Chapter 8
I n the morning, Amyra and Ivy met with me to have breakfast. Immediately after breakfast, I had to meet with Father and Ethan to discuss the ball; afterward, we would present our decision to the Council just before lunch.
Amyra and Ivy not only wanted to have all the details on the men and how it all went, but hopefully they could help me process some emotions that came up.
The idea of marriage, especially with a man, still makes me feel ill.
I would rather die with the world believing me a virgin queen than to be expected to submit to a husband.
Ivy and Amyra filled the room with small talk while the courtiers work on the surrounding room.
They shared how their evenings went, some of the silly mistakes that the single ladies made while watching the suitors, and how some suitors acted once they inferred they wouldn’t have a chance.
Some other potential courtships may have started last night, despite my concerns.
Once they cleared the room, the conversation immediately shifted. It was time to discuss the decision. Ivy started first. “OK, so Lyla, tell me, do you still think that Egan, Frederick, and Spencer are the right choices?”
“Yes, most certainly. Frederick seems to be genuinely kind and respectful. I still have my guard up, because I can’t see Lord Luther sponsoring such a man, but he would make a good choice if that’s the best option politically.
Egan was charming in the bumbling idiot way, but we share some interests.
Keeping him close might ease his nervousness from last night.
Though far from kingly, a relationship could strengthen our trade and knowledge of their kingdom.
I suspect I will have to tell him early that he is unlikely to win, because I don’t think anyone has ever denied him anything before.
I will have to feel out his emotional grasp before I make that decision.
And Spencer is Spencer. He deserves that spot. ”
I avoided looking at Amyra when I mention his name.
It was one thing for me to have to take a king, but I worry how she would feel if it’s Spencer.
She knew the history he had with my family, and it might have felt like a true betrayal.
Good Gods, I really hate this. It was the last thing I wanted to be doing.
Ivy must have noticed the tension on my face. “Do you still believe this is the best plan? Are you sure you don’t want to get out of taking a husband?”
I stared her down, so hurt. “I wish I could.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Truly and really, I wish I could. I understand the need for two rulers. We don’t have one god to show the way and thus we cannot have one person leading us there. But no one has ever told me why it must be a king and a queen.”
I could feel my face getting hot with anger. I loathed this. Noticing Amyra’s tearful gaze, I realized we were thinking the same thing. If I could be free to be me, if she could be free to be herself, there would be no question about who we would be.
“I’m so sorry. If you ever need to change our situation, or to head to your estate, please know, I will completely understand. I will miss you tremendously, but I never want to ask you to endure more.”
“Never. Lyla, I’m here. I’m going to always stay here. I’ll be by your side until they force us apart.” Amyra grabbed my hands and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I smiled at her through the tears .
I needed to calm down the emotions and to control my thoughts. I had little time before going to Father’s office, so I needed to compose myself. Rising, I went to the bathing chambers to freshen my face. Ivy brought up one of the earlier topics, helping Amyra refocus her thoughts, too.
As I came back into the sitting room, Amyra stood up and moved to me, reaching for my hands. “You will always be my love, and I will never begrudge you for fulfilling your duties to the kingdom. Your commitment to Elthas is part of why I love you so much.”
Ivy stood up with her but chose not to close the distance between us. “Lyla, we will both support you until the last of our days. Your rule will bring about a lot of changes, and we will always be here at your side to help you find the right balance.”
I didn’t know what I had done to deserve such noble women by my side, but I realized they speak true.
“Thank you, both of you. I don’t deserve either of you, but I am forever thankful that you are my closest friends.
I love you both, in such different ways, and I hope to be half the ruler you think I will be.
At least then I know I will have provided well for Elthas. ”
Amyra reached for me and offered a hug. We could never get enough of these embraces.
My mind raced to thoughts about how our time available for each other was about to change.
Once I take a husband, it would become so important to not allow him any hint of what may have been in the past. My heart nearly broke again.
I broke our hold and took a deep breath. “I need to go see Father and Ethan. Will you come to the announcement? If I find a way out of this, I want you both there to witness it.”
Amyra smiled. “We wouldn’t miss it for anything. I hope you find the decision that brings you peace, even if it means having a husband. I know we were never truly destined to be together.”
Oh Amyra, how could we be destined for anyone but each other? Why would the gods curse us with such love for each other when we couldn’t really have it? Fate is so cruel.
I arrived at Father’s office before Ethan. I smiled; he was usually the one holding up the lessons when we were children. I remembered all the times that our governess or Mother would scold him for losing track of time.
Father and I chit chatted some about the evening while waiting, but eventually, Father’s patience grew thin, so we got into the details of this upcoming meeting. I finally briefed him on the plan for the trials.
“OK, so the plan you have is to select three men. And which three are they?” I briefly repeated their names. His eyebrow raised with Spencer’s name. “The Vondalon Prince? Wasn’t he Ethan’s closest friend as a child? Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Yes. I know we have good relations with Vondalon already, but honestly, Spencer is the only suitor that I’m already willing to trust with the kingdom.
If they force me to choose just one man, it will be him, but the Council likely knows that.
I suspect that since Lord Luther and Lord Denenbaum each have a choice among the three, they will entertain this second stage, hoping one of the other suitors ends up the option instead. ”
Father smiled. “This is good planning. But is there actually a chance for the other men? Or are you stringing them along with this game for a different motive?”
I keep my expression composed, suppressing the range of emotions I have over being forced into this choice. I hoped to convince them to let me take Amyra as my wife if I couldn’t find a way out of the marriage altogether. But I was not ready to admit that, not even a little.
“They have a chance, yes. Prince Frederick was surprisingly charming, but I didn’t spend nearly enough time with him to discern if it was a mask hiding something else, or if that’s his true nature.
Prince Egan was a bit more of a bumbling fool, but we genuinely share some interests, and there may be potential for teaching him etiquette and polishing him.
Both could be great contenders, and I hope that if they don’t marry me, they are wise enough to take the companionship we build as a sign of diplomacy and allow us to find other ways to improve relations with their kingdoms.”
Father’s eyebrow raised, like he doubted the sincerity. I did intentionally avoid answering the question about motives, but hopefully he didn’t catch that. Ethan knocked on the door, and Father called out to give him permission to enter. I’m a bit relieved; he might not ask again.
Ethan quickly entered, quickly poured himself a glass of rum from the side table and then sat down. “Good morning, everyone! I hope you had a splendid morning.”
He looks around with the same boyish charm he always had when he was late for lessons. I shook my head, a smile spreading, enjoying the moment of nostalgia.
“Ethan, you need to be more mindful of your day and not keep people waiting. It’s poor form and can cause your sister a lot of grief if she relies on you through her rule.”
Father was most definitely not used to this, and his frustration with his lateness showed it.
I already knew better than to plan for Ethan to show up to anything on time if it started before lunch.
I probably would have told him this meeting started an hour earlier than it did if I had scheduled it.
Ethan wasn’t one to manage his time well, but it was easy enough to manage him.
“Yes, sir.” Thankfully, Ethan had the intelligence to know when to sass at Father and when not to, and this was a moment for the latter.
“Lyla, are you ready? Have you had the chance to decide if this plan will work?”
I nodded. “Yes, I think this will. If the Council objects, I will let them know Spencer will be the choice if they must force my hand, but that I would prefer time to learn and compare him to Prince Egan and Prince Frederick, so that I could make the best choice for the future of the kingdom. While I don’t think they’ll dislike Spencer, I think they would prefer one of their suitors, so it should benefit us.
I can’t imagine that anyone could argue effectively against a plan that puts the needs of the kingdom ahead of my personal desires, after all. ”
Ethan grinned. “You certainly learned how to play this game well. I hope it works. Well then, is there anything else we need to discuss before the Council meeting in twenty minutes?” He glances at Father.
I’m so glad he took this lead and steered the conversation well past Father’s question from earlier.
Father nods, and Ethan stands. “It’s been a pleasure, and I’m glad we all know the plan going into this meeting.
I’m going to find some food before it starts. ”
I released a short laugh as I shook my head. “I’m so glad to see you’re in better spirits today. It’s refreshing.”
Ethan turned and bowed as he approached the door. “I live to serve, my Queen.” He winked at me as he turned to open the door.
“Just a moment, you two,” Father called out while moving to stand at his desk. We both paused, turning to him. “There was one other important news to bring to the attention of both of you, but one that for now, we need to keep from the Council.”
He motioned to us to sit back down, and we both sat on the sofa near the desk.
Father offered me a small handkerchief before he spoke again.
“The physician has confirmed with me that your mother did not leave us through natural causes. He is still investigating what has happened, but he finds no evidence of any disease that would take her at her age. The only suspicion he has to work from is that unexplainable char mark on your mother’s shoulder.
I confirmed with him I saw nothing the evening before she… .”
His voice wavered, and tears threatened to wash along his cheeks. After clearing his throat and blinking a couple of times, he continued. “Well, anyway, I must advise you to suspect all those who surround you, especially you, Lyla. Anyone wishing to gain the throne could have made that move. ”
Ethan reached for my hand, and I stared ahead, numbly. Just like that, the jovial mood had disappeared.
We sat in silence, taking in this information. A few moments pass before Ethan broke the silence, “Are there any leading suspicions about anyone?”
“Two of the Councilmen have been disagreeing with Mother on positions as of late. They seem to resent that she has authority over them. They wish to further a power imbalance that favors men.”
Without naming names, I immediately knew who he was speaking of.
And my heart dropped, as those two councilors were sponsoring my choices.
I finally broke my stare to turn towards Father, to find him observing me.
He softly added, “I don’t think you should change course.
Perhaps the councilors’ sponsorship of those princes was politically motivated, but that doesn’t guarantee the princes will pursue the councilors’ ambitions.
But I want you to have all the information you could as you make this decision. ”
It was too late for me to change my mind, anyway.
The meeting was here, and I really didn’t see anyone else of any caliber last night.
I pushed up from the sofa, turning to Father, “I’m going to stop in my room quickly for some water, and I will meet you in front of the Council chambers in ten minutes. ”
I was determined, despite my reservations.