Chapter 23
Juliet
My phone pinged on my bathroom counter. It was nearly midnight, and no one I knew would be awake, even if it was a Friday night.
I picked it up curiously and saw that it was a calendar notification.
I tapped on it and sucked in a breath. After no word from Chester the past few days, his first sign of life was an itinerary change on our shared calendar.
It said he had changed his flight to the next morning.
He was coming back early. I hated how my heart leaped at that, knowing he would be back in New York soon.
His calendar updated again, putting him back in the office on Monday morning.
I could feel my nerves already rising to my throat, knowing I would see him in just two days.
Maybe his time away had given him time to think. There went my wishful thinking…
Then my phone pinged again.
It was a text from Chester.
I held my breath as I opened it.
Chester: Change of plans. I’ll be back Monday. Meet me at 8 AM. It’s about your job.
I read it over again, swallowing hard. There was no warmth to it. All business. No flirt. His time away had clearly changed nothing between us, and now he had me worried about my job. He was going to fire me. I just knew it.
My hand shook as I set the phone on the counter and looked down at my other hand that was holding a pregnancy test.
It was positive.
I looked down at the two pink lines staring up at me and threw it in the sink like it had just bitten me.
I couldn’t stop the force of tears that streamed from my eyes, or the loud cry that escaped my throat.
I clutched the bathroom counter and stared back at the stupid girl who stared back at me. I hated her in that moment.
Hated how bold she had become, thinking she was invincible by making risky choices.
I had never been that girl, and there was a reason for it.
Because I didn’t want to make mistakes. It was safer to tiptoe around people’s feelings.
Safer to stay in situations even when I wasn’t happy.
Safer to please everyone around me, except myself. Safer to stay in my shell.
None of this would have happened if I hadn’t taken that stupid leap of faith. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t taken a new job. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t met Chester.
I shook my head at myself just as a roll of nausea hit me. I ran for the toilet and hurled into it for the fourth time that night. I groaned as I flushed the toilet and lay down on the bath rug beside me. I wanted to stay curled up in a ball here in my apartment forever.
And I did stay there, at least for the night, until the morning light streamed through my bathroom window and fluttered against my eyelids.
“No,” I groaned, unwelcome to the morning and a new day.
I peeled myself from the floor and went to the bathroom sink to splash my face with cool water and brush my teeth, desperate to get the vomit taste out of my mouth. It was there that I saw the positive pregnancy test staring up at me. Reminding me of everything.
A single warm tear streamed down my cheek as I picked it up.
As I stared at it, I really thought about what it meant.
I was going to be a mom. I had a baby growing inside of me at that very moment.
A baby I hadn’t expected or wanted or imagined.
And then it dawned on me that it was Chester’s, as if that weren’t obvious.
The thought put a crack in my heart because if he wanted nothing to do with me, how would he feel about a baby?
I had so many thoughts to sort through and the only people I could think to talk to about them were my best friends, who had been in the dark about these past few weeks with Chester.
I wasn’t sure why I had kept it from them.
Maybe I liked having this secret that was my own, making the whole affair that much more fun.
Or, maybe, I knew they would worry. But now, I couldn’t care about any of that. I needed my best friends.
I washed up and got some breakfast in me, if you could call buttered toast breakfast, but it was the only thing I could hold down.
The sickness I had been experiencing the past few days all made sense now.
Morning sickness should really be called “any time of day sickness.” When I was sure I wasn’t going to vomit, I picked up my phone and called Gabriella.
“Hello?” she answered, the sound of cartoons on in the background.
“Hey, Gabs,” I said, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice.
“What’s wrong?” she immediately asked.
It was worth a try.
“Can you come over?” I sniffed, feeling the tears threatening to fall. I was really growing tired of all this crying.
“Yes. Of course,” she said, with no hesitation.
“Can you bring Sadie too?” I asked.
“Yes. We’ll be there soon.” I heard the click of the TV turning off and the protest of her toddler, Melodie, before Gabriella hung up the phone.
I suddenly felt a pang of guilt for interrupting my friend’s peaceful Saturday morning with her daughter, but also grateful that my friends would drop anything to be with me when I needed them.
I tidied up the apartment while I waited, finding distraction in household chores.
I was just fluffing up the couch when there was a knock at my door.
“Coming,” I called out as I padded across the living room floor, still in my pajamas from the night before.
I opened the door to see both Sadie and Gabriella standing there with worried expressions etched on their faces.
They pulled me into a hug and I let the tears flow.
It was wonderous how best friends just knew exactly what you needed.
Mine were no different as they practically carried me into my apartment and we all sunk into the couch together.
“What’s going on?” asked Sadie worriedly, tucking a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear as she eyed me warily.
“You have us freaked, girl,” said Gabriella, raising her dark brows.
I reached behind me into the pocket of my striped pajama pants and pulled out the positive pregnancy test. Both Sadie’s and Gabriella’s eyes nearly popped out of their heads when they saw it in my hand.
“Oh, my God!” Gabriella practically yelled.
“You’re pregnant?” asked Sadie, in an equally shrill voice.
“Apparently. If this didn’t prove it, the morning sickness did,” I said forlornly.
“How?” asked Sadie.
“Who?” asked Gabriella more pointedly.
I buried my face in my hands and let out a sob. “I don’t know,” I cried.
I took a few minutes to gather myself, as my friends waited patiently beside me.
“Y-you remember that show we went to?” I asked Sadie. “You know, the concert with Jeremiah. I met my friend Sarah there, too.”
“Yeah. That Will guy’s show, right?”
“Mhmm.” I nodded.
“When I was out of town?” asked Gabriella.
“Yeah. Well, I met someone there that night,” I said, looking between both my friends’ curious faces.
“The mystery guy you snuck off with?” asked Sadie in shock. “He’s the one?” She pointed me up and down, as if to say he was the one who did this to me.
“What mystery guy?” asked Gabriella, chirping in loudly.
“She was making out with him on the dance floor,” said Sadie, slinging her thumb in my direction. “They snuck out together. He was hot.”
I pushed her playfully, hating and loving that she could make me laugh when I felt like I was falling apart.
“Who is this guy?” asked Gabriella, looking to me.
“Well, the truth is…I had already met him that morning…”
“Huh?” asked Sadie, clearly confused.
“We work together,” I said, realizing how vague I was sounding, and how many details I was omitting.
“At accounting?” asked Sadie.
I shook my head.
“Juliet. Girl. Spill,” said Gabriella, crossing her arms.
“He’s sort of my boss. Like the boss of everyone,” I said with a sheepish look on my face, as I wanted to sink into the couch behind me and disappear.
“As in…” started Sadie, piecing it together. “The CEO. The owner. The head fucking honcho.”
“You mean, Chester Brandfield?” asked Gabriella wide-eyed as she looked at me.
“You’ve heard of him?” I asked meekly.
“Oh, my God!” Sadie slapped my shoulder.
“Ouch,” I said, holding in a laugh as I rubbed my stinging arm.
“I knew he looked familiar!” said Sadie, shaking her head.
Gabriella pulled out her phone and started typing frantically.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Looking him up, of course!” she said quickly, her eyes darting across the screen. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell—Oh, my God, Juliet! He’s practically a GQ model!”
“See? I told you!” said Sadie, leaning over me to look at Gabriella’s phone.
I could feel heat filling my cheeks that were surely turning bright red as my two best friends scrolled and zoomed in on photos of Chester right in front of me.
“Are we done now?” I asked, raising a brow.
Gabriella quickly locked her phone and set it on the couch next to her. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly.
“But really, Juliet. Good for you,” said Sadie with a smirk. “He’s all over the gossip mags as the city’s hottest bachelor.”
“And an apparent sex god,” said Gabriella.
I looked at her confused.
“It’s what the article said.” She shrugged.
“So, is he?” asked Sadie.
“Sadie!” I exclaimed. I laughed softly and ran my hands through my hair, my cheeks still burning.
“He is. He totally is! Look at your face!”
I groaned and sunk backward into the couch.
“Best sex of my life,” I said, covering my face with a pillow.
The girls squealed excitedly, practically jumping on the couch.
“Good looking. Rich. Single. Zaddy,” said Gabriella. “You have it made. So what’s the problem?”
This only made me feel worse, as if him being New York’s hottest bachelor or him being a billionaire were the only reasons I liked him.
Those weren’t even on the list. Well, he was hot…
but still. I didn’t want to trap him with a baby.
That was never my intention. But at the same time, the thought of having a baby made my heart feel a whole new happiness I had never experienced.
I had always wanted to be a mother, and while I hadn’t expected it now or with a man I hardly knew, I couldn’t help but start to feel excited about the thought. What if now was my only chance? Chester might not want this, but I did.
“The problem is, I’m not sure he wants to be a dad. Or that he wants anything to do with me anymore…” I let out a sob before telling them everything that had happened the past few weeks.
The transfer at work. All the games we played. How ridiculous I had acted to get his attention. The night in his office. How he had distanced himself. The threatening note and photo of us that I found on my desk.
“Wow,” said Gabriella, sitting back on the couch and shaking her head.
“This is…a lot,” said Sadie, sucking in a deep breath.
“Tell me about it.” I sighed, putting my fingers to my temples and giving them a gentle massage.
“What are you going to do?” asked Gabriella softly.
I stayed quiet for a moment, thinking.
“I’m keeping the baby,” I said with a nod of certainty. “No matter what.”
Sadie and Gabriella nearly flung themselves at me, pulling me in for a tight hug. I could barely breathe between the two of them. When they released me, they both had relieved looks on their faces.
“But I don’t really know what to do from there…” I said, looking between them both, feeling the fear creep in.
“Good thing you have us for friends because we’ve been there,” said Sadie with a smile that tugged at one side of her lips.
And they had. My friends had unconventional starts to their families and marriages, both in the workplace. They were an anomaly to reality. There was no way that I, too, could have what they had.
“You should tell Chester,” said Gabriella.
“And soon,” added Sadie. “The longer you wait, the worse it is.”
I nodded in agreeance, even though it seemed like the most impossible thing. He barely looked at me anymore, let alone talked to me. The last thing he wanted to hear from me was that I was pregnant with his baby.
“Can we talk about something else?” I asked, desperate to change the subject. “At least, for a little while.”
“Of course.” Gabriella nodded, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze.
“We are yours for as long as you need us. To talk. To not talk. We’re here for you,” said Sadie before texting her husband to let her know she was having a girls’ day and that she’d be home late. Gabriella did the same.
“Want to watch a movie?” I asked, raising a brow.
“Only if there’s ice cream,” said Gabriella, heading toward the kitchen.
“And PJs,” said Sadie, heading toward my bedroom.
“Second drawer from the top,” I called after her as I pulled a blanket over me and snuggled into the couch with a smile. It was the first genuine smile I’d had in a while.