Chapter Thirteen #2
I can’t believe we’ve made a year together work, right through being separated by Ben’s month-long tour of French vineyards and then a beach break in the South of France with his parents, and me being stuck back at home with Mum and waitressing throughout the summer.
Liv and Ollie went away together for a bit and I did get a funny message from Ollie, asking if he could delay signing the rental contract while he ‘sorted some things out’.
The fact that the four of us became couples so quickly does worry me a little, every now and again.
I’m petrified someone will dump someone else, and that’s the house-share over and done with.
The four of us, like this, living together: it’s a risk. But it felt so right.
We’ve still got a couple of days to get ourselves sorted before lectures and tutorials start again, and there’s a general thrum of excitement to everything we do, from grocery shopping in the newly opened supermarket down the road, to discovering all the local pubs and takeaway shops.
We still need to unpack properly, but now that we’re closer to the Tube line it makes it easier to get into central London, so I want to make the most of that.
I should be reading Keats, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
I know all the work that awaits me after I start and, if I put off the reading, I can put off the work.
Instead I bounce into Liv’s room to find her texting someone.
‘What you doooiiing?’ I drawl, in a voice that essentially says, Are you free to come out to play?
‘Nothiiing,’ she drawls back.
‘Great. Want to go shopping in Oxford Street?’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘You and Ollie broke up? And you didn’t tell me?’ I squeak as Liv and I queue for the changing room in Topshop in Oxford Street. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you message me?’ And why didn’t Ollie tell me?
‘Because it was no big deal, and because we got back together almost immediately afterwards,’ she says nonchalantly. ‘See? No big deal.’
I’m not so sure about that. ‘But you broke up. What was that like? Who instigated that? And why, more importantly.’
‘I did, because Ollie was annoying me, because he was paying me no attention, because I’d had enough.
It was warning shot after warning shot over the course of last year and he wasn’t listening, Aurora, he just wasn’t listening.
So I told him I didn’t think it was working, that we were far too young to be settling down with each other and that living together wasn’t a good idea. ’
‘Is that why he had a wobble about living with us?’
Liv gives me a confused look. ‘Did he? What did Ollie tell you?’
‘Just that he had to sort some stuff out before committing to signing the contract.’
‘Oh, I didn’t know he’d told you that.’
‘I knew this would happen,’ I say out loud, without meaning to.
I knew this would all go wrong at some point – I could feel it coming.
I can still feel something coming. I just don’t know what.
And I’ll be honest and say that although things are going well for Ben and me, I thought it might be us who broke up. Not them. Although I don’t know why.
We shuffle forward in the never-ending queue. Why is everyone taking so much time in there? How long does it take to try on clothes?
‘Why did you think this would happen?’ Liv asks pointedly.
‘Because of the reasons you suggested,’ I reply, distracted by the gorgeous sequin crop-top someone’s holding in front of me.
‘Because Ollie’s heart really isn’t in it?’ Liv answers her own question.
‘Oh no, I mean …’ I start, but I don’t know what to say that would help.
‘Because you’d be right,’ she says. ‘His heart isn’t in it. Ollie’s not hugely into me. I can see it. I’ve always known it. It was one of the first things I felt, the morning after we all hooked up.’
‘That was a messy event.’ I think back to the freshers’ night and the fact that four of us went into it single and then woke up the next morning immediately coupled up. ‘So what are you going to do if you know – or rather if you think – Ollie’s just not that into you?’
What an odd situation. I couldn’t be with Ben if I thought he was only going at half-pace in our relationship.
Because Ben and I are in a relationship, and Liv and Ollie are …
I don’t know what they are. Even after all this time I’m not sure Liv knows, either. Or Ollie. Thank God this isn’t my mess.
‘I’m going to remind him what he’s got and if he really can’t get it into his thick skull that he’s on to a good thing with me, I’m going to dump him.’
‘Again?’ I say sadly.
‘Again,’ Liv replies, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world, which I guess it is.
‘With the intention to teach Ollie a lesson and then he works it out and comes running back?’ I suggest. Honestly, this is berserk.
‘No, for good this time,’ she confides. ‘He’s on his last chance and I don’t want to do this for ever and ever. Not with Ollie,’ she says. ‘He’s so …’
I look at her warily.
‘He’s a bit boring sometimes,’ she says. ‘I realise that now.’
Ouch! Poor Ollie. I feel this need to defend my friend. ‘He’s just a little reserved.’
Liv looks at me sympathetically as if I can’t see what she sees. We shuffle forward in the queue. Actually I don’t think I can be bothered to try on these jeans now. I might put them back.
‘He’s not …’ Liv tries and fails to deliver the end of her point. ‘He’s not Ben,’ she says and I whip my head round to stare at her.
What a strange comparison. Why would she even mention Ben?
‘Hear me out,’ she starts. ‘You know what I mean. You know that I mean Ollie doesn’t have Ben’s energy, Ben’s life.
He doesn’t have that bounce that Ben has, which captivates a room.
I don’t fancy Ben – I want to point that out.
I’m not trying to hit on your man or anything.
But when you’ve got two men as different as Ben and Ollie in your life every day, then it’s hard not to make comparisons, especially when one is not living up to expectations. ’
I look straight ahead in some sort of surprised shock. ‘OK,’ I land on eventually. I’m not sure where to go with this, so I change tack. ‘You deserve someone to love you, to really get you. Especially after a year.’
‘A year off and on. It took us for ever to get together properly, remember. I’ve told Ollie I love him and he says it, but it doesn’t feel real.
I don’t think he means it. I always say it first. So I’m not saying it again.
I won’t be the first to keep telling him I love him on a daily basis.
And do you know what, Aurora? I’ll bet he doesn’t even notice. ’
‘One item each?’ the changing-room assistant asks, handing us our plastic tickets as we find ourselves at the front. I look at her like I’ve no idea what’s going on.
‘Oh. Yes, thanks.’ I try on the jeans in the changing room and, predictably, they don’t quite fit.
They aren’t long enough for my giraffe legs and I fold them over my arm, ready to give back, while I wait for Liv to try on a black outfit that she wants to wear for the upcoming Halloween event in the student bar.
I’ll be dressed up in something black that I already own, with some cat ears and relevant whisker-style make-up.
I’ll also be behind the bar working, so I get to party and earn at the same time.
Liv looks svelte in her dress, sexy. A stunner.
Now that I look at Liv, she’s changed. We haven’t seen much of each other over the summer, other than when I went up to her parents’ house in Northumberland for a long weekend of staying in, watching Gossip Girl re-runs together and eating sack-loads of crisps.
Other than that, I was busy working and Liv was busy …
breaking up with Ollie and then getting back together with him, as it turns out.
‘OK. Game plan?’ Liv asks as we leave Topshop and stand near the entrance, trying not to get jostled by the hordes of women coming and going from the store. ‘Where next? Selfridges? Go and look at expensive make-up that we can’t afford or head back home—’
‘Excuse me,’ someone says in our direction. I glance to my left to see a woman approaching with a warm smile. She’s well dressed and carrying the most beautiful Hermès Birkin bag. I’m practically salivating over it as she comes to a stop. ‘Hi. I wonder if I could have a quick word?’
Ben and Ollie watch me curiously as Liv talks at them in an excited voice once we’re back home. It’s Liv doing all the talking. She’s more excited than I am, I think. I’m just a bit confused, overwhelmed.
‘And then,’ Liv continues, ‘she hands Aurora her business card and tells her to give her a ring if she likes the sound of it.’
There’s a pause and then, ‘This sounds sketchy as fuck,’ Ben says.
‘Are you sure this is legitimate?’ Ollie agrees.
‘Yes,’ I reply, my voice quiet. I’m still in shock. ‘I’ve heard of them. They’re huge.’ I stare at the business card in my hand.
‘What are you going to do? Liv asks encouragingly. ‘You have to ring it. You have to.’
‘I don’t know,’ Ben says. ‘I don’t think this is a good idea.’
I look at Ollie, wondering what he thinks. Ollie’s always the voice of reason.
‘Don’t pay them any money, Aury,’ is all he has to say, in essence. ‘I have no idea how any of this works, but don’t you hand them a single penny until you know what’s happening.’
‘Aurora’s been scouted by a modelling agency!’ Liv shouts joyously. ‘That’s what’s happening. How it works is that tomorrow she’s going to ring that number and become a star.’
‘I’m not,’ I protest. ‘Tomorrow I’m going to ring the number and I’m going to see what the modelling agent has to say, and then I’ll take it from there.
This must happen every day to a hundred different girls, and I reckon it starts and ends exactly like this for practically all of them.
I reckon this goes nowhere,’ I point out truthfully.
‘A random encounter somewhere public. This is how Kate Moss got scouted,’ Liv says, excitement still filling the void made apparent by Ollie and Ben’s uncertainty. And mine. ‘And look how famous she is!’