life?
Yeah, being self-aware isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
“I … don’t know how to respond to that.”
“Join the club.” I sigh. “Okay, fill me in.”
“Maybe we should just take the day. Eat, talk, and get more comfortable around each other.”
“That’s probably wise.” I tilt my head to look at him. “You can totally tell me when I’m being a menace. The only person I’ve had regular contact with in six months is Lex, and he doesn’t really talk about anything other than looking at pictures.”
“You’re not being a menace. You’re trying to navigate an impossible situation. I’m completely fine if you take that out on me. It’s my fault to begin with.”
“Oh, don’t be such a martyr. I had choices. I made them. Now I get to live with what those choices mean. And the baby was a freak accident. I took my pill religiously, but we’re the lucky ones in the percentage when it fails.”
We stare at each other, at a loss for words, as the real word slams into us. His first visit was somehow a mirage. I was blinded by actually seeing him again. The real world is much less forgiving than a brief get-together where we can act like everything will magically work out.
“How did we get here?” Adam whispers.
“I wish I could answer that. It feels like I’ve lived a thousand years in the last year and a half.
Yet I don’t even know who I am anymore. I have no prospects, no real job, no home, and a guy I really liked living with me, but I don’t even know the real him.
Did I mention I’m having his baby?” I ramble.
“Liked?”
“Did you not hear the part where I don’t know you as Adam?” I give him a small smile.
“You know me far better than almost anyone.”
I wrap my arms around my knees as I bring them up to my chest—as much as I can with my belly in the way. “I just wish I could believe that. Maybe someday soon.”
There’s a gleam in his eyes that makes it feel like he’s taking my words as a challenge, and damn if I’m not eager to see what that looks like.
“Alright, catch me up.” I sit up a little straighter, with renewed motivation to take down what’s left of Cano’s crew.
Many hours later, I jolt up with a shock.
“Shit, sorry,” Adam whispers. “I was just trying to cover you up.”
“I fell asleep again?” I ask, confused. Sleep has been … hard since Cano’s death. Nightmares plague me, but I refuse to acknowledge it’s an issue. Since I’ve hit my second trimester, though, I sleep all the fucking time.
“Out cold for two hours.” He kneels down beside me. “I was just going to grab some extra blankets and crash on the floor. Go back to sleep.”
“Oh my God, no. Take the bed with me.” I stare at him in horror.
“Scoot. I need to be between you and the door.” His voice never rises higher than a whisper, lulling me into a feeling of safety I haven’t felt since before Charie died.
There are so many things I want to say to Adam, so many things I want to know. But sleep takes over before I can whisper a word.
There will be time to talk, and time to get answers.
Tonight is a night for catching up on some much-needed rest.
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll be less jaded.