22. Chapter 22
Chapter twenty-two
Lance
The Five Stages of Grief.
I told Roman what I needed, we parted ways, and I’ve somehow managed to stick to my original course of action since then.
Every time he texted last night? I’d swipe it away without even glancing at it.
Every time he called? Hello voicemail. This isn’t a fucking free pass.
I haven’t forgiven him. I have no intentions of going back to being friends, if that’s even what we were in the first place.
I just need help, and unfortunately for me, he’s the only person that can make this happen.
I pull a few of my hoodies out of my drawer and stuff them into a luggage bag.
A bag that I had to waste an hour going down to the shop to look for yesterday.
It’s not like people here travel very often, so they didn’t have a single useful thing there.
I ended up having to go back down to Maven’s office just so that I could borrow a bag from Ollivander.
It’s fucking giant and it didn’t surprise me one bit that it’s some fancy luxury brand.
Yes, he threatened to chop off my right hand if anything happened to it. Lucky for me, I’m left-handed.
I groan as my phone rings again. I assume that it’s Roman, who refuses to give up on calling even though I’m still ignoring him, but when I glance at my phone and see that it’s Wilder I nearly choke up.
The meeting we’re supposed to have today, it’s going to change everything.
I’m desperate to know what’s going on with Everest, but I’m terrified of what this means for Jett.
Everest and I haven’t gotten super close, but I’d say that we’re pretty good friends now.
I’m kind of torn about the fact that he might not be around anymore, but I’ve been trying to keep my thoughts on the more positive side, because I know that Jett is going to be a fucking mess.
“Hey Wilde,” I sigh out as I answer the phone.
“Time for you to head here, blondie. Maven said that if I don’t get this meeting over with, that’s he’s going to throw a banquet just so he can serve my head on a platter.”
“Maven? Throwing a banquet? Now that’s a sight I’d like to see.
” I reply as I prop the phone between my face and shoulder so that I can fold up a few more hoodies for the trip.
I catch a peek of my favorite one tucked at the bottom of the drawer and get a little excited as I yank it out and hold it up to admire it before tucking it in the luggage bag.
“Not at the cost of my head. My face is too perfect to waste on such frivolous matters.” He says with a bit of an attitude.
Maven and Wilder have never really seemed to get along great.
They work together in a professional sense, but aside from that, Maven tends to avoid him at all costs.
I don’t know if something happened between them before I got here, or if their personalities just clash that hard.
“I’ll be there in a minute. Have you already called Jett?”
“Yeah,” he replies as he flips through some papers in the background. “It sounded like he practically ran out the door as soon as I told him, so I’m sure we’ll be waiting on you to get here.”
“Alright, alright.” I huff out as I push to my feet. “I’m on the way.”
My stomach is in my throat. This is so much worse than I imagined.
If I’m choking up, I can’t even begin to imagine what Jett is feeling.
I glance over, trying to comfort him, but he only spares me a look for a sliver of a second before turning away again.
I wish there was something I could do for him, but this is so far beyond what I’m emotionally capable of that it’s kind of frightening.
I don’t do love. I don’t. Not for family, not for friends, and certainly not for anyone else.
This is exactly why. What’s the point in caring about people when it only gives them the leverage they need to fuck you over?
I get the concept of love. I’ve read a ton of romances, and in theory it’s fucking amazing.
You meet this person and it’s like they change your entire world.
Suddenly, they’re the only thing that matters anymore.
It’s never a flawless system, at least that part is like real life.
There are obstacles to overcome and struggles to face, but they always know that person is their person.
I read books like they’re fucking candy.
All the time. Ollivander literally has to special order them for me, because I’ve read every single book in this prison.
I was hunting people down and asking to borrow books I hadn’t read yet while waiting on the new shipment to get here.
That lasted all of like two weeks before I ran out of people I knew with books.
Oh! The newest shipment was supposed to come in a few days ago and I am really hoping that’s not the shipment that got stolen.
I’ve been feeling like a stranger to myself without a book in my hand.
I should definitely ask Ollivander about it.
It’d be nice to have some books to take on the trip with me.
I digress, though. I know how love is supposed to work, probably better than most, but that’s likely why I believe it’s all a fairytale. No one is ever willing to sacrifice everything they love for another person.
The closeted guy? He’s never willing to expose himself for you.
The jock that messes around with the nerd in real life?
He’ll never sacrifice his popularity for love.
The guy that’s hopelessly in love with his best friend?
Said friend doesn’t magically realize he’s gay and in love with him.
It doesn’t fucking happen. It just doesn’t.
“Will we get to see him before he leaves?” Jett asks, drawing my attention to him.
I hate how hopeful he sounds, because I know that seeing Everest again is just going to make this harder for him, but it’s obvious that he needs to clear some things up.
I’m torn between trying to help and letting Jett make all the decisions for himself.
I’ve spent so much of my life taking care of Gatlin that sometimes it’s hard for me to turn off the caretaker part of my brain and just let other people make their own mistakes.
“Um… no. Unfortunately, that isn’t possible.” Wilder replies nervously.
I almost let out a sigh of relief, but the distress on Jett’s face makes me pause.
I seriously fucking hate when people I care about are hurting.
All I want to do is wrap him up in a blanket burrito and watch television with him on the couch for the rest of the week.
Instead, I’m going to have go back to my apartment, finish packing, and leave him all alone for who knows how long.
I feel fucking dirty just thinking about it.
If I wasn’t being forced to do this, I would never leave Jett alone right now, and that just makes me angrier about Maven forcing us to leave tomorrow.
He couldn’t wait one fucking week? Jeez.
Wilder opens up a drawer on his desk and digs around until he presents something to Jett. “He left this for you.”
Jett unfolds the paper painfully slowly. I mean, am I the only one itching to find out what’s inside? Damn. Hurry the hell up.
A small piece of torn paper flutters out from between the pages, landing in Jett’s lap.
He picks it up, turning it over between his fingers, before he mindlessly caresses the drawing.
It’s just some flowers, but it’s obvious that it’s something that Everest drew.
I never really paid much attention to what he was creating, but he seemed to have an obsession with plants.
Jett takes in a shaky breath before he finally tucks the paper into the pocket of his shirt.
He keeps his hand on it as he uses his other hand to unfold the papers on his leg.
I almost offer to help, because he’s taking so fucking long.
I hope he knows I plan to read it too. I mean he’s sitting right beside me; it’s kind of a given.
I skim over the letter. More than once, if I’m being honest. I nearly have tears in my eyes, so I force myself to avert my attention elsewhere as Jett continues to scan over the page again and again.
This is exactly what I’m talking about. Love is a joke.
Jett spent months with Everest, we both did, but neither of us knew that Everest didn’t belong here.
That he wouldn’t be staying. It seems like he didn’t have the option to tell anyone, and I can kind of see where that part makes sense, but why did he let things go on with Jett for so long?
Why would he do that to someone he supposedly cares about?
The same way you left Gatlin… and Blaine.
I scold my brain for making that connection, trying to tell myself that the situations are not the same, but the more I try to convince myself…
the less I believe it. Everest left because there’s a better world out there for himself, and I did the Exact.
Same. Thing. I don’t love them, though. I don’t.
I would never let them fall in love with me knowing that there was an end date looming closely.
Very fucking closely, in Jett’s case. We’re just related, so we have to care about each other. It’s not the same.
“Why? Why not? I have to talk to him.” Jett demands.
“Well… he’s already gone.” Wilder replies as he tilts his head playfully. “For now.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Jett snarls back at him.
“I’m not supposed to tell you this, because we don’t want to give you false hope, butttt he has been given the option to return. He has two weeks to make his final decision.”
“Two weeks...” Jett repeats to himself as Wilder continues to talk.
I know that look on his face. He’s digging deep, looking for any and everything he can use to help this situation, but I’m afraid it’s a lost cause.
Everest already chose to leave, and there’s no way to salvage what’s left between them from afar.