Chapter 2
B y the time I reached my chambers, I was out of breath. While it’s never proper for a Lady to run, I pushed the limit to get there, hoping to look too rushed to be stopped by anyone I passed in the hallways.
As soon as I closed the door to my chambers, I felt my control waiver. Ivy and Amyra were in my chambers, tidying up from the morning as they normally do. I tried to make it to the couch just as a fresh round of tears spilled over.
“Lyla! What’s wrong?” Amyra’s voice felt distant, like I was hearing it through thick fog.
But I knew that sound — the warmth beneath her panic.
Her pale blue eyes were wide, searching my face as she pulled me into her arms. Her long, wavy black hair brushed against my cheek, falling around me like a curtain.
I inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar scent of warm apple cider that Amyra always had, and it nearly undid me.
Her lips grazed my temple, and even through my shock, I caught the faint sweetness of raspberries and honey, a reminder of safer moments.
Ivy’s eyes sharply flicked to the window.
“You’re supposed to be in the meeting with the Queen.
Why are you here?” she asked, her voice tight but steady.
Always steady. Her gold eyes locked onto me, bright and sure.
She crossed the room in a few fast steps, her red curls bouncing, and without a second thought, she took my hand.
Ivy had always been my compass in moments of chaos, and now I clung to her like she could point me back to solid ground.
Before I could find the words — before I could even think what to say — they were both there, holding me up as my knees gave out. The sobs came hard and fast, my whole body shaking with them, but they didn’t let go. They held on, and I let myself fall apart in their arms.
After several minutes, I could finally breathe again. “It’s Mother, she…”
The words wouldn’t come out.
“Is she forcing you too hard on this suitor business? You only just turned 20. Surely she doesn’t expect you to get betrothed this summer?
” Ivy was always ready to defend me, and I couldn’t help but love her so much for it.
She’s been my best friend since we were children, and my Lady in Waiting since Ethan and I came home from our study abroad, 5 years ago.
“Ivy, stop, let her talk!” Amyra chided.
While Ivy might be ready to start fights for me, Amyra had always been the one I could count on for emotional support, for comfort, and for rationality.
Her calm mind had been part of what made our relationship so irrational.
Amyra, with her pale blue eyes that could see straight through me, and her long, wavy black hair that always seemed to catch the light like polished obsidian.
She smelled of warm apple cider, even in summer, and her pale skin, so soft beneath my fingertips, never failed to draw me in.
When we came home from studying abroad, she had moved into the castle to join her father, one of the Councilors, after growing up on an estate along the coastline.
Ivy had introduced us. Fiery Ivy, with her gold eyes sharp as blades and her untamable red curls that always seemed to bounce in rhythm with her energy.
Her pale skin was a canvas of freckles, scattered like constellations across her nose and cheeks.
From that first meeting, the three of us had formed an inseparable trio.
But Amyra and I had something deeper, something we could never name out loud.
Something dangerous. We could never be caught.
Her father would disown her, and I would be forced into exile, never to take the throne.
But the tension from staying apart was more unbearable than the fear of losing everything.
Ivy was the only one who knew what we were to each other, and it needed to stay that way.
Instead of talking, I shook my head. The words stuck to my tongue; I couldn’t get them out. “She… gone.” I choked out in a whisper.
“Gone? Like she left? Why would she schedule this meeting with you if she were traveling?” Ivy, Gods, I loved her, but I couldn’t take this.
“No.” I sniffled. “She didn’t wake up this morning. She…” The words wouldn’t come. I couldn’t admit it. Let me try a different way. “I have a new meeting this afternoon. With the Council. Father is going to tell them I am to take the throne.”
“Take the thr…” Ivy trailed off, finally understanding.
Amyra held me tighter, her arms strong and warm around me. “Oh Gods, Lyla, I’m so sorry.”
Both women started crying as well. Mother had always invited them to any social event she needed me to attend and had grown to know them over the years. She had become as much a mother to them as their own could be. Well, as much as the queen of a country could be.
Through sniffles, Amyra asked, “How did it happen?”
I could only shrug. “The physician didn’t know. There was a funny burn mark on her chest, right here,” I pointed to the spot on my own. “But it didn’t look like anything that was fatal. I don’t know.”
“And those rat bastards are calling a meeting now? Today? They couldn’t give you time to grieve the loss of your own family?” Ivy was seething as she realized this.
“Wait, are you going to be the queen?” Amyra asked. She pulled on my shoulders so she could face me.
I nod.
“What about the marriage law?” Amyra questioned, referring to the age-old tradition of always having a king and queen ruling over the kingdom.
We have never had the throne held by one person before, except during these transition periods.
This council was too focused on returning to the past to allow me to be the first. They might let Ethan, maybe, but they would sooner start a war than allow a queen to sit alone… let alone to sit with a second queen.
“I… I think that’s part of why they chose me.
They know I don’t want to marry, ever. And Mother always found my refusal horrifying.
” It’s not that I don’t like men. It’s just that men are always so busy with finding new ways to subjugate their wives, so I never wanted to be tied to one.
Besides, I love Amyra. We could have made it if only the throne had gone to Ethan.
I reached for her face with both hands, gently holding her as we stared into each other’s eyes. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know I can’t live without you. I promise I’ll find a way for us if you are willing to stay, but I will never stop you if you decide you can’t do this.”
Her crystal blue eyes glistened with her love, tears threatening to spill down her pale cheeks. “Promise me, Lyla, you will never risk exile for me. I can’t bear that burden.”
Her smile betrayed the promise she wanted me to make. She didn’t want me to announce her as my love to the world. I understood why. Elthas was not kind to unwed women, and it has only gotten worse in recent years, as Councilors from the richest districts put more conservative men in their seats.
Ivy interrupted my thoughts. “No, Amyra, please, don’t make her promise to leave you behind. You two have a love so rare. I’m sure we could find a way to modify the expectations. Do we know the law says it must be one man and one woman? Maybe it’s just any marriage to anyone that is required.”
I broke my stare with Amyra to face Ivy. She meant well, but was only making this harder. She knew that marriage between women wouldn’t fly for our regular citizens, let alone for the future Queen. “It is explicit. I checked when I first realized I love Amyra. There is no legal way…”
“But there are illegal ways! So many of the men take their mistresses. Half the halls are filled with mistresses and ladies of questionable origin. Surely, you could take one too?” Ivy points out.
I hadn’t dared to think this way before.
Men always had the freedom to visit other beds.
Only when these situations produced children did they ruin lower-standing men and cause high-ranking men to take leave for their farms, bribing their wives into silence and hiding illegitimate children.
Amyra and I couldn’t meet that ending. Maybe there is an idea there.
I turned back to Amyra. If I asked her to be my mistress, I could ruin her ability to have her own family. We had shared many dreams about our children running and playing together, raising them as siblings together.
She didn’t let me ask. “Lyla, I will stay by your side for all of eternity. You are my heart, my everything. I would give everything up for your happiness. I just won’t give up your reputation.
Please don’t ask me to sacrifice you. If you take this throne, and you marry a man, you could change the Council, and then change the laws, and allow others to live more freely than we have ever imagined. You are the change the country needs.”
I nodded, too moved to speak. She was too good for me. They both were.
I took a few breaths to compose myself. “I love you too, Amyra. And I need you to have your own life. If you won’t let me give up mine, I can’t let you give up yours.”
Amyra grasped my hands and pulled them to her lap. “We will find a way, as long as you rule the country.”
Ivy jumped up. “Well, that’s it. Now we need to find a way to pick a husband that won’t mind being second fiddle. Should be easy, right?”
“As easy as putting out a fire with my mind,” I replied with a dry smile. Nothing about this would be easy. But finding a way to keep Amyra in my life, and maybe to set her up to have her family, would always be worth the effort.
Ivy made her way to my closet. “Well, you have an important meeting to go to after lunch, so let’s talk strategy while we get you ready to show those Councilors that you will be a Queen worth following.”
Amyra moved towards my vanity and started digging through the cabinet next to it where all of my accessories were stored.
The two of them moved with such efficiency.
Within minutes, Ivy had picked out a deep navy dress, made with capped sleeves and minimal decoration, one of my only dresses within the acceptable mourning colors.
She came back into the room just as Amyra turned around with two pieces of jewelry.
She had picked out a delicate gold necklace with a small crescent pendant made from lapis lazuli, which always stood out stunningly against my warm ivory skin.
She also held a golden circlet, with matching lapis lazuli chips sprinkled through it.
The two helped me to dress, and then I sat down at the vanity while Amyra started arranging my straight brown hair with braids to secure the circlet in place.
All the while, they fired off increasingly ridiculous ideas about how to find a man who wouldn't limit my relationship with Amyra.
Most of the ideas they had were quite impractical, ranging from death battles to sending them on quests to find mythical objects from our fairy tales.
There were two ideas that could have merit, though, and I tucked them into my proverbial pocket, ready to use them if needed.
By the time a courtier brought lunch to my chambers, I was ready for the meeting, and even comfortable seeing all the nobility in the castle, knowing the gossip and hushed whispers that accompany them.