Chapter 7
I don’t understand why they want to deal with all this right now when all I want to do is wallow. They asked if I wanted to tag along, but the idea of going to his place without him felt too overwhelming.
Liv won’t be here for two more days, and Sam is helping his dad with something. Looking around my parents’ living room, I notice the dust collecting on the bookcase.
Cleaning it is.
I pull up the notes app on my phone and make a quick list of the tasks I want to complete.
Wash the bedding. I list out each bedroom separately.
Deep clean the bathrooms and kitchen. Vacuum, sweep, and mop the floors.
For each major category, I list the smaller tasks, including emptying and restocking the fridge.
Checklists are a great way of tricking my brain into actually completing the task. Otherwise, I get bored and distracted, and it doesn’t hurt to have the little dopamine bursts as I cross items off the list.
When Ethan and I were kids, we would wake up every Saturday morning, watch an hour of cartoons, eat breakfast together, and then help my parents clean the house.
Mom would blast music in the background for us.
I loved listening to her sing along to the Mama’s I trace his movement as he slowly reaches for me before stopping and letting his hand fall to his side.
His expression is torn. I know he’s holding something back from me. I just don’t know what it is. I don’t respond because I’m unsure of what to say.
If he had kept pushing for me to talk to him, would things have been different between us? Would I have gotten over him?