CHAPTER 10
I’m breathing through a downward dog, stretching my hamstrings, when Evie bursts through my bedroom door. It’s normal for her to interrupt my morning yoga. I’m glad being in a different house hasn’t changed that part of our friendship. It’s familiar and comforting, like my favorite blue sweatshirt Grandma bought me on her visit to the Oregon coast years ago.
“I met someone,” she blurts.
Already? We’ve only been here one night. Flowing into a cobra stretch, I take in Evie lounging on the bed in her pink pajamas, messy hair, and a grin widening her lips.
“Of course you did. What’s his name?”
“Eric.”
“And what does Eric look like?”
Evie has a type. She doesn’t admit to it, but she always goes for the tall, muscular, blond guys. Bonus points if he has green eyes. Not hazel like hers, but sea green.
She sits up, staring at me as I continue practicing yoga. “He’s on the rowing team at Harvard. His arms”—she moans in delight—“chiseled to perfection.” Her fingertips come to her mouth and she gives them a chef”s kiss.
“Is he blond?”
She scratches her neck. “You know, it was dark in the bar and I didn’t get a good look.”
Liar. “Dirty blond then. Your favorite.”
She throws a pillow at me. “Stop. I don’t have a preference.”
At this rate, her nose will grow a foot long. “You do, but I’ll stop pestering you about it.”
“Thank you. How was your night?” She moves to the window seat, sitting with her legs crossed.
“Weird. Embarrassing. Peaceful. Uncertain.”
Evie shoots me a dry look. “That makes things very clear.”
“You asked how it went. That’s how I felt as the night progressed.”
She grabs another pillow and throws it at me.
How many pillows are in this room? I swat it away.
“Details, please.” She wiggles her fingers in a “give me” motion.
I lie flat on my back, staring at the ceiling. “It was a little tense when I went to eat dinner. Bennett was in the kitchen and he made it clear he didn’t want me there, yet he all but forced me to stay and eat anyway. When I tried asking him questions about himself, he gave short answers, until I sat next to him. Then he started asking me questions. Of course, because I can’t be normal around guys, I choked on my taco, spraying it everywhere. When I tried to leave because I’d embarrassed myself, he offered to show me a rock he goes to every night.”
The peaceful feeling from last night comes back, loosening my muscles. “We talked a little more. He brought me back to my room where I was left feeling very uncertain of my place here this summer before going to bed. Then we went kayaking earlier this morning while you slept in. There. Are you satisfied now?” I sit up, looking at Evie, whose eyes are wide.
“He showed you his special spot in the backyard?”
My jaw drops. “You’re making it sound like innuendo!”
Evie laughs, falling back against the window. “I so did not mean it that way. But your face right now?” She points at me. “Priceless.”
“Ha ha,” I deadpan, picking up one of the pillows she tossed my way and throwing it at her.
She catches it. “Seriously though, he doesn’t let any of us use it if he is. Bennett needs time to himself quite often. He’s always been that way.”
“He said I could use it whenever I wanted ‘to get some peace and quiet from the family.’”
“Huh.” She cocks her head to the side, brows pulling together. Whatever she’s processing passes quickly. “Well, sadly for you, your space for the day is done. After lunch, we’re playing pickleball.”
“You and me?”
“Against the boys. They won’t know what hit ‘em when we get on that court.”
I pinch my lips together, stopping my smile from taking over my face. Evie and I enjoy playing pickleball, but I wouldn’t say we’re good enough to scare anyone off the court. “Keep up your enthusiasm.” We’re going to need it along with all the help we can get. We’re about to get slaughtered.
“Here.” Evie hands me a paddle. “We’re playing against Cam and Henry first.”
She closes the cabinet in the garage and leads me to the pickleball court in the backyard. The sun is bright, warming my bare shoulders, unlike this morning. I adjust my sunglasses and ponytail, mentally hyping myself up for playing against Evie’s family. Basing their ability off physical attributes, they’ll dominate us within five minutes. Their long legs and arms will mean less running for them and more for Evie and me.
Evie swings her paddle underhand a few times. “Remember, the ball has to bounce once on your side before you can hit it on a serve.”
“I remember.”
“And no serving overhand.”
I put my hand on her arm, stalling her. “Are you nervous? We’ve played this a dozen times. I know the rules.”
She stares at the grass. “Last time I played against Cam, he creamed me. I want to win, but the chances are slim. He just gets so annoying and braggy after a victory. I really want to crush him.” She makes a fist with one hand and twists it into the palm of the other.
Sibling rivalry at its finest. “I get it. Would you rather switch partners and team up with Henry so you have a better chance at winning?”
She winces. “Do you mind?”
I shake my head. “Not at all. If beating Cam is what your ego needs, I’m more than willing to pair up with him.”
“That means you’ll lose.”
“I’m aware, and I’ll accept it if it means you’re happy.” I tug on her arm. “Come on, winner. Let’s get this showdown started.”
She bobs her head, her high ponytail swaying behind her. With a new pep in her step, Evie bounces to the courts.
As we approach the two side-by-side pickleball courts, Bennett and Emerson are already playing a game.
With their shirts off.
Seriously, is Bennett averse to covering his torso? A little modesty would help me keep my attraction in check. Instead, my brain reminds me of his teasing comment from last night. “Wish I were still in my swim trunks?”
I stop dead in my tracks five feet from the court, bringing Evie to a halt beside me. I’m doing my best to get used to the sight in front of me, but I doubt I ever will. Bennett’s completely focused on the game, giving me time to survey his body at my leisure. Heat starts in my core and spreads throughout my limbs until I’m one hundred percent positive I’m on fire. I’m bouncing back and forth from staring at Emerson and Bennett, enthralled at the ripple of their muscles as they move. I’m pretty sure I’ve never witnessed such grandeur in all my life. Guaranteed women would pay thousands—millions—to be in my shoes right now.
“What’s happening?” Evie asks, hands on her hips. “Why did we stop?”
There is no way on earth Evie finds her cousins attractive. She’s probably witnessed this scene a hundred times and is wondering what is wrong with me. How do I explain this stunning display of athleticism?
Okay, pickleball doesn’t take a ton of skills to play, otherwise it wouldn’t be so popular with my grandma and her friends. But this? This is two men showing off their chiseled chests, washboard abs, defined shoulders, and sculpted backs in broad daylight. And I’m getting a private viewing.
Just remember, nothing can happen with any of them.
“Camille Rivens,” Evie chides. “Are you checking out my cousins right now?”
I do the only thing I’m capable of. Slowly nod, not once straying from watching Emerson and Bennett play. Bennett is taller and slightly broader than Emerson. There’s something about the oldest cousin that makes me linger on his body a smidge more than Emerson’s. I’m not sure if it’s his size, or that I spent more time with Bennett, but all I want is to plop onto the grass, grab a fan—possibly some grapes—and spend my morning staring at these two men.
No, Mils. That will make your attraction turn to lust, which turns into wanting a wedding. Clear your head. Focus on yourself.
Evie laughs. “I get it. They’re hard to resist.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Alrighty, Mils.” Evie claps her hands in my face. “Showtime is over. We have a game of our own to play.” Evie stands behind me, pushing on my back. “And you made a promise to yourself. I’m going to help you keep it.”
She’s right. I’m playing with fire. I let her guide me to our court, where Henry and Cam are chatting.
“Change of plans, boys.” Evie steps onto the court. “We’re splitting up. Cam, you’ve got Mils on your team. Henry, I’m with you.”
I close the gate behind me. “Cam, is that okay with you?”
“Oh, yeah.” He grins cockily. “We’re gonna sweep the floor with those two.” He holds a fist out to me.
I bump it, smiling.
“Please,” Evie says. “Henry and I are totally going to win.”
“Losers buy drinks?” Henry points his paddle at Cam and me.
“Deal,” I say. “I hope your wallet is full. I’m going out with you guys tonight and I’m not cheap.”
Cam pretends to drop a mic.
Evie rolls her eyes. “Come on, let’s play.”
“We’ll serve first,” Henry says, standing behind the back line.
I stay in the middle of my square, slightly bending my knees, ready to move to wherever the ball lands.
Henry serves, bouncing it in Cam’s square. Cam hits it to Evie, who lets it bounce in her square before smacking it back to our court. We volley for a while before I put too much force behind a hit and knock it out of bounds.
Evie jumps. “Yes!”
I smack my paddle against my palm. “Ugh! Sorry, Cam. I hit that one too hard.”
“It’s early in the game, Mils.” Cam gives me a high-five. “We’ve got plenty of time to win.”
We switch spots and I serve perfectly to Henry, who smacks the ball to me. I hit it toward Evie, who tries to backhand it and misses.
“Ooohhh,” Cam taunts. “Nice try, sis.”
She shoots him a glare, then tosses the ball to me.
The game is heated—full of teasing, shouts of victory, and cries of despair. We’re evenly matched, and getting to eleven is taking so long, the grass grows an inch in the time it takes us to play. My legs burn, my lungs are on fire, and my breaths are short and choppy. Sweat trickles down my back, making my shirt clingy.
I’m ready for a break, but we’re tied ten to ten, and there’s no way I’m relenting. I was more than willing to let Evie win when we got our paddles in the garage. But not anymore. She’s playing like we’re in the Olympics instead of enjoying a friendly game with her family.
For most of my life, I tried keeping the peace. It was preferable to the silent rage I grew up with. The constant walking on eggshells, waiting for someone to explode at any minute. Since leaving home, I still willingly do whatever I can to defuse situations. But pacifist Millie is on vacation at the moment. Competitive-Millie is out, and she is determined to win against her smack-talking best friend.
“We’ve got this, Cam,” I say, going back to my spot in the center of my side of the court. We can score. As long as I don’t mess up again.
Cam blows on his knuckles, then rubs them on his chest. “I know we do.”
I grin, loving the glare Evie sends our way.
“Scared, Evs?” I tease.
She puts her hands on her hips. “Of you two? Puh-lease. Henry and I are just waiting for you two newbies to get cocky before we bring you down a notch.”
Henry chuckles. “Darn right, Evie. We’re going to smash these two.”
“From the look of things, Henry and Evelyn, you guys are about to lose,” Bennett says, smiling from the court he and Emerson played on.
“Told you,” I taunt.
Evelyn squints, points at her eyes, then stabs her fingers in my direction.
“Serve’s up,” Cam says, tossing the ball into the air before lobbing it across the court to Evie.
Evie sends it right to me. It’s the perfect hit for me to send it to their kitchen, where neither Evie nor Henry are standing. But I somehow stumble over my foot, completely missing the hit, and fall on my butt. The ball slowly bounces right next to me, as if mocking me for missing the easy target.
“Are you okay?” Cam comes over to me, offering a hand to help me up.
I stand, taking inventory of my body. Nothing hurts except my pride. “I’m good.”
“Our serve,” Evie says, signaling for me to toss her the ball.
I pick it up and throw it over the short net. “Sorry, Cam. I hope you don’t mind that we lost.”
He pats my shoulder. “The game isn’t over yet.”
He spoke too soon. After a few volleys, Cam hits the ball into the net, giving the game-winning point to Henry and Evie.
Evie screams, pumping her fists. Henry picks Evie up, swinging her around. “We won! Yes! We won!”
I shake my head, bummed at our loss. “Good game, guys.”
Henry puts Evie down. She walks around the net, straight in Cam’s face, her chest puffed up. “Who’s the champion now?”
Camden pats her head. “It was one game, and Henry helped you win.”
She knocks Cam’s arm away. “Stop acting like Henry did all the work.”
“I call it like I see it,” Cam says.
My skin is getting tight and itchy. I can’t stand the arguing. “Cam and I have the first round of drinks tonight,” I shout, breaking up their fight.
Henry joins us on our side of the court. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Anyone want to play singles?” Emerson asks. “Bennett kicked my butt. I need someone I can win against.”
“Aww. Did your poor wittle ego take a hit?” Henry mocks in a baby voice.
“Get over here and let’s find out.” Emerson motions for Henry to join him.
“Nah, man,” Cam says. “I want a turn with Emerson. Besides, the winning team needs to stay together until they lose.”
Bennett goes through the gate separating the two courts, joining me on my side. “Millie?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you ready for that W Cam cheated you out of?”
“Hey!” Camden protests, shoving Bennett.
I frown. “I wouldn’t say Cam cheated me out of anything. We both made errors.”
Bennett puts his hands on my shoulders, our skin touching. The gesture is friendly, but it doesn’t feel that way. Bolts of electricity fire through my nerve endings like it’s Zeus touching me, not Bennett.
His chest is in my direct line of sight. There’s nothing I can do but stare at his golden skin glistening with perspiration. How does he smell this good when we’ve been sweating buckets? There’s a small patch of hair between his pecs. It’s slightly lighter than the hair on his head. Is it soft?
I blink, trying to stop focusing on what my body is feeling and concentrate on the words coming out of Bennett’s perfectly shaped mouth.
But looking at his mouth sets me off on a new tangent of wild thoughts. Would kissing him be scratchy because of his facial hair? Are his lips as soft as they look? Jeez, it’s a good thing my back was facing him while kayaking. What would I have endured this morning if he sat in front of me?
Knock it off, Mils! How are you going to spend all summer with him if you can’t get yourself under control? He’s a brother. Untouchable.
Tuning back into what Bennett is saying, I catch the tail end of his sentence.
“Henvie doesn’t stand a chance against us,” Bennett says, bending slightly until his blue eyes meet my gaze.
“What?” Who or what is Henvie?
Henry and Evie laugh. “I totally forgot about that team name,” Evie says. “Henry, how old were we when we came up with it?”
A team name? Why did they pick that awful title? “Yeah…” I do my best to hide my judgy tone. “Why that name?”
“Correction, Evs,” Henry says. “You came up with it.” Henry looks at me. “When Evie was ten, she was obsessed with High School Musical. She stalked Zac Efron. Even though ‘Zanessa’ had broken up by the time Evie loved the movies, she started putting her name with everyone’s like celebrity couples do. Including mine during family game nights. That whole summer, everyone called us Henvie, and it drove me mad. Still does. We’re family, Evs, it’s gross.”
Uh, yeah, that is not okay to ship yourself with a cousin. My eyes widen. “Is that why we watch The Greatest Showman, 17 Again, and The Lucky One on repeat?” How have I missed that Evie loves Zac the last five years?
He’s not her usual blond-haired, sea-green-eyed type. Interesting…
Evie shrugs, playing innocent. “Maaaybe…”
Bennett drops his hands from my shoulders. I shiver, which is ridiculous considering the warm temperature. I can’t possibly be missing the heat of his touch. Really, I need a distraction from Bennett. My thoughts are getting way out of hand. “You ready to win this, shoe-twin?” Bennett asks.
I close my eyes and shake my head, clearing it. “Yes.” Wait. Shoe-twin? I glance at my black Nikes with a white swoop, then at Bennett’s. Somehow, I completely missed that we had the same shoes. “We have good taste.” I wiggle my foot.
“We were meant to be.” Bennett taps the side of his foot against mine. “A shoe-five. For luck.”
We were meant to be?Does he only mean as pickleball partners? Or something else?
Ugh. This is one of those times I’m annoyed with myself. I need to pull it together. He’s grieving. I’m not dating. Our stages in life are totally different. He probably never wants to get married again, whereas I do. There are lots of reasons we wouldn’t work, and that’s where my focus should be. Friends having a good summer. That’s it.
“Are we playing or what?” Henry shouts.
“Yes, your highness.” Bennett grabs a ball from the pocket of his gym shorts. “We’ll serve first.”
I force myself to stop any and all considerations for Bennett and concentrate on the game. It’s harder than I expected, especially when he’s animated with teasing Evie and Henry. I like this confident, spirited Bennett, just like I enjoy the considerate side of Bennett.
Nope, nope, nope.
I won’t fall for Bennett.
No matter what.