CHAPTER 23
We’re standing in the backyard around the fire pit. Stars are shining. Crickets are chirping. A soft breeze wafts up from the lake. It’s a perfect summer night for sardines.
“When I played growing up, only one person hid,” I say to the group.
Henry shakes his head. “The property is too big, and with coyotes, black bears, and bobcats in the region, it’s safer for everyone to have a partner.”
What! Why hasn’t anyone warned me about the dangerous animals lurking in the woods? When Bennett came to the rock, it really could have been a wild beast? I’m rethinking my nighttime excursions.
Evie checks her phone. “Eric says he’s almost here. I’ll go meet him and then we can get started.”
Evie takes off to the front of the house.
I’m ticking people off on my finger. “Wait. If Eric comes, our numbers will be uneven.”
“Nope,” Henry says. “My date just arrived as well.”
I eye Emerson and Cam. “Do you two have dates too?” This night game has turned into a group date. With everyone wearing head-to-toe black, my stomach tenses at the thought of stumbling upon one of the couples hiding. My eyeballs are not prepared to see other people making out.
“No date for me,” Cam says, holding his hands out to the fire.
“Cam is all I need to stay warm and protected,” Emerson teases, pulling Cam into a side hug. They pretend to be lovey-dovey with one another.
Bennett and I laugh.
“You better watch out,” I joke. “I might want Cam if warmth and safety are being offered.”
Bennett lets out a pointed cough. “You don’t think I’m up for the task?”
A glowing warmth heats me up on the inside, like an ember danced out of the fire and settled into my core. From our brief, but friendly hug in the library, I’m aware of how easy it would be for Bennett to step into that role. I want him to do it. But I’m also scared I’ll like it all too much, and I need to keep myself safe in this fake relationship. If I believe we’re real, I won’t recover from Bennett. “I’m not sure. Maybe you can embrace Emerson and I can compare you and Cam. That way, I can make an informed decision.”
“Oh, yes, Benny Boo Boo,” Cam coos. “Come keep me company, pwease.”
I erupt in laughter. Evie’s family is incredibly fun to be around. The entire summer has been like this. They love to tease and taunt one another. Since it was just Steph and me growing up in a tension-filled home, I missed out on sibling banter.
Bennett, who’s more playful around his brothers and cousin, sidles up to Cam, wrapping him in a full embrace. He rubs Cam’s back in soothing circles. “Hush now, my wittle Camy-Cam. Big Benny Bear has you. No one will hurt you.”
Tears leak out the corners of my eyes. I can’t breathe. My laugh cuts off my air. I love that Bennett can be serious, but he also will do silly things like this. He’ll make a wonderful father someday. Too bad it won’t be to my children.
Hunched over, I grip my stomach, begging my body to inhale.
Emerson sees me silently laughing. “Enough, you two. You’re going to make Millie pass out.”
Bennett lets Cam go and faces me. “Are you okay?”
Finally, I’m able to catch my breath. “Yes,” I wheeze. “I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. Thank you.”
“We’ll cross ‘laughing until you almost pass out’ off on your list of firsts for the summer,” Cam says, smiling.
Voices interrupt our conversation. I glance over my shoulder. Evie is holding hands with a tall guy with big muscles, and from what I can tell in the dark, I nailed it. He has dirty blond hair. She so has a type.
Henry is right behind Evie and Eric with his date. The woman is petite, but that’s all I can make out with Eric blocking her.
“Hey,” Eric greets those of us standing around the fire pit. “Good to see you guys again.”
Bennett holds out his hand. “Glad you made it.”
Henry joins the circle, pointing to his date. She’s wearing black yoga pants and a black hoodie, her dark hair pulled into a high ponytail. “This is Janessa. Janessa, this is my family.” He says each of our names as he points to us.
My heart gets all mushy like bread pudding. Henry claimed me as family. I doubt he understands how good it feels to be wanted by people who have only known me a month.
“Hi, Janessa.” I hold out my hand, shaking hers. I spin to Eric next. “And you must be Eric?”
He smiles brightly at Evie, then me. “I am. You’re Millie?”
“Yes. I’ve heard a lot about you, Eric. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
Eric laughs. “Same. I was starting to think Evie was making you up.”
“Wouldn’t put it past her,” Cam says under his breath.
Evie tucks herself closer to Eric’s side. “Ignore my brother.” She glares at Cam. “Knock it off.”
Cam holds his hands out defensively, but doesn’t say anything else.
“Okay.” I clap, getting everyone’s attention on me. “What are the boundaries for the game?”
“Everyone playing has a Hales family member on their team,” Emerson says. “We know the property lines. You have to stay within those boundaries. Understood?”
I step back over to Bennett. “We’re not going to get eaten in the woods, are we?” He may think I’m joking, but my concern is legitimate.
His lips tug into a playful smile. “Nah. I’ll keep you safe.”
My heart patters like rain pelting against a window. “I’m trusting you.”
My words somehow jolt Bennett. The smile slips off his lips, and he stares at me. “Are you sure?”
I was. Until now. Why shouldn’t I trust him? “Yes?”
“Everyone, close your eyes,” Evie announces. “Emerson and Cam are hiding first. We’ll count to fifty.”
Clamping a hand over my eyes, I join in the counting. We get louder and louder the closer we get to fifty. “Ready or not, here we come!” shouts Evie.
I snag Bennett’s hand—ignoring the tingles skipping up my arm—and take off running in the direction I heard Cam and Emerson go. Bennett’s legs are longer than mine and he quickly takes the lead, but doesn’t break the connection of our palms.
We go past the side of the house, past the massive garage, until we get to the trees on the northern side of the property. Bennett slows until he comes to a complete stop. Pulling me close to him, he leans down to my ear and whispers, “There’s a ditch we used to play in when we were little up here. They might be hiding there. I don’t want to let anyone else know where we are, so try to walk softly and be quiet.”
Little does Bennett know that every whispered word, every puff of breath that hits my ear and neck, sends a wave of goosebumps across my skin. My tongue is stuck in my mouth, like I shoved a giant bite of peanut butter in it. Unable to form words, I nod, hoping Bennett thinks my silence is because he said to be quiet and not because I’m incapable of doing anything else right now.
He tugs me, and I follow. I’m sweeping the area, looking for two huddled figures. We’ve walked quite a distance, but still haven’t come across our targets. My mind wanders as we search. Is Bennett okay with us holding hands? Is he only doing it because of the game?
A twig snaps, and Bennett freezes, squeezing my palm. My heart jumps into my throat. I halt. Please don’t be a bear.
Cocking his head, Bennett listens, but no other sound (besides crickets) comes. “This way,” Bennett says, leading us in another direction.
I’m utterly useless except for straining to see two people dressed in black in the woods in the middle of the night. An owl hoots, and I flinch, unprepared for the animal to be close by. I’m really happy we’re in pairs right now. Bennett is the only thing calming me.
“Did you guys play night games a lot growing up?” I whisper, needing to get out of my head.
“We did. My earliest memory was about first or second grade. My parents let us stay up late to play hide and seek in the dark. We had to stay in the backyard though. It wasn’t until we were older that the game area broadened. What about you? Did you play games with your friends in your neighborhood?”
Our childhoods were vastly different, but I’m glad this is one tradition I can say I experienced. “Yeah. Kick the Can was what we played most often. Until middle school. Then we played sardines with the boys we liked. We were super upset if someone found our crush before we did.”
“How dare they steal your opportunity to be alone with a boy,” he teases.
“Exactly! What if my first kiss got ruined because someone else was better at searching than me?”
“Did that actually happen?”
I blurt out a laugh. Slapping a hand over my mouth, I talk through my fingers. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to be so loud. Anyway, uh, no. My first kiss was terrible and happened at a park.”
The kiss itself was okay, but what happened after was mortifying. My streak of choosing the wrong guy started at thirteen. Go figure.
Bennett squeezes my hand. “You can’t leave me hanging. Why was it so awful?”
I sigh, not ready to relive this moment. But it’s Bennett, and that means my brain doesn’t do what I want it to when I’m around him. “I really liked this guy, but turns out, he only pretended to like me so he could be the first one to kiss me. He made a bet with his friend that all it would take was one invitation from him, and I’d say yes.” My throat grows thick. The shame of it all hits me again. “I snuck out after curfew and met him and his friend at a park near my house. We hung out and talked for a few minutes, but then he said he had to get home. He hugged me goodbye and when I pulled away, he snatched me back and kissed me. Immediately after, he turned to his friend and said, ‘You owe me a buck now.’ I slapped his face and took off running. I was pissed he stole my first kiss from me and that he’d only bet a dollar. One freaking dollar.” I’d never felt so cheap in my life. Unfortunately, that incident didn’t help me improve my choice in men.
“Boys can be real big jerks sometimes. I’m sorry you went through that. You deserved better.”
“Thank you.”
“Look!” He points to a bunch of logs leaning against a tree trunk. Two hunched figures are half-hidden inside. “We found them.”
We run to Emerson and Cam’s hiding place. “Found you!” I taunt.
“You’re the first ones,” Cam says, sliding over to give us space to sit.
Why am I not surprised we’re first? That’s the pattern with Bennett. He’s a winner in more ways than one.
We chat quietly until every team eventually finds us. We take turns hiding, and Bennett and I find every team first except once.
It’s our turn to hide and my legs are shaking like I squatted one hundred times, did two hundred burpees, and three hundred lunges. Bennett and I are being forced to hide in a tight space for an undisclosed amount of time.
I’m only freaking out a lot.