Chapter Ten
Elliot and I were driving along the coastline, holding hands, and singing along to Love Shack like a wild, car ride version of karaoke.
I was oddly happy and feeling totally at peace, and something in my soul was telling me this was all a dream, and it wasn’t as real as I believed. Closing my eyes, I rested my head on the headrest and sighed a content, soul-filling sigh, until a loud bang shook the window.
Well, that was weird.
But I couldn't open my eyes. It was so warm and cosy with the hot ocean air surrounding me.
What? That didn't make sense either.
The banging persisted and a cold wind blew, startling me as I tossed my hands out to the side.
Prying my stuck eyelids apart, it wasn’t dark anymore and my adrenaline-spiked heart rate propelled me to my feet as I shielded my eyes .
The banging happened again, but it wasn't in my head.
I spun and saw Nina on the other side of the window with the dusk-painted skies of morning surrounding her. It was early morning, very early.
“HOLY BEANS!”
I bent down to rouse Elliot, shaking him a touch harder than was necessary, but the guy was in the deadest of sleep. “Nina's outside. Nina’s here. It's morning. GET UP!”
“What?” Like he'd been prodded with a stick, he jumped out of our makeshift bed, tossing our blanket—my red leather coat. His hair was all skewed to one side and there was a crust of dried drool down his cheek.
No doubt, I looked worse for wear as well, but who cared, we were going to be free! Finally!
I scurried and climbed on top of the table, shouting through the window, “Hey!”
Elliot joined me, pointing to the tree. “We can't open the door.”
This was obvious to me and most likely to Nina as well, otherwise, why would we be stuck inside the Coffee Loft?
Nina set down her bag and tried tugging and lifting the trunk of tree that had wedged itself downward through the awning, lodging itself perfectly between the metal railing and the door. As I inspected it now in the morning glow, it had gone in at the most bizarre angle. Had it been tossed any other direction, it wouldn't have blocked the door.
She cupped her hands around her mouth. “It's stuck.” Her shirt was covered in bits of tree bark, and she swiped them all off. “I'll go get help. I'll be right back.”
After flipping her gaze left and right, she ultimately decided to head right—which was the direction I'd go—that’s where the fire station was.
I turned to Elliot, feeling a fresh mix of emotions. We were finally getting rescued. However, that also meant I now had to deal with the situation, like it or not. We had the most incredible night together, talking and snuggling, and sharing parts of ourselves that I’d never confided in another male. Looking back, it was what we needed to make it through, right? Like eating raisins to stay alive because that was the only food available; that’s what we had been to each other. It really hadn’t been anything more. At least that’s what my brain believed.
“Well, thank the beans your time with me is nearly complete and you can return to your everyday life. No more of this being trapped in the coffee shop with the weird bookshop girl.” Instinctively, I pressed a fist against my chest and rubbed it, trying to dislodge an ache of pain that surfaced. Feeling it was more a physical sensation than a mental one, I laced my fingers together and stretched to the ceiling, putting a little spring in my step when I finished. The movement didn’t make me feel any better. Maybe it was the way Elliot had his head cocked to the side, assessing me with a narrowed gaze. His mouth opened, then snapped shut.
“Won’t it feel good to get some fresh air on your face?”
“Yeah. The fresh air will feel fabulous.” The last word drawled out as he hopped off the table, righting the wingback chairs and stuffing the cushions in.
With a grunt, he dragged the chairs back into the corner, and I carried over the little, knee-height table.
There was an edge to him I couldn't get a read on, but it was off-putting and borderline angry-like. Was he not a morning person?
Rather than get in his way, I took our tray of napkins, empty bottles, and the disposable cups over to the garbage, and dampened a cloth, giving it a wash and polish. After a quick check of the power (nothing yet), I tidied up the counter, not that we had made a mess or anything, but still.
Out in the main part of the Coffee Loft, Elliot stomped back and forth, hauling the stools back to their rightful positions. Either he truly wasn’t a morning person, or something was rubbing him the wrong way. Probably me, especially if he realised I wasn’t the most ideal person to be with.
“Does the Coffee Loft have any baking soda?” It was something I could put on the end of my finger and scrub my teeth with. After the sugar-laden party last night, my teeth felt as if a blanket of moss had covered them, and it was gross. No doubt, my breath was pretty rank too.
“Under the sink. On the right.”
“Thanks.”
Finding it, I made a small paste and quickly scrubbed my teeth, swishing without too much gagging; the salty water was hard to handle. Rinsing down the spit in the kitchen sink, I joined him to help reset the dining room. Not that a rescue was going to happen in record time, but at least we'd be leaving the place in the same or better condition than when we arrived.
We moved the tables back into place and set all the chairs and stools. The whole time, Elliot didn't speak. He didn't even look in my direction.
After peeking out front, and seeing no change, nor a group of people armed with saws and tools to free us, I needed a bathroom break. I wasn’t about to ask Elliot to hold the door open, but I used the toe of my shoe as a wedge and hopped on one foot inside the space. When I washed my hands, I took stock of my unkempt condition.
My once perfectly styled hair, which had looked amazing yesterday, had been reduced to a stringy, matted mess, and my makeup was nearly non-existent, aside from the smudging of mascara turning me into a raccoon. My rosacea was no longer hidden under my foundation as that had worn off, and the tops of my cheeks and the bridge of my nose glowed with the reddened disaster—as if I’d been sunburnt despite not having seen the sun. Yikes, no wonder Elliot didn't want to look at me; it was a pretty scary look, and we were still weeks away from Halloween. What I wouldn't give for a hot shower, a large cup of coffee, and my green-tinted moisturizer and foundation.
Knowing I wasn’t the same looking gal as the one who blew in with the storm yesterday (heck I wasn’t even the same person—too much had happened), I meandered back to the main area with my chin tucked in. I scanned for Elliot, but it was like he disappeared. He wasn't in the main area, and he wasn't behind the counter. The door was still closed, and the trunk of the tree was still lodged into place.
“Elliot?” A surge of panic that he’d somehow left without me.
“Back here.” He was in the storage room.
“What are you doing?”
The brightening of the morning light put the storage room into a brand-new light. The shelves stacked without an inch to spare filled in every nook and cranny of the shelving unit. Beyond, I made out the grey-toned lockers, and a ripe curiosity called out, beckoning me to check what I had stepped on.
The staff lockers weren’t nearly as far away as it had felt last night, and peeking around the corner, I spied a knitted mitt on the floor. That had to have been the squishy thing I’d stepped on. Thank goodness it wasn’t a critter or something.
As I turned around, Elliot stood near the freezer door.
“I'm going to dig out some breakfast. A real in-and-out rush job so it doesn’t lose any more cool air. Anything you’d like?” He’d fixed his hair so it wasn’t squashed on the one side. It almost looked like it was washed as it had a dewy sheen to it.
“What would my options be?”
He scratched the scruff on his chin. “Bagels?”
My jaw dropped as I’d always thought those were brought in fresh daily.
“I may find a loaf of bread, not sure. The freezer is tucked into the back of the fridge.”
I wiped the surprised expression off my face.
“Yeah, don’t ask—it’s a weird system, and don’t tell anyone about the freezer. We buy the bread and bagels fresh and freeze them. Our freezer isn’t super big or anything, just enough to store some basics.”
It made sense, even if it did taint my perception of the term fresh bagels they proudly displayed on their sign in the mornings.
“Any chance of finding a steaming hot cup of coffee in there?” I asked with an elevated smile and a friendly tone.
There was still an abrupt and clipped tone in his voice. “No, but we have ground beans. I could run some hot tap water over—”
“Yuck, and don’t ever do that.” I mocked a gagging sound as I thrust up my hand.
He put the flashlight on and opened the door, closing it behind him. In less than a minute, he returned. “There wasn’t much to grab that would be useful. Here’s a bag of everything bagels and a jug of chocolate milk.”
“Hey, it’ll work.” Even though he was brushing me off, I was trying to be sweet and friendly.
We meandered back to the counter, opening the bag and setting out two bagels.
“Wow—they’re still frozen. I’m impressed.” He talked to himself and covered the bagels with a towel.
“Those the floor towels?” My eyes widened at the horrifying thought.
“No. Those are there.” He pointed to a stack sitting on the table nearest Nina’s office. “Chocolate milk?”
“Sure, thanks.”
Elliot filled two disposable cups, and I grabbed the pen and paper nearby, adding those to our running total. “How much milk is in each of these cups?”
“Twenty ounces.”
I added them to our list—guessing that they would be considered a large size—just to be practical. “So what now? We just wait?”
“What else should we do?”
“I don’t know. This is like the last leg of a journey; you just want to get to the end already.” I sipped the chocolate milk, impressed it was still cold. Not ice cold like it should be but satisfying all the same.
Elliot lumbered over to the table near the bank of windows and stared out.
“Anyone?”
“A few people, but no one seems concerned we’re in here. Maybe they don’t even know.” I wondered if Cassie had been concerned. Maybe Alice mentioned something to her about how neither Elliot nor myself showed to the meeting. Or did they just assume that with the power off, everyone went home? I sighed a deep, heavy, and worrisome sound.
The skies were losing their pinkness and starting to glow with all its morning glory. Birds fluttered and swooped around, and down the road near Connaught Drive (our Main Street) was a herd of elk walking about. Clouds hung in the skies, but not as many, and certainly not the dark ominous variety; these were the light and fluffy kind.
Pacing around, I wandered over to the pictures hanging on the walls; the ones I’d never noticed before but was seeing in a brand-new light.
“These are the pictures you took, right?”
They were incredible. The one nearest the mug wall was of coffee foam art—a perfectly petite heart atop a series of nesting hearts. The colours were magnificent, bold in their shades yet muted in their hues.
He advanced toward me but kept a surprising distance. “Yeah. Everyone who becomes a barista within these walls starts out by making this work of art. This happened to be mine. ”
“And you photographed it?”
He nodded, the left side of his whiskery face pushing up into his cheek in a smug smile. “She wanted photos, and not to outdo the others’ hard work, mine did look amazing.”
I ran my finger over the heart. “That’s really something. Is that what was on my coffee? The foam had disintegrated a smidge before I arrived.”
“No.” The colours of his cheeks tinted slightly. “Yours was a latte work.”
I laughed at the pun but stopped when he wasn’t returning the gesture. “What was it? What had you created?”
“A wreath with hearts and a swirl of chocolate.”
My heart immediately flew to my chest as an aww sound whooshed out of my lungs. “Now I’m incredibly sorry I was late.” My gaze roamed his face, settling on his eyes, but there was more there than I was comfortable with. There was meaning and affection, and I just couldn’t look anymore. Swallowing down a bit of a lump, I blinked over to the next photograph. “And this? It looks familiar.”
“It should.”
It was a hand-held sign that said Welcome to Jasper but the background was fuzzy so it was hard to place.
“That’s the sign Jasper the Bear is holding,” Elliot said as if I should’ve known. I did know that, but I was playing dumb in a weak effort to get the sweet and compassionate guy to show back up.
“Outside the gift shop?”
Something beyond the window grabbed his attention and his tone reeked with indifference to my question. “No, the one that used to be on Patricia Street before they tore it down.”
“Oh, right. I heard they’d relocated it.”
He shrugged and avoided eye contact. “Maybe, but it’s not there anymore.”
“You have a great eye.” Each picture had something unique about our town. It was taken in just the right way to not draw attention to it, but to make it blend effortlessly into the store’s interior design. “These are amazing, truly, you have a gift.”
“Thanks. I take a lot of nature shots; elk, moose, Pyramid Lake. I take a lot of pictures there because it’s so gorgeous.” Was that a splash of excitement in his words? “One of my all-time favourites is one you wouldn’t like.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I took it during a storm. I caught it at just the right moment. The forks spread out across the sky and it reflected beautifully in the lake. The brightness of the bolts contrasted against the deep navy. Plus, with the shimmers in the water, it was beyond amazing.” His voice trailed off. “The timing was once-in-a-lifetime, and it was breathtaking. I got lucky.”
In jerky motions, he inched closer, hesitating every breath. He got close enough to touch my hand, and as much as I wanted to feel it, I knew I couldn’t. I pulled away from the connection and moved over to another picture and heard the deep sigh Elliot made.
He shifted back and forth. “You know, maybe if we sit and watch a storm together, one that’s far enough away so as not to scare you too much, maybe that would help.”
“Anytime you can see the lightning or hear the thunder, it’s too close. It would find me. It’s attracted to me.”
It came from out under his breath. “I understand that.”
I wasn’t sure if it was related to my fear, or to something else, but I hoped it was the fear.
I couldn’t bear to look him in the eye and see the pain I knew I was causing him. Wandering around the store, I admired all the photos up close, taking in all the details.
The length of the night was pressing on my shoulders, as was waiting on Nina’s return. Letting out an exasperated breath in a solid whoosh, I walked over to a stool and sat on it, resting my head on the palm of my hand. Where was Nina? Where was the rescue crew?
“We’re almost there. Someone will be here soon.” His words were reassuring, although the uptick in my anxiety was not. Tenderly, he tucked a wayward stringy strand of hair behind my ear.
“It’s a mess out there.” I scrunched up my face and on a quick scan, counted over twenty pieces of litter within eyesight. “Such a mess. The Dream Clean Crew will be put to work.”
Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply.
Elliot cleared his throat. “About last night…”
My focus fell to my hands, twisting together until my knuckles turned white.
“We’re good. Honestly. We did what we needed to do to get through the night.” But I couldn’t face him as I spoke. Rather I dug the edge of my nail into a groove on the table.
Sitting beside me, his hand settled on my thigh, and I fought against the itching need to push it off.
I liked Elliot, he was a sweetheart through and through, but last night? That had been one of the most amazing nights in my life, even if I knew it wasn’t going to turn into more. It just couldn’t. I couldn’t trust what would happen. A couple of weeks at most, and then he’d be gone, one way or another. I’d push him away, or he’d walk away, or he’d promise me the world at the same time as he promised someone else that too.
Last night we muddied the waters between friendship and something more.
Despite another middle-of-the-night storm, I was comforted and warm enough to fall back asleep. Every time I moved, his hand was around my waist, holding me close. The whole thing had been as natural as breathing, and yet, in broad daylight, it felt like it had elevated our status to something more. But what?
We’d also been intimate in a way that hadn’t been physical. I’d shared pieces of myself, as had he, and now in the spotlight of a fresh new start, I felt raw and exposed. No one had seen me the way he had, and I didn’t know how to deal with that. I wanted to hide, to get away, to put my metaphorical armour back on. But how?
I liked Elliot, I really did, but I wasn’t sure I could be more to him, and deep down, I was already feeling bad that I had used him to help me get through the night.
“Is that all we did? We just used each other?” A cool patch developed on my leg when he removed his hand.
“Yeah.” I nodded, keeping my focus on the leaves gently blowing in the breeze. “Now we go back to our regular lives.”
“And what about us?”
“What about us?”
“What becomes of us? I … well, we … we kissed. It meant something to me. Didn’t it mean anything to you?”
I swallowed, turning away as I looked toward the main road through town. Ripping the Band-Aid quickly was supposed to be easier than slowly removing it, right? And I had dumped and ghosted many guys before, so why was it so hard to push this one away ?
My heart pounded and my fingers tingled as a nasty knot formed in my gut.
One. Two. Three. Rip.
“We did what we needed to get through the night; I helped you, you helped me, we leaned on each other and we made it through. I told you last night, I’m not good with relationships. I’m the type of girl who brushes a sweet guy like you off, and not because you’re not a Class A kind of guy or anything, but because I can’t trust how—”
“Oh. I get it. So, in essence, you used me.” The pain in his voice cracked my heart.
“What? I… no… that’s not…” My words launched out of my mouth and my eyes out of my head.
“Yeah, you did. You just said we did what we needed to get us through the night, but I thought it was more. It felt like it was more.”
In a way, I sort of did use Elliot, and I could totally see his point, but I really had my back against the wall at the time. If I didn’t have him, I would’ve self-combusted and I know that.
My big, fat mouth opened wide and let the words spew out without a filter. “Would we have been so vulnerable without the trapped situation? No. It was that event that forced us together, and the feelings that happened were a product of the circumstances. They weren’t real, even if they felt it.”
Was I saving his heart? Or protecting mine?
From the corner of my eye, a red truck rolled into view. “Oh, oh, look! The firefighters are here.” I started waving frantically and scanning the crew for a familiar face.
Chad was with them, and the first to hop out.
“We’re going to be rescued!” No doubt my voice was loud enough to be heard outside.
Chad turned to the driver who pulled down the radio and started talking into it all the while scanning our side of the street.
He walked over to the window, half dressed in firefighter gear, and shielding his eyes, peered inside, his gaze enlarging when he spotted me. “Sage?”
“Hey!” I waved harder, knocking over my chocolate milk. As I righted it, Elliot was already at the counter and returning with a couple of the towels we’d used for pillows, cleaning up my mess.
He moved the cup out of the way as a sneer rolled off his tongue. “A former boyfriend?”
“No.” I twisted my face into a disbelieving expression. “That’s my brother-in-law. That’s Chad.”
There was a lot of commotion outside as the firefighters gathered around. They were pointing at things I couldn’t see and conferring about what to do.
Nina came running into view breathlessly, stopping to put her hands on her knees.
A couple of the firefighters walked over to the door and tried to free the tree from its stuck position, and when it didn’t budge, they headed back to the truck .
“They must be getting saws or something.” I was practically jumping up and down. Soon, so soon, we’d be free!
Whereas Elliot had plastered on a fake smile—the kind that didn’t tug on the corners of his eyes—allowing the dark cloud hanging over him to grow and fester, and I knew why.
Me .
We’d not even had an official first date, and I’d already hurt him. I’d taken our start of a friendship and stomped it out. But in all fairness, I had warned him I sucked at relationships.
So while he kept his distance from me, I kept a focus on the firefighters.
They made three cuts, sending sawdust all over the front of the door and part of the window. The breeze didn’t help at all, but within a few minutes, it was unwedged from the railing and the door was free.
Aside from Chad, who was leaning against it. Through the tiny crack of fresh air I was inhaling, he spoke. “They’re just checking to make sure there’s no downed power lines or anything that could hurt you.”
“But you’re standing there.” I was pacing back and forth, just waiting for the moment when the door would fully open, and we’d be free.
Nina stood near the firetruck, arms waving all about as if she was talking to someone.
“Oh! The list,” I said and finding it, rolled it into a scroll. I was prepared to hand it to Nina when I blasted out of there.
Elliot sat on the stool, a deepening sadness rolling his shoulders inward like he had the weight of the world upon them.
From beyond the window and through the crack in the door, I heard Chad yell out, “All clear?”
Someone bellowed out an affirmative, and Chad pulled open the door. The whoosh of fresh air was mesmerizing and was a gentle slap to the face.
I took a step outside and popped my head back in. “Are you coming?”
He shook his head. “I’ll need to see Nina and discuss a few things.”
I waved the curled-up list, wondering why he still wasn’t getting off the stool. “I’m going to pay for everything. I promise. You won’t get in trouble.”
“It’s not that. Go. Your family is waiting.”
“It’s just Chad.” I didn’t consider the rest of the firemen family per se.
“What about that brunette over there biting her nails?”
I tossed my gaze in the direction he pointed and sure enough, there was Cassie, pacing back and forth and chewing her fingernails down to the quick. “My sister, yeah.”
“Go. You’ve gotten the all-clear.”
“Oh-kay.” I split the word into two distinct syllables.
“Just go already, it’s what you wanted, right? So go.” He hopped off his stool and stormed to the display cases, not once turning around.
But I wasn’t sure if that’s what I really wanted. There were so many emotions clouding my judgement that it made it impossible to decide.
I needed time.
“See you around?” But my question was blown away as Cassie ran over in my direction.
“Sage! Oh my gosh, you’re hurt.” Her focus zeroed in on the bump on my forehead.
“It’s okay, it’s nothing serious.”
“I was so scared. When the storm hit, I worried for you, and I couldn’t get in touch with you. I had no idea where you were.” She cupped my face. “Oh, that bump looks terrible. What happened? Maybe we should get you checked out.” Like the mother she desperately wanted to be, she searched for any more bruises or cuts. “You look tired, too. Are you hungry? I can whip up breakfast for you.”
“It’s been a long night, and I just want a shower. Why aren’t you at school?”
“I couldn’t go not knowing where you were after last night.” She pulled me tightly into a hug, and I rested my head on her shoulder. “Then Cougar called on the radio to let me know you were here, but I had to stay over there,” she pointed to the house on the corner, “until they said it was safe.” She gripped me with the strength of a man. “You’re okay?”
“Yeah. I just want to go home.” Tears were building, and I wasn’t sure why. We started toward Cassie’s car when I remembered the list in my hand. “ Oh, Nina!” I turned, calling out her name.
She tossed her gaze between her store and me. “Yes?”
“Here’s a list of everything Elliot and I ate. Please let me know the total, and I’ll bring the cash over ASAP. We cleaned everything up, aside from the killer box in the staff room.”
Eyes wide, she stared at the list and then narrowed her eyes when I mentioned the box I tripped over and how Elliot accidentally kicked into my ankle.
The solid lump of sadness grew two sizes in my throat. “Elliot’s waiting inside for you.”
She tucked the paper into her bra, nodded, and left.
Cassie wrapped her hand around my shoulders, guiding me toward her car parked at the end of the street. “Let’s get you home, and you can tell me all about it.”
I glanced over my shoulder, searching for Elliot beyond the bank of windows. If he was there, it was impossible to tell with the reflection.