Chapter 24
R aw fear explodes inside me as I wait with bated breath as Jonathan freezes beside me. As soon as the confession left my lips, all movement stopped. His hand running through my hair, the gentle kisses he was pressing across my face—hell, it even feels like he’s stopped breathing.
Pulling back to put a little bit of space between us, I call his name softly.
When he turns his attention back to me, his shell-shocked look is still all over his face but, blooming like a flower, is a small tendril of awe.
Of tender wonderment. And it’s that sliver of emotion that gives me something to cling to.
Sitting up, I twist so I can look at him as I explain.
“I’ve been incredibly nauseous lately, which I put down to anxiety, but then I missed my period, so I took a test, and well.
..” I break off on a watery laugh as he reaches for me, cupping my face in his palm.
I lean into his heat and soak up the comfort he’s offering me.
“I guess that’s what happens when we take a risk or two, huh?” He laughs, offering me a sheepish smirk before his gaze drops to my still-flat stomach.
“Yeah,” I breathe as emotions fly across his face, too quick for me to pin down.
“Have you been to a doctor? Do you know what we’re having yet? Have you heard the heartbeat? What about those little photographs they give you?” His shock gives way to a series of frantic questions. The obvious care in his voice has me reaching up to cup his face between my palms.
“I love you,” I blurt out, unable to contain it anymore.
With a smile so wide, it’s a wonder he doesn’t pull a muscle, he claims my mouth in a searing kiss that lights my soul on fire and wipes away the worry that’s been niggling at me since I first suspected I was pregnant.
The fear of what we do now, where we go from here, has been eating me alive.
The sea of secrets and half-truths between us, the odds being stacked against us…
The reasons to be worried far outweigh the ones not to be.
“I love you so much, pretty girl. So fucking much. There’s so much we need to sort out, to talk about.
You’ll need to move in here, we’ll need to come out publicly.
Not to mention, I’ll need to find a new assistant.
” He mutters things to himself as his mind goes off a million miles an hour, the same way mine has been for days now, as suspicion settled into my bones.
Reaching up, I press my hand on his mouth to shut him up before catching his gaze with my own again.
“Press pause. Be in the moment with me, handsome. We are having a baby.” I implore him to let that sink in.
All the worrying and planning that will plague us both can hit the back burner for a second.
There will never be another opportunity to have this moment again.
The moment where we find out we’re having a child, that our love has bloomed into a physical thing in the most beautiful way.
Right now, there’s a baby who’s the perfect mix of both of us growing inside me.
It’s a magical moment, and one that should be treasured.
“You’re right, pretty girl. I’m sorry. There’s so much to do, but I’m all in, I promise you.
We’re in this together, you and me against the world.
” He rests his forehead against mine, and silence blankets us, him and me and our little surprise.
Hours or minutes could pass before I talk myself into confessing my sins to him.
Letting these secrets lie between us for another second longer didn’t feel right.
While I know it’s far from a pretty conversation, it’s one we need to have, but the moment I open my mouth to lay myself bare, he beats me to it.
“There’s something you need to know, and I’m not entirely sure how to tell you.” Oh shit. He’s not really going to…is he? I remain quiet with my eyes closed as he speaks the words into the top of my head, praying I don’t give myself away.
“There’s a lot more to the O’Neill empire than business holdings, and not all of it is above board. As far back as history goes, my great-whatever grandfather has had his toes dipped in all sorts of pots. One of those happens to be the Irish Mafia.”
I pull back to look at him, and the determination on his face has me biting my tongue, letting him explain all about the Four Points and the criminal world he thinks I know nothing about.
As he spits Angus’ name out with hatred, the fear of revealing my secrets returns tenfold, and rather than confessing my sins, I dig a deeper hole for myself by continuing to uphold my lie.
“This is...a lot,” I settle on after a moment. “I mean, this kind of thing just doesn’t happen to girls like me.”
“I swear, you’re safe. More than safe. I give you my word,” he vows as the opportunity to come clean slips through my fingers like quicksand.
It’s all I can do to act shocked while my mind races with what the fuck have I done .
But it’s too late to backtrack now. Instead, I have to commit to the facade of being new to the mafia world, let him teach me all about it, and pray that Angus never finds out and blows it to smithereens.
Even as I say nothing, the guilt gnaws at me, carving into my chest like a dull blade.
I had a plan—I swore I would go back for Freya, pull her out of the Clan’s grasp, and make sure she was safe once and for all. But now, I’m tangled in lies, sinking deeper into a world I swore I’d never return to. And yet…two little lines changed everything.
I’m so sorry, Frey. I can’t risk it. Not now