18. Caroline
18
CAROLINE
L ast night was the absolute best time of my life––bar none. I have no doubts that there will never be anything that could ever top it. Brock is an amazing, giving, thoughtful, tender, and passionate lover. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to lose my virginity. My long wait was definitely worth it for that mind-blowing experience.
But today is a new day. It’s time to face the harsh reality of my life. I can’t be the team’s doctor and continue to sleep with Brock. It isn’t professional or ethical, and it simply isn’t me. I’m not a natural rule breaker––never have been and never will be.
The obvious solution is to give up my gig as the team’s physician, but this job provides the vast majority of my income. Seeing a few patients on the side and working as a mermaid-for-hire won’t earn enough money for me to live on––even if I majorly cut back my expenses.
Besides, I’m sure Brock was relieved to find me gone this morning. Hockey players aren’t exactly known for their desire to be in lasting, monogamous relationships.
My early departure saved him from having to come up with an excuse to get me to leave. That awkward morning-after discussion where he would have to break the news to me that our magnificent time together was a one-night stand is not something either of us would have enjoyed.
This man is not the long-term relationship type. I knew that going in to our tryst, so it’s not like I can blame him for it. I truly only have myself to blame for any of this mess. So, it’s up to me to get us out of it. I’ll force myself to act natural and professional around Brock, as if he is any other patient.
It will be hard, but I can do it–– I am enough. My mind is brilliant, and I am worthy. My mantra falls especially flat today because, despite how much I’d love to believe those words, I’m truly not feeling like I possess any of these qualities right now.
I get to work even earlier than normal. I’m jittery and jumpy as the players start trickling in for practice.
This first time seeing Brock after our night together will be pivotal to our relationship going forward. If it is uncomfortable, things are sure to remain strained between us for a long while. But if we can somehow manage to be civil and somewhat normal with each other, it will likely go a long way toward forging a tentative, if slightly awkward, friendship with each other.
My frazzled nerves are going to make any semblance of normalcy between us practically impossible, but I’m determined to do my best to act unbothered. I wish I could don the sparkly tail and shiny wig that bring out my confident and bubbly mermaid persona, but in this environment, the camouflage of my medical lab coat will have to suffice.
All of my good intentions sail right out the window when Brock breezes into the training room. I struggle to breathe as if he somehow consumes all of the oxygen in the large room, even though I know that can’t possibly be the case.
Although I don’t want to, I stare at him as he approaches. He looks as cocky and self-assured as ever, and he is making direct, unflinching eye contact with me.
When he gets close enough to only be heard by me, he murmurs, “I missed you this morning, Penny Killer.”
His casual mention of our rendezvous, combined with that ridiculously cute pet name, causes the already strained air to clog in my lungs.
When I cough in surprise, he pats my back. Just that simple touch is enough to have my entire being completely focused on the physical connection between us.
He leaves his palm on my shoulder for an extended moment. Warmth emanates across my shoulder blade and down my spine, even though my silk shirt and white lab coat separate us from having skin-to-skin contact.
I’m definitely too attached to this man, and I need to put a stop to it right now. Summoning every bit of my strength, I step away from him and his delectable touch.
Doing my best to ignore the surprised, hurt look that immediately arises on his face, I say in a clipped, all-business tone, “Good Morning, Brock. How much does your head injury hurt on a scale of 1 to 10 today?”
My attempt to be brisk and professional clearly takes him aback because he shakes his head and looks at me as if I’ve just dumped a bucket of mud over his head.
After a long pause, he says loud enough for the other players in the room to hear, “It’s down around a 3 today, Doc. You know my noggin is as tough as they come.”
Stepping closer, he says for my ears only, “So, that’s how we’re going to play it? Distant and cold at work, and then wild and insatiable at night? I’m into it.”
He waggles his eyebrows suggestively at me, and it’s all I can do to keep from giggling like a schoolgirl. Instead, I say in a hushed tone, “We’re not playing at all. Last night was obviously a big mistake, so we need to just move on and forget all about it.”
“Forget about it?” He sounds completely bewildered by the suggestion that I thought would make his day.
Softening my harsh tone, I remind him, “This will make both of our lives easier.”
“Not mine,” he answers immediately. “Is this truly what you want?”
Before I have a chance to respond, Lilian, the executive assistant from upstairs saunters into the room with even more confidence than Sparkly Pacifica displays in the water. The other players’ gazes travel to the tall and curvy, blond bombshell.
Even though he clearly belongs with someone more like Lilian than me, Brock keeps his eyes purposely trained on me.
He’s obviously awaiting a response to his question, but Lilian puts a stop to my intention to answer in the affirmative by saying in her breathy, high-pitched voice, “Dr. Wilson, Benny would like to see you upstairs right away.”
The men, other than Brock, let out a collective “Ahhhm,” sound as if I am in sixth grade being sent to the principal’s office, rather than a grown woman being summoned by the team’s owner.
Since the big man upstairs is not known for his patience, I quickly follow the other woman out to the elevator. As it whisks us up to the top floor, I can’t help but wonder what this could possibly be about. Unfortunately, I’ve never heard of anyone being called upstairs for good news.