Epilogue
Six Months Later
With the crisp mountain spring air breezing all around us, Elliot and I stood and stared at our vehicles parked at the entrance of the Columbia Glacier Day Festival. We were each there with our respective businesses; Elliot as half-owner of Coffee Loft and me as a very small co-owner of Pages and Dreams, but on an off-shoot version. His coffee truck – decked out in the Coffee Loft’s signature colours – was parked beside my heavy van full of used books and exciting adventures.
At the start of the new year, we both decided to help our respective businesses by including a food truck of sorts to hit up all the festivals and markets we could attend on the weekends through the spring, summer, and as far into the fall as we could safely go. In a surprise business deal, Harvey was totally on board, and I dipped into my savings to purchase the giant cargo van and outfit it in Pages and Dreams branding while running the mobile bookstore on my own, but under his banner. We’d been to three markets already in the past two weeks, and so far, it was a success. Books and coffee paired well together – what else could a person truly need?
I secured the van, which I had parked at a weird angle to have the walkthrough end near Elliot’s truck and pocketed my keys. Elliot did the same and reached for my hand.
“Ready?”
“Ready.” I squeezed his hand; one I enjoyed holding every single day we were together.
His boots scraped against the loose pebbles. “On the map, I spotted a small lake over this way. Does that work?”
“Any spot works, but if it has a view, all the better.”
He shrugged. “It’s no Pyramid Island, but it should work.”
Pyramid Island was one of our favourite locations to sit and reflect at, but being what today was, and how busy we’d be with the festival, there wasn’t going to be time to visit. At least not before the sun set.
Hand in hand, we walked through the parking lot which was starting to fill with all sorts of vehicles. It may be April, but it was also the Rocky Mountains, and even though most of the snow had melted, there was still an undeniable chill in the air and I pulled a toque on over my head.
“That’s the lake?” I asked upon approach. It was smaller than what I had expected. Lake was a gross inflation of the size of the crystal-clear bed of water.
“I guess. Looked bigger on the map.” A tight smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
We walked closer and found a wooden bench alongside the path, which was thankfully empty.
I sat, facing the toe of the Columbia Icefield. “It’s small, but pretty.”
“Like you.” Elliot never missed a chance to toss a compliment my way. He was sweet like that. Almost too sweet, like the maple twist macchiato he created.
I cleared my throat. “Shall we begin?”
“To the airing of grievances and things that drive us crazy.” He was a little theatrical in his delivery as a couple walked by and gave us the strangest expression as Elliot spoke. But whatever. I didn’t care, and neither did Elliot. This airing of grievances was for us, and us alone.
It happened on the same day of each month – our anniversary. As a way to stop me from bolting or finding a reason to leave the relationship behind, we agreed to have a ten-minute session each month to voice our concerns and keep the relationship open and honest. Cassie thought it was brilliant and thought it should be something to embrace while Chad thought we were complete nutters. But hey, at least he voiced his concern.
“You go first.” I waved for Elliot to start as I pulled on a pair of leather gloves.
He regripped my hand and inhaled sharply. It had always been difficult for him to say anything negative, and it’s not that I wanted to hear all the bad stuff I did, but it was important for us, for me especially, to understand what I was doing wrong and how to improve.
“Okay.” A long gust of air sailed out of his lips. “When you make toast or a sandwich and open the bread bag, it bothers me when you don’t tuck the end of the bag under the loaf and leave it just sitting out flopping in the air. It looks messy, and I’m always tucking it back under.”
I nodded thoughtfully, wondering why he was doing that, but now I got it. “I understand and will do better.”
“Oh whew. I was trying to find something to nitpick.”
“That’s pretty nit-picky.” My head bobbed in quick bouncy movements.
“Right?” He squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry. But I’d rather compliment—”
I covered his mouth. “That comes after.”
“Sorry.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “Okay, hit me with the bad. I’m ready.”
I swallowed and searched his beautifully handsome and rugged face. Like him, I too struggled to find a grievance I needed to air, at least this month. Last month had been about the way the toilet paper unrolled; always over, never under.
“Okay.” I breathed again. “I wish you used more body wash.”
For a brief moment, his eyes nearly bugged out. “I shower, and I wash too.”
“Let me explain. Breathe, Elliot.” I cupped his chin and held his gaze firmly with my eyes. “By using more body wash, the extra will rub off onto your sweater and when I borrow it, I can smell you all day long.”
A smile as big as the glacier we were parked at the foot of spread across his face. “That doesn’t sound like a grievance.”
“It is. It’s huge. Big. Getting a whiff of you is super important to me and when I can’t smell you, why… I’m just lost.” It was borderline painful to not be around him, but at least a whiff of him soothed my ruffled feathers.
“That’s sweet.”
“Like you.”
“And I will always find you, you know.”
“Always.” My gaze danced all around his face. “Elliot, this is the happiest I’ve ever been in a relationship. I appreciate all the little things you do for me, like these monthly grievance release parties.”
“That’s only so I can learn from you and reassure you that I’m not leaving. Or giving you a weak reason to leave. ”
“Well, thank you for making the cinnamon rolls without raisins, as that would’ve been a sure sign you want me out of your life.”
He shook his head. “I don’t ever want you out of my life.”
“And I don’t want you to leave. You’re too important to me, and I love you so much.” That was unexpected. My heart pounded harder than it ever had, but now that the words were out, there was no take-backsies.
The weight of what I had just said turned his eyes as large as saucers. But rather than speak, move, or dare to breathe, he sat there frozen and unblinking. I did the same, hoping that life had just hit the pause button to give me a moment to reflect on what was just vocalised. I didn’t think I was ready to say it, and yet it fell out so naturally, it had to have been there brewing under the surface, just waiting for the perfect moment to come out. But I didn’t think sitting on a bench, airing our grievances, was that moment.
“You’ve never said those words before,” he finally spoke.
“I know.” I swallowed, pulling my bottom lip over my teeth, and looked anywhere but at him.
There were groups of people walking around and a huge tour bus was pulling off the Icefield Parkway into the parking lot.
“You okay?”
I shook my head, trying to breathe and calm my racing heart. “To be honest, I’m freaking out a touch.”
He inched himself closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. The heat from his chest pushing into mine was welcome, and I leaned into him fully to absorb all that I could. “Let me reassure you then. There’s nothing to be freaked out about. I’m certainly not.”
“You’re not?”
“No, why would I be? I’ve known for a while that I love you too, but I was too scared to say anything.”
“Because I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to reciprocate the words when you weren’t ready. I wanted you to say it when it meant something to you, and until that point, I was okay to keep those particular words to myself.”
“Oh, Elliot.” My vision blurred as I took in his handsome face. “You are seriously the sweetest.” I pushed out of his embrace and stood on the bench, tossing my hands out to the side as I yelled. “I LOVE YOU ELLIOT FOX! I love you! I love you with my whole heart!”
A small group of people walked by, staring at my lunacy (although one clapped) but I didn’t care.
I continued shouting out into the void. “I love this man! He is wonderful and kind and patient and he is the most amazing human being to have ever walked the Earth.”
Elliot stepped up to face me on the bench. “I think that last part is a little over the top. ”
“You make me happy, so deliriously happy.”
“And I can say the same about you.”
I stared into his deep, mossy green eyes. “I love you, Elliot. I really do, and I’m so sorry it took so long to say it.”
He held my hands between his and searched deep into my soul. “Don’t be sorry, you have nothing to apologise for. I know how you feel. I’ve seen it in your actions and other words.”
My heart was ready to explode and I needed him to hold me together. “Thank you for being you.”
As if he could read my thoughts, he wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me close enough to feel his pounding heart through all the layers of clothes and jackets. “Thank you for being you. I love you, Sage. I can’t imagine loving anyone more.”
“Really?”
He leaned his forehead against mine as his thumb stroked my cheek. “I see I still have my work cut out for me in that department, but yes, it’s true—I couldn’t love another person more than I love you.”
I quickly kissed him and pulled back. “This has been the best anniversary.”
“Happy six months.” There was such a husky sound to his voice, it made me shiver. But not from the cold.
“Happy six months.” I gave him another kiss, this one filled with a little more power and a whole lot more passion. “Let’s go sell some books and coffee, and then go out for an amazing dinner at the Brewing Company.”
“Lowest sales buys drinks?” he asked with a raise of his brow as he jumped off the bench.
“This festival is going to be lit-erary.” Holding his hand, I stepped down onto the pavement, tossing my head back as I laughed. “Let’s go sell a whole latte coffee and make sure everyone’s weekend is all booked.”
“Stop stealing my lines!” He laughed as he said it, and I held on tightly to the man who held my heart.
Thanks for reading Sage & Elliot’s story – I can’t espresso how much that means to me .