Chapter 16 #3
His eyes have gone feral. If there was a moment when he would have followed his better angels, that moment has well and truly passed.
“OK,” he says, his voice melted honey. He takes his hand away, and my skin cools instantly in its absence. “Your lesson begins right now. Lie down.”
My heart slams against my chest. I lie back, resting my head on the pillow.
“Good.” Danny nods, his hooded eyes dark. “Now touch yourself.”
“You mean …” I awkwardly slip a hand up to my chest.
“No.” His eyes flick down to between my legs. “Lower.”
I frown. “But touching myself isn’t a good lesson. I’m already, like, really good at that.”
His lip quirks. “This lesson is for me. So I know exactly how to please you.”
My whole body tingles in anticipation. “OK.” Slowly, I slip my pants down.
“Good,” he says. “Touch yourself the way you like it.” His voice is steady and firm; he watches me intently.
“But,” I say, dropping my hands again, “I still don’t understand why this part is necessary. What I need to learn is how to live in the moment when another person is involved. I need you to touch me. Please.”
“You’re interrupting my lesson, Theranos,” he says, clicking his tongue. “How can I teach you to receive pleasure if you don’t show me what you like?”
I turn over on my side and prop my head up with one hand. “Maybe we should focus on what you like. I mean, it’s the least I can do after orgasm-burgling you the night we met.” I force out a nervous laugh.
“Don’t do that,” he says, shaking his head.
“Do what?”
“Leave me. Your jokes are keeping you from being vulnerable. Keeping you on the surface. Let them go.”
“I get embarrassed,” I say quietly, lying on my back again. “I don’t know why. It’s an ongoing problem.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. Never with me.”
“But I can’t help it,” I whisper. “It’s how my brain works.
I can’t stop worrying if my breath is OK or if my body looks weird.
And then I realize how ridiculous it all is, falling into a weird trance while chasing muscle contractions with a whole other person.
It’s hard to focus on the actual sensations. ”
Danny laughs, shaking his head. “Your beautiful brain.” He looks at me appraisingly. “Let’s try something else. Close your eyes.”
I do what I’m told, and soon I’m rewarded with the light graze of his fingertip drawing down my abdomen.
“Block out everything but my touch. Fear lives in our imagination,” he says, invoking my words from the train. His fingers reach their destination, opening me in smooth, slow circles. “I’m going to bring you back to what’s real.”
All I can do is nod. A kaleidoscope of gem tones greets me as I focus only on the sensation of his touch. The warming of it. The tingles he’s unleashing. He leans in and kisses my breasts, trails down to my hips, and finally kisses each of my kneecaps.
“Lauren, every inch of you is beautiful.”
His lips find my chest again, sucking on my nipple while pleasing me with his hand, and new colors explode in my mind’s eye: silvers and golds. Shimmers find me next, tingling and dancing through my body. A climax starts to swell. An emptiness demands filling.
I arch my body, desperate for him to enter me.
“Oh god.” It’s all so intense. He needs to stop touching me for a moment so I can regain my composure.
And he does, but only to slip his head between my thighs.
His tongue takes slow, leisurely loops, before migrating downward to my opening, gently probing, and finally slipping inside.
Pleasure threatens around every swirl of his tongue.
Go slow. Stay with him, here and now. Don’t rush it because you’re scared or embarrassed. He’s not scared.
Danny groans as if in agreement, his hands squeezing my thighs so the pressure is increased on his face and mouth.
The threat of orgasm is too real, and I slide back, releasing myself from the suction of his lips.
He climbs up until he’s lying next to me, the heat of our skin touching down the lines of our bodies.
I pull down his pants, and he slips out of them.
I take his massive erection in my hand, and begin to stroke firmly and rhythmically, as his lips reclaim their territory on my swollen mouth.
His fingertips find my wetness, and we kiss and pleasure each other, lost in the language of our kisses, until the ache blooming in my lower abdomen becomes too much, demanding to be filled.
I lie on my back, one leg up, a clear invitation for him to climb on top of me. To fill me with every ounce of him.
He leans over me, propping himself up on his arms, surrounding me, making me feel small and protected and sacred. His eyes search mine, hooded and dark with desire as he hovers over my opening, his hot tip just barely grazing me.
He groans as he nudges my opening with small presses, as if asking permission to enter.
Then he kneels back on his heels and grabs a foil square from the pocket of his clothes.
He rips it open and unfurls the condom down his shaft.
Once it’s in place, he dips his head below my legs again and a flurry of licks and nips hit my clit while my back arches and spasms, orgasm shading my vision as my eyes close.
“Danny,” I gasp, “Please—I need it now.”
He slides up in a graceful, fluid motion until he’s positioned himself at my entrance again, this time not stopping.
Firm unrelenting pressure nearly knocks the wind out of me as he works to sheath the entirety of his erection inside me.
The exquisite fullness and slight, welcome pain brings tears to my eyes, as does the relief when I relax into his arms. Those arms wrap around me tighter; his lips are on mine, sucking and biting my mouth, groaning into my skin.
“Lauren,” he says, his voice muted by my hair and my neck as his body picks up a steady cadence, carrying us both on a rhythmic wave.
His hand moves down and gives my clit some love, at first gentle pressure with his thumb, and then smooth circles, gliding along, another instrument in this beautiful symphony he’s conducting.
His breathing becomes a pattern, falling in step with his thrusts, each one building something inside of me as he rocks back and forth, not letting me hide, finding me with his kisses and his eyes.
“Danny,” I say, my voice carried on a current of its own.
“How else do you like it?” he says, and his voice is raw with want.
“I don’t know,” I say, an almost automatic response.
“Yes, you do.”
He’s right. I do. But the thought of saying it out loud … oh, fuck it.
“I want you to bang me doggy style, hard and fast, and use your fingers to rub soft circles on me right here.” I hesitate, then take his hand and place it exactly where I want him to concentrate, opening my legs and sliding his finger to just the right spot.
“Clockwise, like this. Kind of fast.” I frown.
“Sorry. I’m worried your hand might get tired. ”
Danny exhales heavily. “I will never get tired of this. And don’t ever apologize for what your pleasure requires.”
He maneuvers me into the position I requested, kneeling behind me. Then he grabs my waist hard with one hand, then the other. The familiar ache of emptiness yawns inside me, needing his fulfillment.
“Danny,” I whisper. “I need you.”
He slides into me, filling and stretching me in a delicious new way. His hand reaches around so that he’s touching me in between my legs, clockwise circles on my clit in the perfect cadence. “Tell me how you like it,” he urges. “Tell me everything you need.”
“I …” I can’t think. Pleasurable sensations fill me up with every press of his hips, every swirl of his fingers. “I don’t know. Maybe …” I swallow hard. “A little faster?”
He obliges, pumping fast and hard, then faster and faster. I am only sensation, nothing else. His body on mine has blotted out the world.
A fierce orgasm torches through me, spiraling me higher and higher before dangling me over the precipice, and dropping me, unravelling my very essence.
“Danny, yes,” I cry.
It’s all he needs to hear to let himself go, his last few pumps rocketing out of him as he chases me up to that ethereal plane, our bodies trembling in simultaneous pleasure, the crescendo of our symphony. It lasts and lasts, until finally we collapse on the ancient soft flannel sleeping bags.
We breathe as our heartbeats slow, and our bodies still. Danny removes the condom, placing it off to the side before wrapping his whole naked body around mine in a full body cuddle, the warm weight of his legs thrown over mine in welcome pressure. He smooths my hair down and kisses my temple.
I turn on my side to face him, and he does the same, our noses close enough to nuzzle.
His strong hand is on my hip, as if he thinks I’ll float away if he doesn’t keep a firm hold.
I snuggle closer to him, my forehead enjoying the warmth of his neck.
He wraps me closer, pressing one last kiss to my hair.