Chapter 17
KAELION
I sit at my kitchen table…and I am paralyzed.
Solvi and I got noodles again, then we returned to the apartment. She went to her room to draw—and promptly fell fast asleep. I just tucked her in, settled the house…and even got a break from Flicker, who’s been sleeping in Solvi’s room each night.
And I need to talk to Lyn.
I told her I would reach out—I should reach out, because she’s undergoing a bizarre neurological event. I need to make sure she’s alright, at the very least. I need to ensure she’s not experiencing any pain, disorientation, emotional instability…
…though I would argue she was distressingly stable. Articulate. Shameless in a way that both thrilled and alarmed me.
And more than that…I want her.
I want to command her to take her clothes off and wait for me—to allow me to cover her in electrodes and monitor every minute reaction…
to touch her and take the waveforms and memorize their shape.
I want to chart the shift in her breathing when my tongue is at her throat.
I want to stimulate her slowly enough to watch the cascade unfold like a symphony.
No.
I need to check in.
I need her to know I didn’t abandon her. That I’m not ashamed of her.
I lift my comm and type out a message.
Kaelion
Are you alright?
I stare at it for five long seconds before hitting send.
A moment later, the reply flashes across my screen.
Lyn
yeah, i’m fine. better i think. a little weird, but better. didn’t mean to freak you out, sorry
I stand, taking my comm with me so I can pace the length of my living room. The words are begging to spill out of me, and I type a great number of them out…
Kaelion
I’m not ashamed of you. I want to start with that. I want you to understand that this is uncharted territory for me, and that I have no expectations that you’ll continue working with me. This has become complicated, but I am…
I go back to the drawing board.
Consider going all the way to the gutter and telling her what I really feel.
Kaelion
Come here. Stay quiet. I am going to make you come until you’re so wrung out that you don’t want to come again.
…I delete each and every one.
Kaelion
Any new symptoms?
She takes longer to reply this time. In the minutes that pass, I feel like I’m drowning.
Lyn
nope, just the same old lack of ability to orgasm without you.
I stop pacing.
Sit down on the sofa.
My fingers hover above the comm, unable to determine how to even reply to that.
Everything I can imagine seems too hollow, too clinical, cowardly.
I have no idea what she needs right now, especially when all I can think about is her wet mouth around my thumb, the way she took my digit as I thrust deep into her throat—
Kaelion
that may resolve in time
I send it.
Her reply comes quickly.
Lyn
maybe, but i’m not holding my breath
Then—before I can reply, there’s a soft knock on the door.
No. She wouldn’t.
I give it a moment, waiting to see if the knock was real or just my imagination. But then it comes again—a little louder—and I hear Flicker stir in Solvi’s room with a soft grumble.
I move quickly toward the door and open it.
And she’s right there…waiting.
Lyn stands in the light of the hallway, her face set in a resolute stare, her fists clenched at her sides.
She’s wearing a black hoodie with the hood pulled up over her curls, a different scarf—a purple one—tied around her head beneath it.
Otherwise, she’s only in a pair of running shoes and leggings.
“I was out for a jog and I came over,” she says.
I frown.
“Okay,” she breathes. “I…wasn’t out for a jog. I don’t jog. I just—I came here. I don’t know why.”
My frown deepens and I open my mouth to say something—
“Okay, that was also a lie,” she says. “I know exactly why I’m here. I’m here because I want to come, and I know you’re going to do it, and I don’t want it to be in the lab this time and…I know you want it, please, I know—”
I reach out to pull her inside, shutting the door behind her with a muted thud. I don’t touch her skin—that’s too risky here in the open—but she shudders all the same.
Then…a little raspy growl from the end of the hall.
Flicker.
“Come with me,” I mutter, taking her by the arm and leading her to my bedroom.
This is a very bad idea. I should send her away. But…that was never a possibility, was it? She’s here, and she’s inside, and now I’m taking her to my bedroom.
Flicker growls as we move past her.
“Baba?” Solvi’s voice comes from her room. “Is someone here?”
“Stay here,” I hiss to Lyn before closing her in my bedroom.
I turn around to move to Solvi’s room, finding my daughter sitting up and blinking her eyes in the shifting glow of her nightlight.
“Sorry, blossom,” I say gently, stepping into her room. “You just heard the door. A colleague stopped by to drop something off.”
Solvi rubs her eyes, tendrils rising like she can sense that I’m lying. Flicker has hopped up beside her and plopped her head in her lap like a suspicious chaperone, blinking neon green eyes at me as she tracks my every move.
Traitor. She’s supposed to be my drakon, and now she’s acting like I’m a serious threat to her true person—Solvi.
Solvi’s voice is small but direct. “Is it Lyn?”
I suppress the urge to groan in frustration. I don’t want to have this conversation right now.
“Yes,” I admit. “She left something in the lab. I told her she could come by and get it.”
“Is she okay?”
I walk to her bedside and crouch. “She’s going through something a little unusual, physiologically speaking. We’re running tests to help her figure it out.”
Solvi studies me, her lids heavy but her brow furrowed. “She’s not dying or something, right?”
“No,” I say firmly. “Nothing like that. She’s healthy. Just…experiencing some changes. And we’re being very careful.”
Her fingers twist into Flicker’s fur. The drakon doesn’t blink. I swear her eyes narrow in warning.
“Are you okay?” Solvi asks next. “You look weird.”
I laugh under my breath. “I’m tired, that’s all.”
“Okay,” she murmurs. She yawns, and I can tell she’s already flagging. “Just…tell her hi for me, okay?”
“I will, blossom,” I reply, smoothing her tendrils back. “Good night.”
“‘Night, Baba.”
I linger a moment longer, letting my hand rest against her crown, smoothing one tendril down, then another. She leans into it instinctively, eyes already closing again, and Flicker lets out a low huff that almost sounds like a warning not to push my luck.
“Calm down,” I mutter do the drakon.
She just huffs another breath and closes her eyes.
I rise and back quietly out of the room, easing the door closed until only a sliver of light spills into the gap.
Then I’m going back to my room…to the end of the hall I can feel Lyn’s presence behind the door, scent her…
rich and sweet and burning. I don’t know what I’m about to walk into.
I don’t know if I’m going to let it happen… or if I’ll be strong enough to stop it.
I open the door.
She’s standing at the foot of the bed, looking around at my space. It’s plain, utilitarian, tidy—more like a lab than a sleeping area. The bed is neatly made, the walls white, a single photograph of me and Solvi on the bedside table.
I close the door behind me and Lyn swallows hard, breath hitching.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I um…I didn’t mean to wake her.”
“It’s a likely outcome when you show up to a father’s home in the middle of the night,” I reply.
“Guess so,” she laughs, her teeth snagging on her lip.
I cross my arms and look at her, eyes narrowed. “I would ask you why you’re here, but you made that quite clear.”
She fidgets, hands tugging the hem of her hoodie like she’s realizing—belatedly—that this may have been a mistake. Her cheeks flush again, her posture shifting somewhere between defiance and embarrassment. I can see the strain at her temples, the tension at the corner of her mouth.
But she doesn’t back down.
“I still meant it,” she says. “I’m here because I want you. I want you to help me come, yeah, but also…” Her voice softens. “I trust you. And you said you’d check in. And I just—I didn’t want to be alone with this.”
“You’ve never been alone in this.”
She sighs and rolls her eyes a little. “I mean…I kind of am. I’m the one who seems to have an uncontrollable reaction to you. Embarrassing, but…but it feels better when you’re touching me.”
I study her a moment, long enough for her to squirm.
“I’m not sure you understand what you’re inviting,” I say. “You think you’re the only one having a reaction?”
She blinks at that.
I step closer.
“For you, maybe it’s relief. Maybe it’s release. But I am not neutral in this.” My voice drops. “Our senses are stronger than humans…and your scent is driving me insane.”
Her eyelashes flutter. “Okay.”
“For the past week, every interaction we’ve had…” I pause, tapping my index finger against my elbow. “...you smell like sex, Lyn. Always. Like something that is begging to be eaten.”
She lets out a harsh breath. “Wow.”
“And do you know what that means for me?”
“I would like to.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “It means me imagining your thighs over my shoulders every night. Thinking about what you’d sound like if I made you beg. Wondering how many orgasms I could wring from you in a single evening with nothing but my fingers and my tongue.”
She chokes on a moan, breath making her chest rise and fall fast. “I didn’t—that was…holy shit.”
I take a step closer…then another, close enough that I can touch her.
“If we do this,” I say, “you have to be quiet. You cannot wake my daughter.”
Lyn swallows hard. “I don’t know if I can—”
“Do you need me to gag you, Lyn?”
Her breath leaves her in a sharp, startled gasp—like I just cracked open some vault inside her she didn’t realize had been sealed shut. Her knees press together reflexively, her whole body trembling with the weight of the offer.
“No,” she whispers, voice rough. “I just—I’ll try. I promise I’ll try.”
I should stop here. I know that.
But I don’t.
“You will try,” I say, low and steady. “Because if you make a sound loud enough to wake Solvi, I will stop. Even if you’re begging me not to.”
She nods.
“Use your words.”
“Yes,” she says quickly. “Yes, I understand. I’ll be quiet.”
I lean in another centimeter…just barely not touching her.
“Now you’re going to lie down for me,” I murmur. “And you’re going to spread your legs…and let me taste what you brought me.”