10. Jace
“Who pissed in your cereal this morning?” Eli says. And even though I have my arm draped over my face so I can’t see him, I can still hear the smirk in his voice.
I groan, still slumped on the couch with my arm over my face. “Kayla fucking Ashford.”
“Wait, seriously? She actually pissed in your cereal?”
A huff that is half amusement and half exasperation rips from my chest. “No. But I’m sure the only reason she hasn’t done that yet is because she doesn’t actually eat breakfast. She does everything else she can, though, to be a fucking menace who?—”
My words are cut off as something hard slams into my chest.
“Ow,” I growl, yanking my arm off my face and sitting upright.
Glaring down, I find my own bat now lying in my lap after it smacked into my chest. I draw my eyebrows down and look up to find Kaden standing in the doorway to the living room with a nonchalant expression on his face.
Eli huffs out a laugh while dropping down on the couch opposite me. It creaks underneath his weight as he lands and swings his feet up on the coffee table. Rico strolls past and casually kicks Eli’s feet down from the table before he shoves my legs off the couch as well and sits down next to me. Eli shoots him a threatening look that Rico responds to with a grin full of challenge.
I snatch up the bat in my lap and spin it in my hand before pointing it at Kaden, who is still watching me from the doorway with cool dark eyes. Narrowing my eyes, I level a hard stare on him.
“You don’t just throw bats at people,” I warn.
From next to me on the couch, Rico snorts and cuts me a sideways look. “You are the last person who gets to lecture someone about throwing bats at people, Golden.”
“One, don’t call me that. And two, let me rephrase.” I level my bat threateningly at Kaden again. “You don’t just throw a bat at the owner of said bat. It’s?—”
“Bat Etiquette 101,” both Eli and Rico finish for me, and then chuckle in unison.
“Exactly,” I say.
“Yeah, you do,” Kaden argues as he at last pushes off from the doorframe and starts towards the couch. While dropping down next to Eli, he gives me a pointed look. “If the owner of that bat left it blocking my hallway.”
“Blocking the hallway?” I roll my eyes and put the bat down on the coffee table in front of me. “Now you’re just being dramatic.”
Kaden slides out a knife and starts twirling it in his hand. “If I wanted bats all over my house, I would be marrying you. Not Alina.”
“Yes, where is Alina?” I ask, glancing around their neat living room.
Just like Kaden’s room was back home, and back at Blackwater, his and Alina’s house is freakishly neat and clean. He has always preferred things organized, and it shines through now as well.
There is not a speck of dust on the pale wooden furniture, and the two white couches that we’re occupying don’t have a single stain on them. Sunlight streams in through the windows and glints against the silver decorations around the living room.
I suppress a smile as my gaze drifts across the light colors. That is something Kaden had to give up. He prefers dark colors. Dark wood. Black fabric. But Alina doesn’t. She likes it light and airy. And Kaden is whipped as fuck when it comes to Alina, so whatever she wants, she gets.
“She’s out with Raina and Isabella,” Kaden replies, still nonchalantly twirling the knife in his hand.
I snap my attention back to his face. “What?” Incredulity pulses through me as I stare between my three brothers. “You let the three of them go out alone. Together.”
Rico clears his throat and lifts one shoulder in a shrug. “We’ve preemptively paid off the entire police department.”
“Just in case they set the whole city on fire,” Eli picks up, and waves a casual hand in the air. “Or, you know, kill a bunch of people or something.”
An astonished laugh escapes my chest, and I shake my head. “And this is why I’m still single.”
Eli, Kaden, and Rico exchange a glance. Knowing smiles spread across their lips. I scowl at them.
“What?” I demand.
Kaden snickers and cuts me a look. “For now.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that you’ve been talking an awful lot about Kayla Ashford in our group chat.”
“So,” Rico begins, drawing out the word, before I can retort. “What’s she like?”
I shoot them all a threatening look, which they all just answer with a wicked grin. Groaning, I slump back against the backrest again and rake my fingers through my hair.
“I’m telling you, she’s fucking crazy,” I mutter.
Eli arches a dark eyebrow. “Crazy or insane?”
Letting my hands drop back down, I frown at him. “Is there a difference?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know.” I shake my head at him in befuddlement. “Both?”
Kaden shrugs, still not missing a single spin with his knife. “She can’t be worse than Raina.”
“No one is worse than Raina.” I hold up my hands to illustrate two separate groups. “There are insane people. And then there’s Raina. She’s not in the same league. Hell, she’s not even playing the same sport.”
“Hey,” Eli cuts off, shooting me and Kaden a threatening look. “Watch your mouths about my girl.”
Kaden just shrugs again. “She would probably take it as a compliment.”
Eli considers for a second, and then tips his head to the side as if conceding the point. “True.”
“So no, she’s not worse than Raina,” I continue. “But she’s still driving me crazy!”
All three of them exchange another knowing look and then smirk at me.
“Stop smirking,” I mutter. “I’m serious. I have never met anyone who is as infuriating and tenacious and as utterly incapable of following orders and as immune to my charms as…” Trailing off, I shoot them all a dark look. “You’re smirking again.”
They chuckle.
Rico wiggles his eyebrows at me. “Yeah, I mean, Kaden is the one getting married in a couple of weeks, but I’m sure we could make the priest stay for a second wedding right after as well.”
“Yeah,” Kaden adds, his dark eyes glinting as he holds my gaze. “And I’m sure I can find that French maid costume you keep talking about, so that you can practice wearing it instead.”
I scowl at both of them. “Shut up. I’m not…” Trailing off, I sit upright again as a realization crackles through me like a lightning bolt. “Oh, fuck. Your wedding. It’s on a Saturday. I need to find someone to cover Kayla that day.”
“Bring her,” Kaden says with a casual shrug.
Shaking my head, I stare at him. “Haven’t you been listening? She’s crazy. And annoying as hell.”
“So are you, and you’re still invited.”
“Fuck you.”
He smirks. But there is a sparkle in his eyes. Kaden talks a lot of shit. In fact, we all talk a lot of shit and take every opportunity to mess with each other. But when push comes to shove, we have each other’s backs without question. Every day of the week. Or at least, I hope so. But maybe that has changed now that they know that I’m not sure if I want to be a hitman.
As if his mind went down a similar path, Rico turns to me with a serious expression on his face. “I’ve been meaning to ask. Well, we’ve been wondering…”
Panic shoots up my spine. I’m pretty sure I know where this is going, but I manage to keep a casual expression on my face as I meet his gaze and raise my eyebrows in silent question.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” he asks, his serious eyes searching my face. “That you didn’t want to become a hitman.”
That panic ripples through me again, mixed with dread this time. I can feel Eli and Kaden watching me as well.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be a hitman,” I begin, trying to choose my words carefully. “Like I said, I do actually enjoy it. But I just… I want a choice.”
He gives me a small smile. “Yeah, I get that.”
And he does. I know that he truly does understand. Out of all of them, Rico is probably the one who most understands what it’s like to feel trapped in a life that you haven’t chosen.
“But still,” Eli picks up from the white couch across from me. His golden eyes are also serious as he studies my face. “Why didn’t you tell us about that?”
How could I? When they’re all so perfect. Eli, the ruthless killer who will without a doubt surpass our father as the most legendary Hunter assassin. Kaden, the calculating schemer who makes people flinch just by looking at them. Sons that our parents can be proud of. Sons that will accomplish great things and carry on the notorious Hunter name. And Rico, the powerful leader who will rule this entire state one day. The pride and joy of Federico Morelli.
And then there’s me.
How could I ever tell my brothers that I might not want to join them down this path? That I might not want to become a hitman. That I couldn’t stand the thought that this was going to be my life whether I wanted it or not.
I didn’t want them to see me as weak. I didn’t want them to see me as a failure. As someone unworthy of being their brother. Of being one of them.
So that’s why I didn’t tell them.
But how could I ever explain that to them now?
Clearing my throat, I push to my feet and do my best to give them all a casual smile. “I’m just going to grab something to drink.”
They watch me in silence, but they say nothing. And they don’t try to stop me as I walk back through the living room and towards Kaden and Alina’s kitchen.
And I fucking love them for that. I love them for not pushing me. For not forcing me.
Maybe one day I will tell them, but not today.
Not right now.
Because right now, I need to keep myself together firmly enough to survive this semester of guarding Kayla. Nothing is going to stop me. No matter what, I am going to make it to the end of the semester. Because I need to have the choice to decide my own future. I need it more than anything.