Chapter 31 #3
Cassidy nods slowly. It's true that she's shared Payton's story and talked at length about her own.
Kenny's, though, is the hardest one, and it's not something she opens up about with just anyone.
But Diane is the woman she intends to build a life with, and she wants her to know that, even if her family isn't perfect, she wouldn't trade them for anything.
"Kenny lost his mom when he was really little—maybe three years old—and went to live with his dad." She makes a small, pained face. "The guy wasn't just hooked on heroin. He also enjoyed raping his son."
Diane's hands tighten on the wheel, and that's putting it mildly.
"At some point he decided it was a good idea to let his friends have a turn too—apparently in exchange for a hit or some cash.
When Kenny was nine, one of those men went too far, and Kenny started bleeding badly.
The guy was too out of it and panicked. He took him to the hospital with some excuse about a fall, but the doctors figured it out almost immediately and called the police. "
"Sons of bitches," Diane mutters, shaking her head.
"They could never prove his father had been abusing him—Kenny barely spoke, and he couldn't give a statement that held up.
The guy did a few years for child endangerment, and when he got out, he came looking for Kenny.
That's when things really fell apart—all the damage from what he'd been through started coming out. "
"Did he take him back?" The desperation in Diane's voice is unmistakable.
"No, but Kenny seemed to remember everything all at once, because the bastard told him he'd always be his.
" Cassidy swallows the knot in her throat.
"My brother wanted to kill him, and he nearly did—beat him within an inch of his life.
After that, Kenny went into a free fall: drugs, alcohol, theft, fights.
He was in and out of jail constantly. People in the neighborhood were scared of him, but we knew it was all just armor.
Kenny was still trapped inside that little boy who never got to have a childhood. "
"What got him out of it?"
Cassidy thinks for a moment.
"At the last facility he was in, there was a counselor—a man who'd been through something similar himself and refused to give up on Kenny.
I remember going with my adoptive parents and Payton to family sessions.
" Cassidy smiles. "And over time, things got better.
He never relapsed on drugs, but there were some incidents afterward.
My sister became his lawyer, and I became his second emergency contact.
We lived with this constant fear—we'd already gotten calls to show up at the police station—but it's been three years now without any trouble. "
"But the fear never really goes away," Diane says quietly, somewhere inside her own thoughts and her own history.
Cassidy rests a hand on her thigh, gentle. She has this infuriating gift for knowing exactly when Diane is breaking apart on the inside.
"Did Clara send you the pool photo?" The painful moment gets buried on the spot. Diane's expression shifts into a mild grimace.
"She looks ridiculously happy," Diane remarks, though the comment is followed by a real smile.
"I'd look that happy too if I were on vacation on an island in the Dominican Republic with water that color," Cassidy says, raising her eyebrows.
Diane glances over at her. It sounds like her worst nightmare—all that sand sticking to everything—but if she pictures herself there with her girlfriend, it doesn't seem quite so terrible.
Their relationship with Clara isn't fully healed, but she knows they're both trying.
The four of them have gotten together several times for dinner at home, and other times for lunch out.
They haven't had any real time just the two of them, but they do talk often over text, and Diane knows that with patience they'll find their way back to each other—differently, but she's sure it'll be better.
"I cannot wait to get to the couch and do absolutely nothing.
" Cassidy walks into the house with Diane right behind her and kicks off her boots, leaving them in the middle of the floor.
Her girlfriend picks them up in one natural, unhurried motion and tucks them into the shoe rack.
The blonde stops and turns to look at her.
"Hey—thank you for saying yes to lunch with my family. It means a lot to me."
Diane wraps her arms around her waist and pulls her close. She looks at her face like she's the most remarkable woman she's ever seen. For her, she is.
"I once told you I'd show you what you mean to me, and that wasn't just about one month—it was about the rest of my life."
Cassidy runs her tongue over her lips, her heart jumping in her chest.
"Wow, a little sappy for you, don't you think?"
Diane raises an eyebrow.
"Watch that mouth, Collins."
The blonde lifts her hand and traces her fingertips along Diane's face.
"I love you," she whispers, her green eyes shining.
Diane's answer is to kiss her. It's always to kiss her, because words are beautiful, but gestures tell the absolute truth—and for her, feeling Cassidy's lips against hers is the only way to show her that she is oxygen. The only thing she needs to live.