Chapter 32
Jemma
Jemma brewed a cup of sweet tea while Ethan took a long shower and Hamish ran the other women home, not trusting Charlee, still distraught, to drive. When he rang from the Brennans’ place, saying he’d be a while, Jemma assumed he was filling in Charlee’s dad and grandfather about the issue.
As Ethan emerged from the bathroom, Jemma unspeakingly handed him a steaming mug and headed for the shower herself.
She needed the time to sluice off what felt like filth, to calm her pounding heart rate.
She’d judged Ethan unfairly, yet she couldn’t flip to entirely trusting him.
Her mother had ripped out any part of her that was naive or empathetic or forgiving: but perhaps that was something she needed to rebuild.
She knew that Hamish was disappointed in her reaction to the situation, and that hurt more than she would have thought possible, but her response had been visceral, uncontrollable, despite her carefully chosen words.
By the time she finished in the shower, Ethan had disappeared, the light shining beneath the end bedroom door. She should have said something reassuring, not left him to stew—but until she had concrete information, she was loath to make promises.
Enveloped in one of Hamish’s jumpers, she sat before the embers of the fire, opened her laptop, brought up case law and started making notes. She’d steered away from anything to do with drug use and abuse cases, so she needed a refresher.
By the time Hamish returned, Jemma felt better equipped. Just the sight of him set off funny little quivers deep in her belly, her heart fluttering in a giddy fashion—all of which was perfect, because it supported the decisions she’d made.
‘Okay, I was wrong,’ she announced the moment he walked in the door. He didn’t need to know she’d spent the past couple of hours rehearsing the unfamiliar phrase.
‘Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,’ Hamish said, one hand behind his ear. ‘Would you mind repeating it?’
‘If that’s what you want me using my mouth for,’ she said, paraphrasing his earlier comment.
He chuckled and, as she rose from the lounge, tugged her into his arms. ‘So just what are you wrong about?’
‘Ethan. You were right—he is one of the good guys.’
‘I knew you’d warm up to him once you got to know him.’
Jemma gave a light laugh. ‘I don’t want to make a habit of doing that—I have a reputation to uphold. But, to be honest, I am kind of tempted to wake him.’
‘To inform him he’s made your shortlist of barely acceptable people? Fair call.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Wake him, because I’ve been doing some research into drug possession.’
Hamish stiffened. ‘I thought you’d changed your mind about him?’
‘I have. But that doesn’t mean I’m a pushover.
’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘Sorry, I know I’ve given Ethan a hard time.
It’s just, after years of dealing with Mum, I don’t want to step into that world again.
She was …’ She trailed off, unable to put the flood of emotions into words.
Would there ever be a time she could recall her mother’s betrayals without reacting?
‘I know,’ Hamish said, pressing a kiss into her hair. ‘I know, Jem. And, honestly, I’ll be happy to never meet your mother, because I’m furious with her for hurting you so much that you’ve had to build a shell to protect yourself against the world.’
Jemma was silent for a minute, not trusting herself to speak.
Hamish was the only person to recognise the survival instinct she’d needed to develop so many years ago.
And instead of prying, demanding details or questioning the impact, he was simply holding her close, imparting strength and the unspoken promise that he would be there for her.
‘Anyway,’ she said, swallowing the tremor in her voice and stoically returning to business. ‘I started by checking for mitigating factors, but I needed to take the case right back to basics. The facts would seem to be that Ethan was arrested with drugs in his possession.’
‘But lawyers can manipulate facts, right? So, as the drugs weren’t his, you could get him proven innocent?’
‘He’s not innocent of possession. In any case, there’s no such thing as being proven innocent in Australia.’ She tapped his forehead with one finger. ‘I warned you that American show was going to screw with your mind. Best you get here is found not guilty.’
‘Isn’t that the same thing?’
‘I’m sure it’s not to people who are looking to clear their name. It can just mean that the evidence wasn’t there to find them guilty. Doesn’t make them innocent, or prove their innocence.’
‘Jem, I know lawyers operate on a different wavelength to the rest of us but, honestly, none of this is sounding like good news.’
‘Bear with me.’ She led him to the couch, curling herself against his side.
She loved the feel of him there, so solid, so present.
‘I know this can seem daunting, but it’s not as dire as you think.
It’s just a little messy, a bit time-consuming, but I will sort it.
So, if Ethan was only charged with simple possession, the police can refer the case to an assessment service and that acts as a stay of proceedings. ’
‘Which is good?’
‘Which is good,’ she confirmed. ‘And it’s one avenue we can pursue. Honestly, it would be better if Tara took accountability; she’d get away with being referred to the drug diversion program. But I respect that Ethan wants to keep her out of it. I just hope this was enough to scare her straight.’
‘There’s enough of us who know now to keep an eye on her,’ Hamish said heavily.
Jemma nodded, although she didn’t want to share the true depth of her doubt: again, her mother had coloured her willingness to trust. ‘It may take more than that. Ethan might have some leads for voluntary counselling for her. As it stands, though, I believe the maximum Ethan will be looking at will be a couple of thousand dollars’ fine, no prison time.
Even better, if there’s no conviction, there’d be no mandate to report the incident to his employer.
It’s the supplier at the piggery that we need to take down, not some guy trying to save a friend. ’
Hamish ran both hands through his red-gold hair and blew out a tense breath. ‘And can we afford to have GB she couldn’t tease him any longer.
‘I emailed my resignation to Gerard tonight. You’ve helped me realise there’s a bit more to life—and to this job—than simply winning.’
Hamish shook his head. ‘That’s amazing, Jem, I’m so proud of you.
’ Despite his words, she could sense his reticence.
‘I guess it’s too early for you to have checked out new …
chambers, but do you have any idea what suburb you’ll be looking at?
Or will you stay close to GB&A?’ He gave a slightly lopsided grin.
‘Just trying to work out the travel time.’
‘I don’t think we’ll need to factor in a long-distance relationship.’
‘Oh,’ he said flatly.
‘Because it’s really not that far, is it?’
‘Far enough,’ Hamish said heavily. ‘There’s a fine line between independence and loneliness. And I think I’ve been balanced on it for a while, now. Jem, we’re the most mismatched couple out, but I’m falling in love with you. The thing is, I’m not willing to be anyone’s handbag—’
‘You’re right,’ she interrupted. ‘So incompatible.’ She shook her head mournfully. ‘You’re weird, and artistic and irritatingly impetuous. You are so completely, irrefutably wrong that you’re actually … perfect.’
There was relief in his kiss, but then Hamish stood to pace the room. ‘Look, I can maybe move the workshop to the city and spend more time there. The farm’s another matter, though. I can’t cut and run from that. I made Lachlan promises.’
‘And there’s another thing I like about you: integrity. You keep me grounded and I’m going to need that.’
‘Going to, as though you don’t already?’ he teased, although the tension in his rigid stance and clenched fists betrayed the effort behind his levity.
‘I’ve heard country folk don’t take too well to flashiness in their lawyers.’
Hamish froze. ‘But you’ve walked out on Gerard’s rural expansion?’
‘And he’s not going to attempt it without me, so I just defeated my competition—no evidence submitted, no objections raised.’
‘Competition … you mean … here?’
The final word sounded strangled and though he was across the room, near the fire, she could sense Hamish holding his breath.
Jemma nodded. ‘An ironclad promise that behind the ironbark tree in Settlers Bridge you will find the best regional legal representation available in the state. In fact, I’ll be looking for someone to draw me up a logo incorporating those themes.
Know of anyone with the creative genius required to convey my potential? ’
Hamish’s rich chuckle filled the room. ‘So modest.’
‘Realistic. And that’s what I mean about the travel time—I’ll rent the cottage next to Dad’s on the river. It’s only a few minutes into Settlers Bridge.’
Hamish moved back to the lounge and pulled her to her feet, holding her arms so he could look directly into her face. ‘Jem, this is huge. But … fast. Have you thought it through?’
‘Seriously, you’re asking me that?’ she said, only partially joking. ‘It’s time I took a chance. Besides, any intelligent person can make a rapid, educated decision.’
‘Love how you immediately negate the risk factor in taking that chance,’ he murmured, still grinning.
‘I told you months ago, I always know exactly what I want. And it’s you. Even though it’s crazy and awkward and totally messed up that we don’t get to choose who we fall in love with.’
‘We don’t?’
‘No. The whole concept is too big for that.’ She frowned, bewildered by the notion of a force greater than her own determination.
Her love for Hamish defied logic—unimaginable, inexplicable, but real.
A driving, motivating force. She leaned into him, her fingers tracing the strong contours of his face.
‘But, for once in my life, I’m just along for the ride. ’
‘With me?’
‘With you,’ Jemma replied unequivocally.
‘Partners,’ Hamish murmured.
Her chuckle held a note of sadness—but not regret—an echo of opportunities lost, softened by the promise of those still to come.
‘The only kind that really matter.’