32. Jace
For a long while after that, I just lie there on her bed, holding her close. She rests her hand on my chest, and I’m almost surprised that she can’t feel it through my ribcage how much my heart is breaking for her.
Jesus Christ, to have gone through that, and at such a young age…
I suppress the urge to shake my head.
If anything had happened to Eli or Kaden or Rico, I don’t think I could’ve survived it. But Kayla watched her brother die, found his body, and she has somehow still managed to fight her way out of that pitch black hole of sorrow and become such a radiant person full of life and fire.
“So that’s why Dad is insisting that I always need to have a bodyguard with me,” she says eventually.
Her voice sounds more like her now. Strong. Determined. Confident. As if she has let the grief wash over her and has now reached the other side again. It strengthens something in my own heart.
“To make sure that nothing happens to me,” she continues. “To their one remaining child. But there’s no need for that, because I will never do something as stupid as that again.”
I search her face, noting the lingering pain there. “So you have always had a bodyguard looking over your shoulder? Ever since then?”
“Yes.” She raises her chin, and even though her blue eyes are now full of steel again, I can still hear the frustration and desperation lacing her voice. “Every day. My entire life. I have been watched, monitored, every single minute of my life.” Her expression softens, and she gives me an almost apologetic smile. “Which is why I’ve been giving you so much shit.”
An answering smile blows across my own lips. “Well, to be fair, I’ve been giving you a lot of shit too.”
“Yeah. You really have.”
I let out a surprised laugh as she gives my chest a playful shove. Then her eyes turn serious again.
“Can I ask you something, though?” she says.
My stomach dips at the tone of her voice, but I nod. “Of course.”
“Why did you take this job?”
Indecision flashes through me. I hadn’t planned on telling her this. But after all that she has just shared with me, how can I not?
So I clear my throat and hedge, “After what you just told me, this is going to make me sound like a petulant child.”
To my surprise, she just smiles at that and raises an eyebrow while her eyes glitter with mischief. “As opposed to your default state which is naturally the very picture of maturity?”
A laugh escapes my lungs, and I nudge her with my hip. “Funny.”
“It’s one of my many amazing qualities.” She grins. Then her expression turns serious again, and she cocks her head as she studies my face. “Just tell me. Why did you accept the job to be my bodyguard? From what I understand, you’re still in the middle of your senior year. So why ditch that to babysit me?”
“I, uhm…”
Raising my free hand, I rake it through my hair. I don’t even know how to start. Kayla just keeps watching me with those big blue eyes. I heave a sigh and decide to just go for it.
“Look, the people in my family have been hitmen for generations. So I’m expected to become one as well.”
Her eyebrows climb higher. “You can’t choose a different profession?”
“No.” I grimace. “My father made that clear very early. And I… I didn’t handle that so well. My brothers have no problem with it, but the fact that I don’t have a choice in my own future almost broke me. Which led me to… engage in destructive activities.” I clear my throat. “Anyway, long story short, my father made me a deal. If I successfully handle this bodyguard job, he will let me choose whether or not I become a hitman.”
Shock pulses across her beautiful face. “That’s what you have riding on this? Your entire future?”
“Yeah.”
With that stunned disbelief still swirling in her eyes, she pushes herself up on her elbows so that she can meet my gaze fully. “So wait, let me get this straight.” Lifting a hand, she motions between us. “We’ve been giving each other absolute hell… when in reality, we both just want the same thing. Freedom.”
A laugh rips from my lungs, because she’s absolutely right. Still chuckling at that realization, I nod. “Yeah, it would appear so.”
“Huh.” She sounds astonished.
The mattress bounces underneath me as she drops back down and then twists so that she’s lying on her back next to me instead. For a little while, we just stare up into her pale ceiling. The sun is starting to rise now, casting its first rays over the sleeping city around us.
“How about this?” She turns her head so that she’s looking at me again. “We stop making each other’s lives hell.”
“I can get behind that.” I raise an eyebrow at her. “So… we’re civil?”
She flashes me a devilish grin that makes her eyes glitter like jewels. “Civil-ish.” Then she winks. “Wouldn’t want things to start getting boring around here.”
A laugh, full of both surprise and happiness, escapes my throat. “No, we wouldn’t want that.”