Chapter 13
The ambiance of the beach was a balm to Lena's nerves. Gentle waves lapping in the surf, the ocean breeze so full of salt she could taste it, the warm sand between her toes—all of it calmed her and invigorated her at the same time.
She smiled when he pointed out the two light-blue Adirondack chairs. "A perfect spot," she said.
His gaze mingled with hers a moment longer than necessary. Unbidden, breath-snatching, fluttering chaos was taking place in her chest. And it needed to stop.
She focused on the chairs and picked up her pace. If they sat and watched the ocean, they could casually enjoy each other's company, and she wouldn't have to look at him. Much safer plan than staring into his blue-gray eyes.
Focus on the ocean, girl. Not the godly, handsome protector. He's just doing his job. Nothing more.
They settled in the chairs and she shoved her toes into the sand, purposefully keeping her focus on the waves.
He sat next to her, his Adirondack chair inches from hers.
In her peripheral vision, she watched him lean back and shove his feet into the sand.
It was the most relaxed she'd ever seen him. And now she was looking at him again.
"Not a bad way to kill a few minutes," he said.
"Not at all." She had to agree with that.
Two minutes of blissful, comfortable silence floated between them, the ocean's rhythm gradually dismantling her anxiety.
"I'm impressed with the courage you had to come out here looking for Cassidy," Nash said.
And just like that, his words popped her bubble of serenity, provoking guilt and shame. Frustration licked her insides.
"I'm not brave. I'm not courageous. I haven't had the backbone to do the right thing for a long time. Don't say that about me."
He sat up so quickly it jerked her attention to his eyes.
"Whoa," he said. "I didn't mean to upset you. It was a compliment. Despite what you're telling yourself, it was a brave thing to come looking for Cassidy. Your cousin is in an unsafe situation, and you traveled all the way to the Caribbean to protect her. I'm just saying I admire that."
She shrank a little, embarrassed by her outburst. She could have just accepted his compliment and kept staring at the ocean. But no, she opened her mouth. Awkwardness chafed between them.
Way to go, Lena.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I haven't slept well and—"
"I know you're referring to the situation with your family. I'm sorry if I struck a nerve. That wasn't my intention."
"I know you didn't. It's just . . . I don't deserve your compliments.
I thought about this a lot last night. I couldn't sleep after .
. . well, after everything that happened.
I do care about Cassidy. But I didn't come out here on some kind of selfless crusade, only thinking of Cassidy's well-being.
I think my main motivation for rushing after Cassidy was feeling terrified of being alone.
Cassidy's the only member of my family I trust right now.
She's really my only friend. When she took off, I wasn't just lonely.
I was scared. I was afraid to be alone."
She rubbed her upper arms, suddenly feeling chilled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to unload that on you. I should save it for the therapy appointment I need to make. Anyway, I just want you to stop crediting me with a selfless act."
A need for clarity compelled her to lean forward. "I'm still going to find Cassidy though. Whether I came for selfish reasons or not, I do care about her, and I won't leave here without her."
That mountain of quiet strength stared at her with emotions simmering in his gaze she didn't understand. He whispered, "I know."
A pelican swooped, skimmed the water, then rose to the sky again.
The motion snatched their attention. Watching the pelican fly off, she leaned back in her chair and refocused on the ocean.
Maybe they could just pretend her emotional outburst hadn't sullied their tranquil beach escape.
She tried to think of something casual to say as the silence bloomed between them.
But Nash spoke first. "You're never really alone, you know."
"You don't have to . . . Let's just forget it." She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt and turned her focus to the horizon.
She felt his eyes on her.
He reached over, squeezed her hand, then let go. "We're never really alone. God doesn't leave you, Lena. I'm no theologian, but I know that much. He's with you. He doesn't leave."
She nodded, hoping that was enough of an answer because her throat was too thick to trust with words.
Silence settled between them again. She watched the waves and spotted three dolphins leaping in the distance. And more pelicans. And a sailboat. The view was amazing.
But of course, she couldn't turn off her thoughts.
She hadn't sought God's presence when she'd felt alone.
Probably because she didn't want his prompting about how she should investigate her family's business.
And deep down, she knew that's what she needed to do.
Deep down, she knew they were guilty. She knew in her bones that if she opened her dad's files, if she dug through her uncle's computer, checked her aunt's records, she would find evidence the FBI could use to put them away for a long time.
Doing that . . to her family . . .felt so scary. The thought fell out of her mouth before she could harness it.
"I don't have the courage to do that."
Nash straightened. And pivoted until he fully faced her. "To investigate your family?"
She nodded.
"Lena, I don’t think anyone automatically has the courage to do the hard stuff. It would be arrogant to think someone could just look deep inside themselves and find the courage or strength to do something that difficult. To do something like that, you need God's help."
She refocused on the dolphins so he wouldn't see the moisture pooling in her eyes.
His words burned through her. The truth simultaneously painful and comforting.
For the first time, she felt like maybe if she just held her family accountable, that maybe bringing them to justice would bring her some peace. She'd never considered that. She'd always assumed she'd be miserable if they were in prison, publicly humiliated for their crimes.
It wouldn't be easy. But maybe her clear conscience would afford her heart some peace.
She buried her toes deeper in the sand, still refusing to let him see the tears she was trying to blink from her eyes. Nash's words—about her never being alone—echoed in her mind.
"My life will completely change if I turn them in," she said. "Maybe that will be a good thing. The business will fold."
"Would you want to run the business on your own?"
She laughed at that. "No. Not for all the money in the world.
I've never enjoyed it. I like helping people, and occasionally there have been a few customers I've enjoyed helping.
But overall? I don't like the real estate business.
It's kind of strange to say that. Because honestly, I'm good at it.
I'm better at it than my uncle. I just don't enjoy it. "
"What do you enjoy? If you made a career change, if you could do anything, what would you do?"
She tucked her hair behind her ears. "Well, there's a family I met through my grandmother's church. She introduced us when they needed to expand their business. I helped them buy a new property for their animal therapy nonprofit."
"Animal therapy?"
"Yes." She felt herself smile. "I've been out there a few times.
They do wonderful work. They offer therapy to veterans, victims of trauma, and people dealing with anxiety.
They help them manage their anxiety and emotional pain with the help of dogs, horses, mini-horses, donkeys, even goats.
It's a nonprofit that allows them to share Jesus' love with clients while they're working with the animals.
It's a beautiful, relaxing place. Working at a place like that would be a dream job. "
The turn in the conversation gave her enough confidence to reestablish eye contact. But she wasn't prepared for everything in his gaze.
Admiration. Surprise. And something else. It lingered between them. For a whole five seconds she thought he was going to kiss her. And she wanted him to. Her heart hammered against her ribs.
Until the trill of her phone slammed the brakes on . . . whatever was about to happen. She tried to catch her breath—which was acting all kinds of wonky—as she searched her purse for her phone. She pulled it out and checked the screen. And lost her breath all over again.
The call was from Cassidy.
She stared at the screen, wondering if she was only seeing what she wanted to see or if it was really Cassidy's name.
Nash moved closer, brushing her shoulder. "Answer it."
She answered the call.
"Lena, where are you?"
"Cassidy? Oh, my goodness! Where are you? I'm on Isadora Island. I came looking—"
"What? Why are you here?" Her tone held more complaint than questions. "Never mind. I thought it might be you. I heard Emil talking about a new dog-sitter that Victoria hired and that her name was Lena. And I just had this feeling. Oh, Lena, you shouldn't have come here."
"Are you okay, Cass? Are you safe? Emil isn't who you thought he was. You need to leave with me today. You need—"
"I know Emil stole those jewels. That's what you're talking about. I didn't know what happened until I got here. But—"
"Where are you? I have to see you. You can explain later. Where can I meet you?"