Chapter 9
Gideon ate his dinner as quietly as possible in the wingback chair beside the sofa where his wife lay sleeping. Eva had fallen asleep with the television on, a throw blanket pulled over her bare legs, both hands tucked beneath her chin as she slept on her side. Her face was scrubbed clean—he could see the smattering of freckles on her nose—and her voluptuous figure was draped in one of his t-shirts.
Lucky sat at his feet, hoping for a bite of the steak he’d cut into pieces in the kitchen to keep the noise down, but there was a circular imprint in the blanket by Eva’s tummy that told him the beagle had previously been curled up with his mom.
Being the early riser in their marriage, Gideon spent time every morning just watching over Eva as she dreamed. It was a privilege he never took for granted, the joy of watching her eyes blink open and then focus on him. There had been a time when having someone share his life seemed impossible. He’d never dwelled on being alone, but he had been. Intrinsically so.
But the moment he’d first spotted Eva outside the Crossfire Building, he’d felt a deep, almost primordial recognition. She was a stranger then, but he somehow knew that she carried the missing pieces of his heart and soul inside her. He would never admit to being superstitious, even though he required a specific pen to sign his name, but he believed Eva had been his from time immemorial and would always be his. He’d learned to trust that feeling, to believe that nothing could separate them. The fears he’d once harbored about losing her had been put to rest long ago… It was irrational to have those fears again now.
He set the plate on the floor, and Lucky made short work of the remaining chunks of steak, his tail wagging with joy.
Gideon clasped his hands behind his head and leaned back in the chair.
Not that Eva would ever leave him by choice. But reviewing the ominous notes had reminded him that there were those who would take Eva from him, given the chance. His wife was his only vulnerability, and he couldn’t hide that when he looked at her or spoke about her.
How could he have grown complacent about the risks? He, of all people, knew how dangerous their enemies were. Once it had been made irrefutably clear that Eva’s safety could only be assured if her stalker and rapist were dead, Gideon had planned and carried out Nathan Barker’s execution himself.
Watching her now, he accepted that easing back on their security wasn’t an option, especially when the men he entrusted with their lives didn't recommend it. He and Eva would just have to talk it out. His wife was a reasonable woman; she would see the necessity of it and understand that while danger was ever present, it was being managed, and her safety was assured.
Gideon heard her breathing change and watched her twitch as consciousness returned to her.
A moment later, she blinked rapidly, then smiled sleepily at him. “Hey, baby. I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Lucky knew you were sleeping and stayed quiet, didn’t you, boy?” He rewarded him with a quick rubdown.
Eva yawned, her back arching as she stretched. “What time is it?”
“Almost eight.”
“You got home late. Did taking over my meetings bog you down?”
He shook his head. “I met with Ireland after hours.”
“Did you?” Her smile was like the sun.
He was so relieved to see her genuinely happy that he decided to delay the discussions about their security and Ireland’s power move. Eva’s voice had been in the forefront of his mind while he smiled through Ireland’s excitement, knowing his wife would caution him against being heavy-handed. But he didn’t see the harm in digging a little deeper into the fiscal fitness of Vidal Records, and so he would.
Eva sat up, her blond hair a sexy tousled mess. She took him in, noting he wore only black silk pajama pants. His hair was still damp from the brief shower he’d taken before seeing to dinner. “I was going to cook that steak for you.”
“It’s the thought that counts.” He stood to go into the kitchen. “Want anything?”
“I’m good. God, I’m tired. As soon as I suck you off, I’m passing out.”
Gideon paused midstep, his pulse accelerating. “Come again?”
Her slumberous eyes held wicked amusement. “Okay, okay. I’ll suck you off twice if you insist. I’ve been thinking about it since we took that moment for a hug. I wanted to drop to my knees, unzip you, and make you come in my mouth. You know I love it when I open your fly to get to your delicious cock, but you’re otherwise dressed from head to toe. The idea that if someone saw you from behind, they’d never know what I was doing to you.”
Giving up any idea of cleaning up after himself, Gideon set his plate on the kitchen island and pivoted back to the living room. They’d discovered a new kink together early in their relationship: the fantasy of exhibitionism drove them both wild. Their reasons were primitive. He wanted to mark her, own her, possess her, while she loved being claimed by him, dominated by his desires, used for his pleasure—and they wanted everyone to know. That his wife often visualized sex with an audience was even more exciting than anything he could dream up.
He’d found ways to indulge their shared hunger without risk of exposure: two-way mirrors, smoked glass, behind closed doors in crowded spaces. As much as the fantasy excited them, the reality was that he treasured his wife too much to ever expose her vulnerability and passion to anyone.
He scooped Eva up from the couch, and she shrieked with laughter as he carried her down the hallway to their bedroom.
“Keep laughing, and you might find yourself missing work tomorrow, too,” he warned because his wife’s period never stopped them from exploring inventive ways to pleasure each other.
“I’m already missing work tomorrow.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “It’s Aunt Katherine’s birthday.”
There was no hitch in his stride, but her words exploded like a bomb in his mind. Katherine was her mother’s twin, so it was Lauren’s birthday, too. Lauren, the woman he’d known by the alias “Monica,” whose face was so like Eva’s he could envision how his wife would look at the same age. Lauren, who’d been murdered on the red carpet in front of her daughter and husband, with her security detail and Gideon’s nearby.
Maybe Eva’s recent moodiness was tied to the date. Had he missed signs in previous years? How was that possible when every nuance of her emotions resonated so empathically inside him?
Entering the bedroom, he planted a knee on the bed, then the other, setting Eva down gently. Her arms stayed linked around his neck, keeping him with her. She took his mouth, her tongue stroking along his. Her soft moan of enjoyment hardened his dick, and he sank into her embrace.
Everything he needed was in his arms. Tomorrow, they’d work on making her feel safe there.
“Can I just say how terribly disappointed I am that Mr. Smooth her caregivers and doctors were all women.
The distance to the exclusive residential treatment center in Dutchess County was less than two hours, and Eva eagerly anticipated the rare opportunity to slide into the driver’s seat. Commuting had been a daily necessity when she’d lived in San Diego, but she’d dreaded driving then due to the heavy SoCal traffic. Years of being chauffeured everywhere had given her a new perspective on the underappreciated freedom of getting yourself where you wanted to go.
The sun lit the sky when she pulled out of the parking garage onto 5 th Ave. Manhattan was already thrumming with activity despite the early hour. Pedestrians hurried along the sidewalks as cabs weaved between livery cars and private vehicles sporting rideshare app stickers. There were dogs of various sizes and breeds every few feet, their owners taking them out before heading to work for the day.
Her love affair with New York had matured differently from her love for Gideon, which remained fresh and new because they continued to learn and grow together. Some of the things she’d once found romantic about the city were less delightful now, but the love remained, perhaps more solid because she acknowledged the flaws she’d once glossed over.
Turning up the volume on Sabrina Carpenter’s “Bed Chem,” she settled into the thrill of driving the DB12. The powerful car reminded her of Gideon—sleek, sexy, and exhilarating.
As if she’d thought him up, an incoming call interrupted the music.
Hitting the phone button on the steering wheel, she answered, “Good morning, ace.”
“Maybe for you. I woke up without my wife. Where are you?”
The question was unnecessary; he knew where she was. He could check the location sharing app or the tracking signal from the car and had probably done both after realizing she’d left on her own. But he wanted her to tell him, and so she did. “Merging into Highway 1.”
His heavy sigh was like a shout because she knew it meant he was frustrated, likely irritated, but was restraining himself from saying so. “I had Raúl scheduled to drive you.”
Of course he had. Gideon Cross never missed a trick. He would’ve known and anticipated sparing her and her father the discomfort of visiting Katherine together. There were countless reasons she loved her husband more with every passing moment, but his thoughtfulness ranked at the top of the list.
“I wanted to drive.” Eva checked her blind spot, speeding up to change lanes in front of an eighteen-wheeler. “And whether it’s my dad or Raúl, it’s distracting knowing someone’s just sitting around waiting for me. I wanted to spend time with Katherine without looking at the clock.”
“Then I would’ve driven with you. I could’ve gotten some work done in peace.”
Her heart skipped a beat. How lucky she was to have him. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders most days but was always willing to set it aside for her, even if he suffered for it later. “That would’ve set you back days in your schedule, and we’re heading to the beach house this weekend. I want you to relax, knowing that you won’t be buried in work when we get home.”
“Angel…” He paused. “I want you to feel free to do whatever you want. But…”
“…but I can’t do any of it alone,” she finished.
His pause before answering revealed the care he was taking to choose his words. “You have to think of the security team as a second set of eyes, freeing you to focus on whatever makes you happy. We don’t have to be vigilant when they’re with us.”
She wanted to tell him that their security wasn’t a problem, the need for it was, but how could she? She would never change who he was, and she loved their life together. The risks were inherent, and she’d accepted them when she accepted his marriage proposal. She just hadn’t factored in the true cost of being hunted relentlessly, and she had only herself to blame for that.
“I understand,” she said, because that was easiest. “I’m sorry I’m making you worry.”
“I’m sorry you’re feeling hemmed in. I’m working on a fix for that but keeping you safe is of paramount concern to me and always will be.”
An idiot merged into the lane in front of her, then immediately slowed down. Cursing silently, she slid into the next lane and drove around them. “I want you safe, too, so I get where you’re coming from.”
“Let’s not discuss this on the phone, especially while you’re driving. Please be careful. Come home safe, and we’ll discuss it then.”
“Okay, baby. I love you madly. I didn’t mean to upset you, although I knew you wouldn’t be happy with me just taking off.”
His rueful laugh gave her more than a twinge of guilt. “I’m always happy with you. I love you, too, angel mine.”
They ended the call, and Eva finished the drive in relative peace, although the concern in Gideon’s voice haunted her thoughts. Just a few weeks ago, she’d been content. Then, a random chat with a stranger in her doctor’s waiting room and the routine updating of her medical chart had upended everything.
Total number of pregnancies: 2
Number of living children: 0
Pregnancy outcomes/deliveries – Miscarriages: 2
And an unexpected question that hit her hard:
Are you planning to get pregnant in the next year?
She hadn’t known that a medical questionnaire could traumatize her. How had the twelve years of her marriage just flown by? She’d focused on spending a lifetime with Gideon and how many years they would share. But some milestones had expiration dates, and being confronted with that reality on a standardized form suddenly made that achingly clear.
Eva pulled into the familiar long driveway dappled by a canopy of stately old trees flanking each side. The serene drive to the exclusive mental health facility where she’d moved her Aunt Katherine after her mother’s death was her last chance to fortify herself for the hours ahead.
A former mansion of the Gilded Age, the main building still contained many of the trappings of luxurious wealth. Expansive rooms were warmed by fireplaces, framed by elaborate molding and cornices, and filled with elegant furnishings. Cottages were spaced out across the sixty acres of the property, each serving as a private residence for a patient.
Katherine had several full-time staff members looking after her because of her childlike emotional state. She’d locked away her trauma in some dark corner of her mind and couldn’t remember it, but certain situations could trigger her, so she was insulated from any possible cause of stress. Even the shows and films she watched and the books she read were vetted to ensure no violence was depicted.
Parking in the circular drive, Eva got out of the car and retrieved the gift bag from the backseat. She was momentarily startled to catch her mother’s reflection in the car’s window, then remembered herself. That quick shock was fortuitous when the front door opened, and Katherine stepped out to greet her because she was more prepared for the blow of seeing the mirror image of her late mother, which hit her with the same brutality every time.
“You’re early today,” Katherine said as Eva ascended the two wide, shallow steps to her. She threw her arms wide in welcome. “Happy birthday to us!”
“Happy birthday, Kathy.” Eva smiled through the sting of tears and embraced her aunt, the sensation so very similar to being held by her mother.
Eva’s birthday was many months away, in February, but Katherine didn’t know her as Eva; she saw only her sister Lauren. A possible self-defense mechanism, her doctor said. Meeting new people was frightening for her, and it had been decided that learning of her sister’s death might shatter her fragile emotional and mental states.
However, Lauren’s letters to her sister had been filled with mentions of her daughter, so Katherine knew about Eva. Because of that, Eva talked about herself in the third person, which gave her the freedom to say things she might not otherwise have the courage to. She also kept up the handwritten letters her mother had been so religious about sending, and the correspondences were like journal entries, snapshots of her life, and the fictional activities of her late mother.
Pulling back, Katherine gripped her by the shoulders and studied her. “No fair. You don’t age.”
“My husband takes good care of me,” she said, examining Katherine as closely in return.
Different circumstances and lifestyles meant Katherine was no longer exactly identical to her sister, who’d used a variety of cosmetic surgeries and treatments to maintain her youthful appearance. Katherine was aging naturally and had a minimal skincare routine, which Eva knew from the itemized list of expenses she received monthly. Barefaced and living as serene a life as possible, her aunt was radiant and lovely. Thankfully, she also still spoke with a rural Texas accent, which her sister had trained herself to drop. Eva couldn’t imagine how she would feel if Katherine not only looked like her mother but sounded like her, too.
“I’m glad you found a good one,” Katherine said, linking their arms and pulling her into the cottage. “I think they’re very rare.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
They entered the light and airy living room and settled together on the pretty floral loveseat. Katherine loved pink flowers, so a designer had been brought in to transform the cottage into her dream. Taking agency over the space had helped her make the transition to New York, which had nevertheless been a rough adjustment for her. She required routine and familiar people and places, no surprises, and very little change.
Katherine blended the past and present in unique ways. In her mind, she and Lauren were both still teenagers, but Lauren was also married with a daughter old enough to be married herself. These two vastly different eras in a lifetime existed concurrently in Katherine’s mind.
“Good morning, Mrs. Stanton.”
Eva turned her head to find Katherine’s housekeeper carrying over two glasses of orange juice on a tray. “Good morning, Penny.”
“And a happy birthday to you both,” she said, smiling at them. “I made a hummingbird cake for the occasion.”
“Did you, Penny?” Katherine’s face lit up. “That’s my favorite!”
“Must’ve been a good guess, then.”
“Oh, stop. You knew that.”
“Might also have a lemon cheese layer cake sitting around, too,” Penny added, giving Eva a wink.
Eva returned a grateful smile. She personally leaned more toward chocolate, but having a slice of her mother’s favorite childhood dessert had become an annual birthday tradition she cherished. It was a detail about her mother she hadn’t known before. So many things she hadn’t known because her mother had reinvented herself with every successive husband.
Katherine grabbed her hand. “Catch me up on everything. How is Richard? And Eva and Gideon? How is their adorable dog?”
“Richard is… well, he’s Richard. He should retire but says he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Gideon and Eva work nearly as much. I tell them to live a little or give me a grandchild to spoil, but…” She shrugged helplessly. “I guess they’re happy with Lucky.”
“You? A grandmother?” Katherine’s smile wavered, and shadows entered her blue eyes. “I don’t know how you aren’t crazed with worry over Eva, let alone wanting to bring a baby into this dangerous world. A dog can guard you, at least. They should just get another one and save themselves a lifetime of worry.”
Katherine’s unwittingly accurate assessment of the situation was a painful surprise.
Eva’s hand went to her tummy before she thought about it. She dropped it back into her lap. “It’s difficult when a woman feels the urgency of her biological clock. Eva’s thirty-six now, and fertility declines after thirty-five.”
“Well, maybe the decision’s been made for her, then. I hope I never feel that urge. I don’t think I will. I’m happy living here, far from all the evil and crime. Thanks to you. And Richard, too!”
Catching up both of her aunt’s hands, Eva gave them an affectionate squeeze. “I’m so happy to hear that you’re happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
Katherine’s grin was childishly joyful.
Eva chose to focus on celebrating the day. When she was with her aunt, her mother felt so beguilingly near. It was bittersweet, the balance between what she had and what she ached for, but she was grateful nonetheless.