19. Kayla
God damn, the boy can cook. My soul flutters every time I take a bite of the food, and I have to actively stop myself from moaning. The taste is absolutely incredible. Not to mention how fucking hot he looked while he was making it.
“This is absolutely delicious,” Jenn blurts out between enthusiastic bites. Her blue eyes are wide as she stares at me from across my kitchen table. “Did you really make this?”
A sheepish smile spreads across my mouth, and I scratch the back of my neck. “Uhm, no. Jace did, actually.”
Jenn, Aurora, and Lionel all whip around to stare at Jace, who is sitting across from me at the table. Shock pulses across all of their faces as they gape at him.
“You made this?” Jenn asks, sounding as surprised as she looks.
“It was a team effort,” Jace replies, a grin on his mouth, as he winks at me.
Unexpected warmth ripples through me, and I let out a soft laugh.
Team effort. Right. The only thing I contributed to this meal was picking out the wine. Since I have no idea what I’m doing around food, Jace ended up cooking the entire meal on his own while I sat at the kitchen table drinking wine. And staring at his forearms. And staring at the way his messy curls fell down over his forehead when he was looking down at the cutting board. And staring at the light that sparkled in his eyes when he tasted the sauce to make sure it was seasoned perfectly. God, who knew a man could look so hot while doing something as simple as making food?
“I just picked out the wine,” I admit, a smile on my mouth, as I nod towards Jace. “Jace made all the food.”
“It’s incredible,” Jenn says to Jace, her eyes glittering as she takes another bite.
Aurora gives him a knowing smile over the rim of her wine glass. “Gotta love a man who knows how to cook.”
There is a genuine smile on Jace’s lips as he raises his own wine glass in a salute. Red and golden light from the setting sun reflects against the windows of the building opposite ours and shines into my apartment. It casts warm light over Jace’s handsome features as he smiles. My heart does a strange summersault in my chest.
“Why do you even know how to cook?” Lionel suddenly asks, almost sounding a bit suspicious as he frowns at Jace.
While setting down his wine glass, Jace turns and leans forward a little so that he can meet Lionel’s gaze since they are seated the farthest from each other. No one is sitting at the head of the table. Instead, Jace and I are sitting opposite each other on the right side of the table while Jenn and Aurora are seated opposite each other on our left. Lionel is sitting on Aurora’s other side, which puts him alone there at the left side of the table.
“What do you mean?” Jace asks, a slight frown on his face.
Lionel gestures at the food on our plates. “I mean, you don’t exactly look like someone who knows how to make something like this.”
“And what does someone who knows how to cook look like?”
“I don’t know,” Lionel snipes back. “Not like you.”
He sounds defensive. And angry. Which I find very strange. But Jace doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. He lifts his broad shoulders in a shrug and flashes us all a grin.
“Well, a man’s gotta eat,” he says. “And in order to eat, you need to know how to cook.” A sharp glint full of challenge creeps into his eyes as he once again leans forward and locks eyes with Lionel. “Or are you one of those men who expect your girl to cook for you?”
Lionel’s cheeks flush an indignant shade of red as he splutters, “No. Of course not.”
Jace lets out a huff of amusement and leans back in his seat, nonchalantly swirling the wine in his glass before taking a sip.
Before Lionel can retort, Jenn expertly switches the topic. “We should probably start planning the next step for our silent auction. We have secured the items that will be auctioned off. Now, we need a venue.”
“Exactly,” Aurora picks up.
Lionel shoots one last glare at Jace, but then joins the discussion as well.
I keep my eyes on Jace.
This is one of the things that I find so interesting about him. The contrasting sides of him and how effortlessly he can shift between them. On the one hand, he’s carefree and full of laughter and excitement. Like a golden retriever. Which is why I call him Sparky when I want to mess with him. But at the same time, he’s also cunning and confident and incredibly dominant.
My heart starts racing at just the memory of that one command he snapped at me to prove a point earlier. Now, sit your ass back down on that chair and finish your breakfast like a good girl. God, I wanted to slap him when he said that. But mostly, I wanted to slap myself because of how my heart flipped and my pussy throbbed.
While only listening to Aurora with half an ear, I let my gaze drop back down to Jace’s forearms. The way his muscles flexed when he was chopping ingredients and whisking the sauce and lifting the pans while making dinner earlier was so hot that my mind drifted down all kinds of really dangerous paths. And now, I can’t get those thoughts out of my head.
Suddenly realizing that I’m staring, I snap my gaze back up.
And find Jace smirking at me with a knowing glint in his eyes.
I scoff, trying to play it off, but I can’t stop my cheeks from heating. Hopefully, it’s not visible in the dancing candlelight and the already red and golden hues from the setting sun.
Blocking out those inconvenient thoughts, I drink deeply from my wine glass and instead return my attention to the discussion about how we are going to find a venue for our silent auction.
But even after we have finished dinner, and Aurora, Jenn, and Lionel have left, and we have cleaned up in the kitchen, I still can’t get those forbidden thoughts completely out of my mind.
Indecision twists inside me as I linger in the living room, watching Jace retreat into his bedroom. As usual, he doesn’t close the door fully behind him.
I should head back into my own bedroom too. Should call it a night. I have classes in the morning. And I’ve been drinking. Not that I’m drunk or anything. But still. It’s Monday tomorrow. I should do the responsible thing and get ready for a week of studies.
The memory of how fucking hot Jace looked when he was cooking blows across my vision again.
Fuck it. I start towards his bedroom. I’m not going to do anything. I’m just going to ask him something. Just one question. And then I will leave. Then I will do the right thing and be responsible and not further muddle this already complicated relationship that we now have.
I make sure that he can hear me coming towards his room so that he has the chance to shut the door in my face if he wants to.
He doesn’t.
Walking inside, I find him standing by the dresser on the other side of the room. Shirtless.
Electricity shoots up my spine as Jace sets down the shirt he has just taken off and turns to face me. Light from the ceiling lamp falls across his muscular chest when he stops. Heat pools inside me, and I suddenly forget why I’m here.
Jace arches an eyebrow. “Did you need something?”
I clear my throat, scrambling to compose myself again. “Yes.”
“And that is…?”
“When you said that I wouldn’t be able to handle it, what does that mean?”
He blinks, looking a little surprised by the direction this conversation just took. Then a sly smile spreads across his lips instead as he flicks a knowing glance up and down my body. “It means exactly what I said. You wouldn’t be able to handle me.”
Irritation flickers through me. “Based on what?”
His expression hardens and his voice pulses with authority as he snaps, “Get on your knees.”
I start slightly at the utter command in his voice, and then scowl at him.
He smirks. “See? Whenever I tell you to do something, your first instinct is to refuse.”
“That doesn’t count.” I glare at him. “You did that knowing full well that it would surprise me.”
“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” Suspicion suddenly blows across his features as he narrows his eyes at me. “Why are you even asking this, little demon?”
I hold his gaze. “Maybe I’m curious.”
“About what?”
About what it would be like to fuck you. What it would be like to be utterly dominated by you in a way that I have never experienced with anyone. And most of all, I’m curious to know if I would like it as much as I suspect that I would.
But I can’t say that, of course. So I reply, “Curious to know if I can actually handle taking orders from someone.”
“Hmm.”
He continues studying me in silence for another few seconds. My heart is suddenly pounding in my chest.
Outside the windows, a car alarm goes off. The piercing sound is the only thing breaking the stillness before someone eventually shuts it off. I flick a quick glance around the bedroom.
All of my other bodyguards always kept it neat. Jace doesn’t. There are four bats leaning against the wall next to the windows, a few clothes scattered on the dresser, and a shirt that has even slipped down to the floor. And the bed is unmade. For some reason, the sight of those messy sheets makes my pulse race even more.
“Alright,” Jace says at last.
I snap my gaze back to him. His face has become an unreadable mask, but his eyes are intense as he watches me.
“You want to test if you can follow orders?” he asks, though it’s more of a statement.
Making sure to keep my features neutral, I lift my shoulders in a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah.”
“Take off your shirt.” The force of the command cuts through the air like a blade.
I start in surprise. A devilish smile curls his lips, as if he was expecting that reaction. Then he raises his eyebrows, his expression dripping with challenge.
Flashing him a sharp smile to match his own, I hold his gaze while reaching down to grab the hem of my shirt. My heart slams nervously against my ribs as I start pulling off my shirt. But there is also an insane thrill to this whole situation that makes my spine tingle.
Warm air kisses my naked skin as I slip the shirt over my head and then toss it to the floor. I can practically hear my heart pounding in my chest as I stand there, wearing only a bra and pants now, while Jace watches me with eyes intense enough to sear through my very soul.
“Pants too,” he orders without breaking eye contact.
With my eyes locked on his, I start unbuttoning my pants and then slowly slide down the zipper. He never takes his eyes off mine. And he doesn’t look at all affected by what I’m doing.
That sends a pang of self-consciousness through me. Given how experienced Jace is, this is probably nothing special to him. I’m probably nothing special.
Those thoughts make my insides twist painfully, but I manage to keep my expression neutral as I slip my hands underneath my pants and start pushing them down.
After guiding them over my ass and down my thighs, I bend forward to push them all the way down my legs and then step out of them. Pushing the garment to the side with my foot, I straighten once more while trying to keep my heart from thundering too hard.
Right as I straighten, I catch Jace flexing his hand and clenching his jaw. As if he has to physically brace himself for what I look like in only my underwear.
It makes heat flood my cheeks again, and I can’t help another flash of self-consciousness. Shifting my arms, I discreetly try to cover myself a little.
“Don’t cover yourself up,” Jace snaps.
I jerk back in surprise at the roughness of his voice, and let my hands drop back down by my sides again.
“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, so there is no reason for you to hide.”
My mouth drops open. For a few seconds, all I can do is stare at him. Did those words actually come out of his mouth? Is that what he truly thinks?
Panic flashes across Jace’s features. As if he hadn’t meant to say that. Then he clears his throat, and the unreadable mask is back on his face again.
But I’m not about to let him get off that easily, so I open my mouth to comment on it. However, right before I can, Jace issues an order with such utter authority that it pulses through my very soul.
“Now, get down on your knees and crawl to me.”
At first, I can only feel the power of that command vibrating through the air.
Then his words sink in.
Jerking back, I gape at him in disbelief. “What?”
He pushes off from the drawers and strides across the room, power rolling off his broad shoulders as he advances on me. I scramble a step back in surprise. Jace just keeps coming, forcing me to stumble backwards to keep from getting mowed down by him.
My back hits the smooth wall with a thud.
Jace keeps moving until he is standing barely a step away. His bare chest is so close to my naked skin that I can feel the heat radiating from him. My heart hammers against my ribs. It’s so loud that I’m pretty sure he can hear it.
Lightning skitters across my skin as he places two fingers underneath my chin and tilts my head back so that I meet his gaze. I draw in a shuddering breath as he lets his hand drop back down again. But he doesn’t step back. He remains standing there, so close that I can almost feel his body against mine.
“Outside these walls, everyone you meet might jump to obey your every order,” he begins, his eyes searing into mine. “But in here, you obey my commands. So when I tell you to crawl, you fucking crawl. Understood?”
Fire rushes through my veins, and my clit throbs. My heart is beating so hard that it feels as if it’s going to break free from my chest. No one has ever spoken to me like this before. Never.
No one has ever dared to give me orders. And I would never have deigned to respond to such a thing. It would’ve made me furious. But as I stare up into Jace’s stunning face, all I feel is a dark thrill coursing through my spine.
Jace towers over me. And his muscular body blocks out everything else in the room. Physically, I wouldn’t stand a chance against him. He could make me do whatever he wanted with just physical force. And the fact that he doesn’t even use his sheer size and strength to dominate me, the fact that he only uses his voice to assert his authority, somehow makes this whole situation even hotter.
He knows that he’s powerful, and he doesn’t need to prove that. And that kind of confidence is so fucking hot.
“I said, understood?”
“Yes,” I breathe, feeling as if my whole world is tilting on its axis.
Challenge glints in Jace’s eyes as he demands, “Yes, what?”
My thighs clench and my heart stutters. “Yes, sir.”
He leans down, slanting his lips over mine until I can feel his breath dance over my mouth when he says, “Good girl.”
A shudder rolls through my whole body.
He braces his hand against the wall next to my head as he moves closer. My breasts brush against his bare chest with every breath now. His lips hover over mine. Almost touching. Almost kissing. I drag in unsteady breaths. Jace places his other hand on my hip. A tiny moan escapes my throat.
In the span of a heartbeat, Jace yanks his hand off my hip and pulls back.
The move is so sudden, and so unexpected, that I start. And the loss of his nearness is so jarring that all I can do is to blink at him in stunned surprise as he takes several steps back.
“Test concluded,” he announces. A cold smile slides home on his lips as he gives me a dismissive look. “And guess what? You failed. You talk a lot, but when push comes to shove, you won’t actually do it. Which means that you can’t handle it.” He jerks his chin towards the door. “Now, go to bed.”
Anger roars through me like flames. Shoving off from the wall, I stalk towards him. “Do you want to know what I think?”
“No. But I have a feeling you’re about to tell me anyway.”
With a vicious smile full of challenge on my lips, I stride forward. He holds my gaze, letting me back him towards the bed.
“I think you are the one who can’t handle it,” I counter.
He chuckles as he comes to a halt right in front of the bed, and then gives me a look pulsing with warning. “You are out of your league, little demon.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.” Stopping before him, I wrap my hand around the front of his belt and give it a firm yank. “I saw you when I straightened after I took my pants off. You almost blew your load just seeing me in my underwear.” I smirk at him. “So imagine what will happen when I do this.”
Before he can retort, I release his belt and instead reach up behind me to unclasp my bra.
A ripple shoots through his body as I toss my bra aside, leaving my tits on full display only a step away from him.
“Kayla,” he says, his voice now full of warning.
“Or this,” I say as I slide my hands into my panties and push them down.
The muscles in his jaw tick as I step out of my panties, but he keeps his eyes firmly locked on mine. “Put your clothes back on.”
I shoot a pointed look down at his cock, which is straining against his pants in a way that must surely be painful. “Why?” I taunt as I meet his gaze again. “Can’t handle it?”
“You—”
“You talk a lot,” I interrupt, echoing his own words to me and putting even more mocking into my tone. “But when push comes to shove, you won’t actually do it.”
He moves before I can react.
In one fluid motion, he grabs me, spins me around, and shoves me down on the bed. My body is still bouncing on the soft mattress when he appears above me.
Heat spears through my core as he straddles me, the rough fabric of his jeans scraping against my naked skin. Leaning forward, he braces both hands against the sheets on either side of my head as he gets right into my face.
Fire burns in his eyes as he locks them on me. “Is this what you want? Huh? For me to pin you to the bed and tell you what a good girl you are?”
Lust pulses through me, but I manage to keep the mocking expression on my face as I reach up and slide both hands through his messy curls. My heart flutters. Fuck, his hair feels just as soft as it looks.
“No,” I say, smirking up at him as I slide my hands through his hair and down to the back of his neck. “I want you to do something. But you won’t.” Challenge bleeds into both my tone and my smirk. “Because you can’t handle it.”
A shudder rolls through his body as I trace my fingers along the back of his neck. I do it again, and I’m rewarded by the same incredible shiver of pleasure. He licks his lips and flexes his fingers in the sheets.
“You talk a lot of shit for someone within kissing distance,” he says, his voice hoarse.
I yank his mouth down to mine.
Lightning crackles through me as our lips clash. Jace moans into my mouth. The sound makes my heart skip a beat.
His mouth becomes furious, desperate, as he claims my lips with a possessiveness that leaves me breathless. I rake my fingers down his back as he pushes his tongue into my mouth, dominating it with demanding strokes. My head spins.
I roll my hips, grinding my bare pussy against the coarseness of his jeans.
Another moan rips from deep within his lungs.
I draw my hands down the side of his ribs and along the top of his pants.
And I swear a fucking whimper escapes his chest this time.
My heart swells and pleasure pulses through my soul at the sound of it.
Jace takes one hand off the mattress and instead places it on the side of my neck and jaw in a highly controlling and possessive move.
While he steals the breath from my lungs with desperate kisses, I unbuckle his belt and then unbutton his pants before shoving the zipper down. He kisses me furiously while I start pushing his pants down. But I don’t get far because I can’t reach much more than that when he’s pinning me to the bed like this.
With a groan of frustration, Jace reluctantly tears his mouth from mine and sits up. I gasp in desperate breaths while he quickly shifts to the side and strips out of his remaining clothes.
My eyes widen as I take in the size of his cock.
No wonder he’s so cocky and full of swaggering arrogance about his sexual prowess. He has the goods to back it up.
“So that’s why everyone wants to fuck you, huh?” I tease, but my words end up coming out breathless.
A truly devilish smile spreads across his lips as he grabs my thighs and spreads my legs wide, exposing my pussy completely to him. It sends a dark thrill down my spine. But he doesn’t return to his position on top of me. Instead, he settles himself on his knees between my spread legs. His eyes glitter as he leans forward.
“No.” He smirks at me. “This is why everyone wants to fuck me.”
And then he licks my pussy and swirls his tongue around my clit.
Electricity shoots through my every nerve, and I gasp as I arch up from the bed and try to close my legs. Jace’s strong hands remain firmly on my thighs, keeping them spread wide open for him.
Taking my clit into his mouth, he rolls it between his lips.
Pleasure spears through me.
“Jace,” I gasp, trying to close my legs again as a sudden burst of embarrassment pulses through me.
No one has ever done something like this before. What if he hates it? What if I taste bad? What if he thinks it’s gross? What if he thinks I’m gross?
Feeling very self-conscious, I try to close my legs again.
“You don’t have to—” I begin, but then my words are cut off by a moan as Jace takes my clit into his mouth again.
“Fuck, you taste so good,” he murmurs against my pussy.
Heat sears my cheeks and pools at my core at both his words and the way his voice vibrates over my sensitive skin.
He draws his tongue down along my pussy. I suck in shuddering breaths and slide my hands into his hair as pleasure flickers through every nerve in my body.
Jace pushes his tongue inside me.
I gasp up into the ceiling. Gripping his hair hard, I moan and squirm on the soft sheets as he fucks me with his tongue.
“Jace,” I pant.
He swirls his tongue around my clit again.
“God,” I gasp.
His soft chuckle vibrates against my clit. “That’s better.”
Sliding my hands deeper into his hair, I flex my fingers in his soft curls as he licks and teases and fucks me with his tongue until the tension inside me is so intense that I can barely see anymore.
“Jace,” I moan. “Jace, I’m going to?—”
Pleasure shoots through my limbs like bursts of electricity.
My legs shake underneath his strong hands as the orgasm sweeps through my body. My clit throbs between his lips as he continues pleasuring me while I writhe and gasp on the sheets.
Once the last waves have faded, I just lie there on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling and wondering how the hell I have managed to go through my entire life without experiencing something as incredible as that.
Then reality trickles back in, and I realize that Jace is still kneeling between my spread legs with his cock painfully hard.
Raising my head, I meet his eyes. Embarrassment laces my voice as I say, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t… I couldn’t stop it.”
He frowns at me in genuine confusion. “Why would you want to stop it?”
“I—”
My words are cut off by a sharp breath as he draws a light hand over my pussy. But his fingers are gentle as he strokes my sensitive clit until pleasure once more starts building inside me.
“Answer me,” he demands.
It takes a few seconds before I remember the question. My chest heaves as I wiggle on the sheets while he slides his fingers down to my entrance.
“Because I came before you had a chance to come too,” I reply, shooting a look towards his hard cock.
He frowns at me in silence for a second. Then understanding apparently floods his system, because his eyes widen. While tracing my entrance with his fingers, he sighs and shakes his head.
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, and then gives me a look. “You really haven’t been fucking the right kind of guys.”
“What—” I begin.
But right then, he pushes two fingers inside me. I arch up from the bed and then grip the sheets hard. My heart slams against my ribs as Jace carefully adds a third finger, stretching me gently.
“The lady comes first,” he declares, as if that’s the most obvious thing in the world. “At least once. Preferably twice. Then the guy can chase his own release. What kind of selfish idiots have you been fucking if they have made you think that they’re supposed to come first?”
“I, uhm…” I begin, but my mind is scrambled by the feeling of Jace’s fingers inside me.
“Now, are you on birth control?”
“Am I—” A moan tears from my chest and I grip the sheets hard as he scissors his fingers inside me. “What…?”
“Birth control.”
Stars flicker before my eyes, but I manage to press out, “Yes. Yes, I’m on birth control.”
“Good.” He withdraws his fingers and shifts into position above me so that he is bracing himself on the mattress on either side of me instead. His brown eyes glitter as he flashes me a sly smile while brushing the tip of his cock over my entrance. “Because I want to feel you, all of you, when I show you how those other guys should’ve fucked you.”
“I—”
He thrusts his hips.
My eyes widen as his thick cock slides into me. I release the sheets and instead wrap my hands around his biceps. Or I try to, at least. I can’t reach all the way around. But I dig my fingers into his muscles as he slowly pushes his cock deeper.
He’s huge, so faint pain flickers through me with each inch. But he moves slowly, being careful not to hurt me. I shift my hips slightly, creating a better angle.
Pleasure ripples through me when he pushes deeper this time.
Jace keeps his eyes locked on mine, studying the emotions on my face.
With one final push, he sheaths himself fully.
My heart hammers against my ribs at the feeling of him filling me completely like this.
“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he blurts out, sounding astonished.
I suck in a small breath, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe properly.
Jace doesn’t move. He just keeps his cock buried inside me like that, allowing me time to adjust to his size.
Leaning down, he steals a kiss from my lips while murmuring, “So perfect.”
My very soul flutters as warmth fills my body.
Pleasure flickers through my veins again as Jace starts kissing his way down my throat while he pulls his cock out halfway. I drag in unsteady breaths. His lips brush over my throat and down to my collarbones. Then he shoves his cock all the way inside again.
I gasp, and a jolt shoots through me. But it’s a good jolt.
Squirming on the sheets, I shift my hips to match his thrusts as he pulls out and then slams into me again while he kisses a trail down my chest. Moans spill from my lips.
When Jace hears it, he starts up a faster pace.
I tighten my grip on his biceps as he begins thrusting into me with steady commanding moves. Pleasure pulses through me with each thrust. He flicks my nipple with his tongue. I whimper and dig my fingers harder into his muscles.
His movements become harder. Faster. More demanding.
My chest heaves as he pounds into me while he kisses his way back up my throat. Taking one hand off the mattress, he traces it around the curve of my breast before his fingers find my sensitive nipple.
Bright spots dance before my eyes as he rolls my nipple between his fingers while his lips brush over my throat and his massive cock creates insane friction inside me.
The sheer amount of stimulation makes my brain feel like it’s melting.
I suck in desperate breaths as Jace pounds into me.
Tension whirls inside me like a storm as I careen towards another orgasm.
Lifting my hips, I meet him stroke for stroke as he fucks me hard and dominantly. Such a contrast to the softness of his lips on my throat and the gentle teasing of his fingers on my aching nipple. And the combination of it makes it feel as if I’m about to burst with pleasure.
Fucking hell, this man is a god. He works my body as if he knows it better than I do.
I writhe on the soft sheets and flex my hands around his biceps as the edge of the orgasm draws closer. My breaths come in short bursts.
Jace slams into me, hitting a spot deep inside, at the same time as he pinches my nipple.
My eyes fly open and pleasure explodes through my body.
I gasp as my pussy tightens around his thick cock.
A sly smile graces his lips as he lifts his head from my throat and watches as pleasure floods my features.
With powerful thrusts, he keeps fucking me through the orgasm until it feels as if my body is going to unravel from the prolonged stimulation. Then he picks up some more speed, finally chasing his own release. I slam my hips up into his and slide my hands up to his shoulders. Then I rake them down his muscled back while he pounds into me. A moan escapes his throat. I draw my fingers along his ribs. His eyes flutter.
My body rocks back and forth on the bed from his powerful thrusts.
Then a dark groan tears from deep inside him, and pleasure floods his features as well.
I watch, still high on my own release, as light bursts in Jace’s eyes when he comes. His cock pulses inside me.
It’s the most insane thing I have ever experienced. It feels as if my soul has floated away from my body, leaving it utterly spent and bursting with pleasure. I just want to do this again. And again.
I want him to tell me to get down on my knees and crawl to him. Because the next time he says it, I’m going to fucking do it. I want to feel everything that this absolute god of a man can make me feel.
A flash of panic cuts through the blissful haze in my mind, shattering those sinful thoughts like broken glass.
With that sense of panic clanging inside me like giant alarm bells, I stare up at Jace’s stunning face.
Oh fuck. How am I supposed to go back to thinking of him as just my bodyguard now? How am I supposed to go back to thinking of him as just an annoying problem that I need to get rid of?
Fucking shit. What have I done? I shouldn’t have done this. I should never have crossed this line.
My heart pounds like a battle drum in my chest.
Some lines should not be crossed, because there is no uncrossing them.
And this was definitely one of them.