Chapter 85
Susan
Thursday
Thursday afternoon and early evening go by in a haze.
Sitting at Leesa’s dinner table, smiling and passing dishes, is excruciating, but just about doable when Leesa doesn’t know the whole truth.
Imagine the questions. Jon was having an affair?
With the dead girl? He might have been there that morning? Is he a murderer?
I mean, is he?
“Come on, smile!” Leesa’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
She’s standing, phone aloft, taking a photo of all of us around the table.
Reverse camera so she can be in it too. This is very Leesa: no family gathering slips by without photos and no good outfit goes undocumented—she’s in a gorgeous Whistles dress, ready for the Oakpark summer party.
Maeve rolls her eyes. “Do not put that on Instagram.”
“I’ll crop you out.”
“You’re not really putting that up, are you?” I ask.
“Oh, you know Mum, she puts everything on Insta.” Aoife clutches her hands to her heart and mimics her mother. “So blessed!”
Leesa swipes at her daughter. “Well, we are blessed. And we’re all here for one another.” A meaningful glance at me. “And it’s good to show that to everyone out there too.”
This makes me well up. It doesn’t seem quite the time for social media, but her heart is in the right place.
She’s typing on her phone now. “Don’t worry, Bella’s face isn’t in shot, and Maeve, I’ve cropped you out.” She looks at her watch. “Don’t forget you’re babysitting in an hour. You’re OK to walk over to the Fitzpatricks?”
A heavy sigh from Maeve makes it clear just how much she’s looking forward to that.
· · ·
As soon as we’re done cleaning up, I feign a headache and go to the guest room. My phone sits silently on the night-stand, daring me to try calling Jon. To say what? You absolute fucker, how could you cheat on me? And where were you last Wednesday morning?
And I keep wondering, should I be phoning the guards to tell them Jon had our car that morning? But I can’t bring myself to do that any more than I can imagine confronting Jon. So, for now, I do nothing but worry.
It’s only when I start to get Bella ready for bed that I realize I’ve forgotten to bring her sleep suit and her soother.
I’ve also forgotten to bring spare socks, my book, and my vitamin C serum, all of which I can do without, but I don’t want to put Bella to bed in the milk-stained dress she’s been wearing all day and Leesa’s house is a little chilly for sleeping in a vest. Much more crucial is the soother—there’s no way she’ll sleep without it.
But I’m not brave enough to go home to pick up what I need—I don’t want to see Jon.
Bella is lying on the guest-room bed, kicking her legs and gurgling.
“Oh, you look so happy now, but just wait until we try to get you to sleep without your dodie…” I stoop to kiss her, resigned to what’s ahead—I’m going to have to walk up to Dunnes to buy replacements.
I pop Bella on to my shoulder and go downstairs.
The house is quiet, apart from the low hum of the TV.
Leesa has gone to the Oakpark summer party, and Maeve has left for babysitting.
My options are either bring Bella with me to the shops or ask Aoife to mind her.
I peep in the living-room door, eyeing up Aoife as she lies on the couch looking at her phone.
I love her. She’s great. She’s quirky and funny and interesting.
But in terms of leaving my only child with her, I’m not convinced. Quietly, I close the door.
· · ·
As I’m easing Bella into her pram, my phone dings with a text from Juliette Sullivan.
Saw Jon being picked up by the police—very stressful for you all, I’m sure. I’m busy with the Oakpark summer party right now, but if I can help in any way, let me know. I could call in to keep you company in the morning?
Oh god. What does this mean? Was he at Savannah’s on Wednesday? Or is it simply procedure; question him and rule him out? God, I hope so. The entire situation is hideous…and now Juliette Sullivan is dying to get in on the action.
It does, however, mean that Jon is out of the house and I can go there to pick up the sleepsuit and soother instead of walking all the way up to Dunnes Stores, which, to my everlasting regret, is what I decide to do.