Chapter Ten
Smith
It was torture dragging myself out of bed. Especially with Cara still wrapped in blankets and sleeping peacefully. But I have a plan.
We slept through dinner and Darla hadn’t batted an eye when I came downstairs barefoot and mussed. She found everything I asked for and I got to work.
I know what happened today is just the first step, the first leap back to what we were.
Cara’s holding something back, something about what caused her to leave me, to send us both down a long road of heartache.
She’s never been one to face something head-on, but I need to know.
If I don’t, I’m not sure how to fully mend the black hole that has started to close since coming to this town.
The door to my room creaks open ever so slightly, but Cara doesn’t stir.
Even when I slide under the covers and press my body to hers, she stays asleep.
I nuzzle my nose into her now dry hair planting kisses along her silky-smooth skin.
She lets out a groan, her hand coming up to my shoulder smacking me with a weak swat.
“I was sleeping,” she complains in a raspy voice.
I kiss her neck again. “I know. But I have something for us. Get up.” She groans pitifully as she rolls over, her hands rising above her head as she stretches.
Even like this, all sleep rumpled and stretching, she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
Unable to help myself, I lean down and plant a sweet kiss on her lips before pulling myself away and off the bed.
“C’mon sleepy head.” For good measure, I smack her delicious ass and am rewarded with a playful squeal.
Cara grumbles under her breath as she crawls out of my bed shooting me dirty looks. She doesn’t complain when I toss her one of my T-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. Both will be too big on her but our clothing isn’t dry yet. As she slept I wrung out the water that I could and hung them up to dry.
She asks where we’re going as she dresses and scoffs when I don’t answer. I simply smile and grab several blankets and wait for her by the door. She flips her now dry long dark hair, her earrings glimmering in the lamplight as she stops in front of me and takes the blanket I offer.
Her eyes widen as I lead us out into the hallway. “Smith,” she whispers. “What are we doing? People will see us.” I slide my arm across her shoulders pulling her against my side.
“Don’t worry, Care. We’ll be fine.” She leans into me as I kiss her head and breathe in the scent of her hair. “I think you’ll like it.”
Cara’s eyes dance in every direction as I guide her down the stairs and out the side door.
The crisp, chilly air smells faintly of leaves, our breaths leaving a trail of steam as we walk down the steps and onto the gravel walkway.
The rain stopped sometime while we slept, leaving its wet sheen to dance in the starlight.
Firelight blinks in the distance and Cara gasps. The smile she gives me makes my heart stop, so breathtakingly beautiful. “What did you do?”
“A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I thought you’d enjoy having dinner with me.
” I shrug, smiling down at her. I spot Hank the closer we get a give a wave of thanks for watching over the firepit while I woke up sleeping beauty.
He gives a curt nod before disappearing into the trees, presumably heading back to the house.
The gravel walkway spills out into a wide circle, a blazing fire roaring in the center. Four Adirondack chairs are spaced around the pit, two of them scrubbed dry for us. There’s a low table settled between them, an array of food waiting to be eaten.
Cara’s stomach lets out an angry rumble at the sight of the food and I pull her close to me as we laugh. “I guess I am hungry,” she admits sheepishly.
I make sure she’s settled, tucked carefully into the chair with her blanket blocking her from the cold. Her smile is carefree and unguarded as we eat in the firelight.
This is the side of her I’ve been missing. She talks openly about her life in Rose Prairie, her friends, and her business. In the course of an afternoon, everything shifted.
The soft glow of the firelight reflects off her dark hair, now shimmering with flecks of red and gold usually hidden in the light of day. Each laugh, every smile, works to ease the hole she left.
She humors my questions, playfully teasing me about my inquisitive nature.
In return, she peppers me with questions about my life back in the city.
The longer we talk in the dim firelight, the more this whole thing feels like a dream.
Was it only a few days ago when our lives collided for the second time?
Hours pass as we find each other again.
We’re both different and yet the same. What we had in the past clicks together in the present, every piece of the puzzle fitting perfectly. Except one…
The crackling fire draws my gaze, and I lean forward resting my elbows on my knees. Hypnotizing flames lock me into their dance, my mind focusing on the one thing that doesn’t make sense: why she had left me in the first place.
Cara must sense my shift in focus because she leans into her chair and sighs, her hands clasped around the warm mug of hot chocolate.
“This was a good idea. Well done, Smith.” She’s folded her legs on the seat, the blanket draped over her.
She looks so fucking perfect sitting in front of me.
So relaxed as she tilts her head back to look at the star-flecked sky.
I hum in response, turning back to the flames and sucking in a steadying breath.
Because I know the question I’m about to ask could shatter this illusion of perfection.
Ruin the work it’s taken to get us to this point.
The point where the woman I’m in love with, have been in love with, could tuck tail and run.
Run away from me, away from everything we could be.
My eyes slide closed, gathering this moment in my memory, of how we are right now.
Her quiet voice cuts through the stillness. “What are you thinking about? You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.” The fire lets out a loud pop, the embers catching in the breeze.
“I’m not sure you want to know,” I admit, letting out a sigh.
She waits patiently as I gather the strength to ask the question that’s been burning in me for years.
Emotion stings my eyes, my throat clearing on impulse.
“Why did you leave?” My voice breaks on the question, overcome with emotion.
Tears fill my eyes and I look at Cara. “I don’t understand what happened, what I did to have you leave me without a trace.
I looked for you, you know. Your apartment, friend's houses, places we hung out at. I can’t figure out why. ”
Cara freezes, her eyes welling with tears. She swallows, those perfect lips parting slightly before closing again. It’s like she’s on the verge of telling me what happened before shutting down again. Her face, like mine, is twisted with grief.
“Please,” I beg.
As if in a daze, Cara sets her mug on the table between our two chairs, the blanket wrapped around her shoulders slipping down to her waist. She rolls her shoulders giving me a hint about the emotions rolling through her.
“Smith,” she starts, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I can’t give you an ans—”
“Bullshit,” I hiss. “You know exactly why you left.” Anger and hurt simmer underneath my skin. “I love you and you can’t even tell me the truth.” My head shakes in disbelief, my hair scraping against my forehead with the movement.
Tears stream freely down her face as she stands, gathering the blanket around her. “I can’t do this. I need to go.”
“Right,” I murmur, linking my hands together. “Go and do what you do best. Run off and take my heart with you.”
Her face scrunches as tears drip down her chin and onto my shirt. She takes off at a quick pace, running away from me.
Again.
I don’t watch her leave because I fear the sight of her back shrinking into the darkness would be my undoing. I deserve to have an answer, to have closure on what happened six years ago. We both deserve that, because how else can we move on? How else can we grow?
Her footsteps have faded, but the sound of her boots on the gravel walkway lingers in my ears long after she's gone. The slowly dying fire is my only companion in the dark, cool night. I can’t bring myself to leave this spot, to push myself out of this seat and trudge up the stairs to the room where we slept only hours ago.
To the room where she welcomed me into her body and back into her heart.
A fall mist settles around me, the embers of the dying fire winking out as the sun starts to rise. My hands have long since gone numb, a twin to my numb heart. One day slips into another and the only thing I know for sure is that today I will leave Rose Prairie and the woman I love behind.