11.
“Kase,” I hear myself say when my feet leave the floor and my back makes contact with the bed.
There’s no reprieve. No break. He picks right back up where he left off – with his tongue buried in my mouth, prohibiting speech as his lengthy body settles on top of mine.
I try my best to breathe, but it’s difficult with the newness of this – with his weight bearing down on me as his tongue compromises my airways.
Add my pounding heart to the mix and I’m close to death.
Still, I try my best to lock my tongue with his and devour it like he’s devouring mine.
I taste, sop up, and inhale his lips. My goodness!
How did I go years without this? Without him?
I must’ve been living under a rock, getting by just doing the same ol’ same ol’.
But not today. Today, I’m claiming what I want. What’s mine.
I manage a sharp inhale of breath when he releases my mouth and lifts his head slightly to look at me.
His face…
My goodness, his gorgeous face. He’s devastatingly handsome.
The kind of handsome that makes your brain spasms. That makes you question your existence and pinch yourself back into reality.
Is it the rich brown skin and sharp jawline that sends my pulse racing?
Or is it the full, perfectly-shaped beard that frames a pair of full lips – lips that were just inside of my mouth?
I bite my lip, reliving it. I wonder how much longer we’re going to be locked in like this – just staring at each other.
Reacquainting.
Remembering.
I trace his lips with my index finger while my senses take everything in. He smells masculine. Addictive. Warm spice, soap, and his pheromones – that’s what I smell. I pull in deep breaths of him, feeling the heaviness of him resting against my thigh as his gaze grows hungrier by the second.
The heat radiating from his body builds the tension, the anticipation of what he’s thinking about doing to me.
His stare reveals desire in his eyes, but it’s not just fire.
It’s awe. Adoration. Appreciation. And when I can’t take it anymore – when I feel the visceral need for his lips to be touching mine, for his beard to scrape against my skin, his hand to grip my neck, I lift up and connect my mouth to his.
He seals the connection with his mouth, kissing me back down to my pillow. Kissing me for all the years he couldn’t. He makes love to my mouth, bathing me with his tongue, making up for lost time.
This is surreal. Something out of a dream. Something I never could have imagined, but it’s happening so fast and suddenly, it has to be reality.
My toes curled twenty minutes ago and have yet to release them. My internal organs feel rejuvenated. Reconditioned. Goosebumps tatter my skin. I’m—
I don’t know what I am, but I love this feeling. I wish I could bottle it up and save some for later because taking him in these mighty doses is overpowering my heart.
“I love you, Giada,” he tells me, his wet lips brushing against mine.
“I love you, too, Kasim.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Did you love me all those years ago?” he asks softly. “Hmm?”
“I did.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, alternating between grazing his teeth on my neck and leaving kisses.
My body jerks at the feel of his mouth touching my skin. At his teeth teasing to destroy my nervous system.
“Honestly, I was scared.”
“Scared of what, baby?” he asks, his lips steadily fluttering against my skin.
Baby . I’m his baby. The term of endearment floats from his mouth tenderly. Easily. Possessively. It sinks into my chest and further affirms that I’m his. He’s claiming me. Cherishing me. I’ll always love this man.
“Tell me,” he asks seductively. “What were you scared of?”
“I was scared of what love could’ve done to us. We were young, Kase.”
“I know.”
“Too young to have those kinds of feelings.”
“But we had them. They were there,” he says.
“They were, but one mistake and I could’ve ended up pregnant—”
“Nothing between us would’ve been a mistake. Nothing. My feelings for you were real. They became more and more potent as the years went by, and they’re still here, alive and well. My feelings for you have never waned.”
“Neither have mine for you, Kase. All these years, I’ve been waiting for you. I just tried to convince myself that I wasn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because of who you were. I figured you’d be married to some amazing woman with some amazing little kids by now.”
He grins. “I am married to an amazing woman.”
He kisses my lips again, settling between my legs.
I love this feeling – love being with him. It’s rare that people like me get what we want out of life. This time, I won. I have him, and he loves me.
More tears fall from my eyes and run down to my ears. I say, “Kasim, I love you so much.” I lift my head to kiss his lips, pulling him down to me again. His lips feel right against mine. His body is right against mine. Everything is right.
“I need you.” He closes his eyes briefly, then reopens them and says, “Let me be more specific. I need to make love to you, Giada.”
“I know.”
“Do you want me?”
“I do,” I answer breathlessly.
“May I take this off?” he asks, tugging at my nightgown.
I nod slowly.
He pulls my nightgown up over my head, staring down at my heaving chest. He’s never seen me naked before. I’ve never seen him naked. This is a new experience for us.
“Your body is beautiful,” he tells me, tracing my breasts with his index finger. “Everything about you is beautiful.”
I let his words consume me while he explores. In an instant, he dips his head, his mouth to my softness, tasting me. Consuming me. Becoming acquainted with me. The feeling of his warm mouth has my entire body quivering.
“Mmm.” He groans deeply – sounds like a rumble of thunder flowing through him to me.
“G?” he says against my lips.
“Yes?”
“Why do you look scared?”
“I’m not scared. I’m just—I—I’ve never done this.”
“Me either.”
“But I want to. Please don’t think that I don’t.”
He says, “I want you to be okay. I’m not trying to seduce you.”
I giggle. “Is it really seduction when I want you just as much as you want me, husband?”
He smiles. “I guess not, wife.”
His lips crash into mine again, our mouths marrying and saying wordless vows of forever and ‘til death do us part’ because nothing or no one will wreck us this time.
His hands explore my body, sending chills down my spine at his touch. I move and jerk, responding to him. His mouth on my breasts has me gasping for air, fighting to breathe. He only stops to stand and remove his shorts.
Oh my…he’s removing his shorts…
I look over at him, first seeing the ‘G’ on his chest, then my eyes travel down the line of hair that floats across his center, down past his navel to the thickness, the heaviness that has me reeling.
I’ve never seen him this way, and something about seeing him naked makes my body ache for him even more.
He’s completely astonishing. Full grown.
My eyes widen to behold just how grown he is.
It’s intimidating. It has my insides bracing for what’s to come, yet I want everything.
He crawls back onto the bed. His naked body lowering to mine – surreal. The warmth of him against me has to be one of those events that will forever be stained in my memory. Skin-to-skin, we burn for each other. Yearn for each other. We solidify our union before we’re even joined physically.
“G, I don’t have any con—”
“You don’t need any.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod quickly and say, “I’m on birth control.”
“You are?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Why?”
“Because it helps with my cycle.”
He kisses me after positioning himself between my legs, taking his time sucking on my tongue and thoroughly covering every part of my mouth. My lips, he’s kissed and sucked on them so much, they feel bigger. My breasts ache for his mouth. My middle is a tropical rainforest for his—”
“Ah,” I grimace when I feel his fullness entering me – stretching me – leaving me pulsating with heat and seeking relief from the pressure. The feeling is foreign, yet, I feel like my body is his home, so I willingly let him inside what’s always been his.
“Oh, mmm,” I moan as she sinks slowly.
“You okay?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Be honest with me, baby.”
“I am. I’m okay.”
“Okay, baby,” he says, deepening our connection as I shriek and moan. There’s pain. There’s pressure. There’s pleasure. Desire. Lust. Love. Requited love. The blend of them has me emotional. Tears form in my eyes while he settles.
“Giada.”
I open my eyes, look at him, and when our eyes connect, I lose it. The tears fall when I think about us and the long, miserable, lonely, bumpy road we traveled to get back to this place. To us. We foundeach other again.
We found love.
“Kase...” I say desperately, holding on tightly to him while surrendering my body. It belongs to him – always has. My mind, heart – all of it is his. It has always been. That’s why I didn’t brace myself for the sheer thickness of him. Whatever I can’t handle, I trust he’ll talk me through it.
“Open your eyes and look at me, baby.”
I open them. Look at him. They land on his beautiful dark ones, bearing down on me like the heat from the sun on a hot, steamy summer day.
“I’m going to move a little. It may feel a little uncomfortable, but if anything hurts, I want you to stop me, okay?”
“It’s fine, Kase. I don’t want you to be afraid of hurting me. I’ve loved you all my life. I would be lying if I never imagined us this way. Now, make love to me. I don’t want you to hold anything back.”
He smiles and says, “Yes, ma’am.”
His lips graze mine before he kisses me tenderly, yet desperately – balancing them both like an expert.
I send slow strokes up and down his back with my fingertips while mentally telling myself this is happening.
I know it’s happening, but it feels so good, it’s like a dream.
He assures me it’s not when I feel him move inside of me, stretching me and causing my sensitive nerves to send pleasure signals to my brain.
I’m so glad I waited for him – for this – even when I didn’t know what I was waiting for. It was worth the agony.
He arches his back and moves, sending another wave through me.
Pulling his tongue from my mouth, he whispers in my ear, “It feels so good to be home. I love you so much, Giada. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you—how long I’ve dreamed about making love to you.
Mmm, babygirl. If I died right now, my life would be complete. ”
He moves faster. I hold on and close my eyes when the sensation of something foreign building inside of me as his body moves and fills me.
Tears come to my eyes all on their own. I dig my fingernails into his shoulders as the ball of pleasure bursts, fragmenting me.
Shaking me. I topple, scream to the ceiling, and fill this room with the sounds of my desire – adorning this large house with his name.
“Kase, Kase, Kasim!”
Just when I thought the wave had run its course, my body trembles beneath him more. I’m reeling, so gone, I almost disconnect from myself.
Kasim utters something incoherent and moans. It almost sounds primal, like a growl.
“Giada,” he hums, followed by more moans that are light and airy. The noises he makes…
My chest moves up and down quickly as I breathe rapidly to not only claim the new sensations coursing through my body, but also to contain the way he’s making love to me. His movements are more concentrated. Longer. Deeper.
“Ah,” he breathes, arching his back and angling his face to the ceiling before lowering himself to me again.
“Giada,” he says, licking my lips and then groaning in my ear as his love fills me. The warmth floods me completely as my muscles tighten. And then he falls until his face is buried in my neck.
“Oh, Giada,” he moans. His body trembles. I feel tears running down my neck.
“Kase, it’s okay,” I say, but his body is steadily jerking as he succumbs to pleasure. “Kase, I love you.”
He sniffles. The sound makes tears come to my eyes. “You don’t know the torture I went through to get back to you. You don’t know, Giada.” He sniffles again. “You don’t know.”
“I have an idea.”
He sits up. The tears have since drained from his eyes when he says, “I’m never losing you again.”
“Good. Then we’re on the same page.”
He disconnects from me physically, but emotionally, we’re connected for life. Pulling me into his arms, he says, “We should’ve been this way a long, long time ago, but I was in no position to change things.”
“Neither was I,” I say. “We were too young...”
“We should’ve run away together,” he says.
“Like Romeo and Juliet?”
He laughs. “No. Definitely not like them! They didn’t make it. I mean, we could’ve run away—did our own thing.”
“What would that have done to our parents?”
“Don’t know,” he says, gently stroking my back. “My parents were more into each other than me. They probably wouldn’t have known I was missing.”
“My mother would’ve known immediately. She had a tight rein on me. I mean, after all, look at what she did to us.”
He leans forward, leaves a kiss on my temple, and says, “We’ll have to deal with her later.”
“Yeah.”
“For now, I just want to enjoy you.”
“Well, I’m not going anywhere, so you can enjoy all you want. You already tricked me into marrying you. I’m yours now.”
“You are, and don’t ever forget it.”