Chapter 24
Dilynne
Yes, I’m Freaking Out
As soon as the clock strikes noon, I rush past Steven in the garage and hightail it across the street to Blossom Beauty, Laney’s salon.
Glenn is standing at the front reception desk when I push through the front door, making him jump. “Dear lord, Dilynne. Is there a fire?”
“Just the one that has been ignited between my legs, Glenn,” I say as I dart past him and head toward Laney’s office.
“That doesn’t sound good, girl. You should get that checked out!” he calls after me, and then, “So glad I don’t have a vagina.”
Slamming Laney’s office door open, I find her sitting at her desk, shoving a sandwich from The Happy Belly Deli into her mouth.
Since she’s used to my dramatic antics, my appearance doesn’t even startle her.
“Your sandwich is in the bag,” she mumbles around a mouthful of food, but I’m too on edge to eat.
I shut the door behind me and then lean up against it.
“Elliot and I had sex.” She stops chewing just long enough to glance up at me, her mouth still full of her sandwich.
“Twice,” I continue as she slowly sets her food down on her desk and picks up her napkin, wiping her mouth while she finishes chewing.
Waiting for her to take a sip of her drink feels like an eternity, but once she does and looks back up at me, she says, “Was it good?”
My mouth falls open. “That is not what you’re supposed to say to me right now!”
“And what were you expecting me to say? That I’m shocked? Because that would be a bold-faced lie.”
I lift my hands into the air. “Laney! Did you not hear me? I had sex with Elliot Thorne twice, and that piercing…”
Her eyes light up. “Oh shit, I forgot about that. What kind is it?”
“An apadravya.” I shudder from the memory of what it felt like moving inside me. “Holy shit, Laney. I didn’t know there was a dark side to sex until I felt that barbell in my vagina.”
She snorts. “That’s shocking, coming from you.”
“No, what’s shocking is that I had sex with Elliot, and you’re not the least bit surprised.”
“What does the piercing look like? I’m not sure I’ve heard of that one.” I pluck my phone from my pocket and search for an image. Her eyes light up when she sees the drawing on the screen. “Oh, fun!”
“Why are you not freaking out about this?”
Leaning back in her chair, she holds one hand out to her side while the other rests on her stomach where her baby is growing. “Because I’m not surprised. I mean, I saw the way you behaved after he kissed you at the winery Tuesday night. Honestly, I knew this was going to happen eventually.”
I exhale heavily. “He fucking did things to my body that made my head spin, Laney. He made me squirt! I didn’t even know I could squirt, and he acted like it was some skill he’s been perfecting for years.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah. And his mouth…” I say, remembering all the words he said that made me even needier for him. “Elliot Thorne loves dirty talk.”
“That’s hot. Fletcher does too.”
“I just…”
“What?”
“Last night, when he came over, he said some other things…”
“Like…”
My eyes drift away from her as I think. “Well, he made me admit that no other guy has made me come that hard.” Laney chuckles. “And then alluded to the fact that he’s not done fucking me. And, he kissed me again and said he did it because he wanted to.”
“And what did you say to him?”
“I asked him if he was going to change his mind.”
“Dilynne…”
I throw my hands in the air. “What? Can you blame me? The last man I trusted completely blindsided me.”
“Elliot is not Vinnie.”
“No. He’s the guy I spent years loathing and now I’m having mind-blowing sex with him, and I’m freaking out because I want to keep doing it.”
“Well, the girls and I tried to tell you there’s a reason you two have always fought the way you did. Turns out it was insane sexual tension and chemistry,” she says with a shrug.
“But can that turn into something real, Laney?”
“Only if you want it to, Dilynne,” she says. “Is that something that you want?”
“I—I don’t know.”
“Not sure that’s true.”
“I mean, things are definitely different with him.”
“How so?”
Sighing, I push myself off of the door and take a seat in the other chair near her desk.
“I feel like he really sees me, Laney. Not that he’s acting interested because we’re faking our relationship, but he’s actually trying to understand who I am.
He stood up for me in front of his parents, which you know is a big deal for me.
And…he’s shown me a side of him in the past year that I know not everyone gets to see. ” I stare down at my hands in my lap.
Laney reaches over and tips my chin up. “You love and protect people so hard, Dilynne Marie Clark. It’s one of the reasons you’re my best friend and I love you so much. But you deserve someone who does that for you too.”
I sigh. “And when he touches me, I feel like I can relax, and that never happens for me, Laney. Usually, I still need to feel in control, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you why.”
“So you can’t get hurt,” she answers for me.
I nod. “And in some sick, twisted way, I love the way we banter. Talking with him is never boring. He wants to know about my life, my job, the things that are important to me. I—I don’t know if I ever felt that way with Vinnie because I was so blinded by everything else I thought was important back then. ”
“Elliot isn’t the asshole you’ve always thought he is, Dilynne. Even I’ve tried to tell you that.”
“Yeah, well, if memory serves me correctly, I used to tell you the same thing about Fletcher before you finally had an honest conversation with him.”
Her chin dips in agreement. “True, but you know that means you’ll need to tell Elliot eventually why you wrote him off all those years ago too if this turns into something more, right?”
I stare into the eyes of my best friend. “And how the hell am I supposed to know if that’s what I want?”
“You don’t have to make up your mind about that this second. But perhaps you just keep an open mind and see how you feel over the next couple of weeks?”
I shake my head. “I just don’t understand how my feelings toward him can shift so quickly.”
“Because anger can mask a lot of feelings, especially the ones we never want to face.” Her hand rests on her small bump again as she smiles. “But I’m telling you, Dilynne, facing the truth was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I wouldn’t have Fletcher and this baby now if I hadn’t.”
“You know I don’t want a baby, Laney,” I say.
“I know, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t have all of the other stuff, like a partner who respects you, encourages you, and appreciates you for the incredible woman that you are. I guess the question is, are you willing to risk your heart again to get it?”
My eyes start to well with tears. “I’m scared, Laney.”
“Good. Just don’t let your fear keep you from living your life.”