Chapter 26
Dilynne
Time to Talk about the Past
Luckily, I made it to the bathroom before the first tear slipped down my cheek.
But as I stare at my reflection in the mirror—the marks that Elliot left with his teeth and hands, and even his cum that is drying on my stomach as we speak—nothing could have prepared me for how hard that sexual experience was going to hit me.
“Dilynne?” Elliot knocks softly on the door. “Are you okay? I—I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No, I’m good,” I manage to croak out as I wet a washcloth in the sink and start cleaning up my stomach.
“Are you sure? Fuck, Dilynne, I don’t know what to do right now. You’re…you’re kind of freaking me out.”
“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.”
He knocks on the door again. “Open up, please?”
Bracing myself to see the look in his eyes, I reach for a towel, wrap it around my body, and then take in a deep breath of courage before opening the door, only to find him with a pair of basketball shorts slung low on his hips, and nothing else.
God, how did I not see how fucking attractive this man is up until now?
And why am I so hell-bent on keeping my distance when every fiber in my body is screaming that this feels so right?
Elliot owns my body and he’s well on his way to owning my heart. The problem is, I’m not sure I’m ready to give that part of me to him yet.
When his eyes lift and meet mine, I can see his chest deflate. But then his gaze dances all over my body. “Are you sure you’re okay? That I didn’t hurt you?”
“No, Elliot. You didn’t hurt me, not physically, anyway.” I brush past him and make my way over to my suitcase, wrestling with the zipper.
He comes up behind me to help. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
He grabs my hand, and I freeze. “Dilynne, you can’t just say something like that and fucking brush it off. What’s going on?”
“I just…” Swiping the tears that fell without permission from under my eyes, I look away from him before I say, “This is just a lot.”
“Why? What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“If that were true, I wouldn’t have asked.
” His lips land on my shoulder, pressing against my skin softly as he pulls me into his chest, and my body moves willingly.
But my heart is still protesting where this conversation is headed.
“Talk to me, Dil. It’s just us, right now.
No pretend, no pretense. Just you and me. ”
When I meet his eyes again, honesty pours out of me in a whisper. “I don’t know how to feel right now. I’m fucking a guy I used to hate, and now…”
His body grows tense. “Used to hate?”
“Yes, and someone who said they’d never date me, so it’s just…a lot.”
His brows draw together. “What? When did I say I’d never date you?”
I close my eyes and turn away from him. “When we were in high school.”
He’s silent as he wracks his memory. Meanwhile, I lift my suitcase and find a baggy T-shirt I brought to sleep in, sliding it over my body and tossing the towel to the floor. “Dilynne, I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
No turning back now, Dilynne.
I twist back to face him, crossing my arms over my body like the movement might actually protect me from this exchange. “You and Nikko Ventura had a full conversation about how me being in auto shop made me so unfeminine, and that no man would want to date a girl like me.”
His eyes are so full of confusion that I almost feel bad for bringing this up. But Laney was right. If I’m feeling anything for Elliot, I have to let this out. She managed to do the same thing with Fletcher, and it worked out for them.
Only, Elliot’s face doesn’t look remorseful. No, he looks fucking pissed.
“Is that…” He pushes a hand through his unruly hair. “Is that why you’ve always hated me?”
Shrugging, I say, “You might not think it’s a big deal…”
“Obviously it is—because it’s the reason our relationship has been this volatile for years.” He pushes a hand through his hair again as he begins to pace. “How old was I?”
“You were a senior,” I reply, watching him start to wear a path into the carpet. “It was one day during sixth period when you and Nikko were getting ready to go out on the football field and I got called up to the office, so I was walking by the blacktop when I overheard the two of you.”
His gaze meets mine. “God, Dilynne. I’m so sorry, but I don’t remember that.”
I arch a brow. “It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”
He closes the distance between us and I take in a sharp breath as his hands frame my face. “I’m so fucking sorry.” His lips land on mine, soft and subtle before he pulls back again. “Fuck. I can’t believe you thought that’s what I thought about you.”
“Well, that’s what you said so what else was I supposed to think?”
“I was seventeen with a stupid ass friend I was just trying to fit in with, and a crush on my best friend’s little sister that I didn’t know what to do with.”
His admission almost slips by me. “What? You—you had a crush on Laney too?”
He huffs out a laugh. “No, Dilynne. You. I—I had a thing for you back then and knew I couldn’t do anything about it, so I always acted like you were the last person I’d be interested in.”
My stomach flips, and not in the good way. “What?”
When he rests his forehead on mine, dizziness assaults me because those words are the last ones I ever imagined hearing from him. “The boys and I made that stupid pact, remember?”
“I swear, that fucking pact should never have been made…”
His laughter surrounds me as he pulls me into him more. “Agreed, but here’s the thing, Dilynne. I don’t know that you and I ever would have worked back then.”
I lift my head up to see his eyes. “So what is this?”
“This is how it was supposed to be. Us now—older, wiser, more willing to put in the work. I sure as hell know that back then, I wouldn’t have appreciated you the way I do now. After my grandparents died, I wasn’t a big fan of relationships, remember?”
“Holy shit,” I whisper as the past few minutes replay in my head.
“But I truly am sorry,” he continues. “I totally get why you acted the way you did toward me now.”
I take a step back from him, wrapping my arms around my body tighter because even though he’s apologizing, I don’t think he understands the magnitude of how he affected me.
“You made me question myself, Elliot. It wasn’t just the words that you said, it was how they impacted me.
I knew I was going to struggle with the career that I chose, but…
” I let out a heavy sigh. “It was the first time I think I ever learned that our words carry weight, and yours settled on my chest and fed into one of my worst fears.”
His eyes lock onto mine. “Which is?” I shake my head at him, keeping my lips closed. He grows frustrated. “What is your worst fear, Dilynne?”
“No. You don’t get that from me yet.”
His voice rises with irritation. “How am I supposed to fix this then?”
“I don’t know that you can!” I shout back at him, fully letting the truth out.
Shaking his head, he plants his hands on his hips. “So, you finally admit why you’ve hated me all these years, but you aren’t willing to let me fix it?”
My eyes start to leak again, so I give him my back. “God, I knew this was a mistake.”
In a flash, his chest collides with my back.
“No. You and me are not a mistake. Do you hear me?” His chin rests on my shoulder, but he lets me cry for a minute before he speaks again.
“You make me want to be a better man, Dilynne. And do you know why?” His question rests between us, but I don’t answer. “Because of your words.”
I turn to look at him over my shoulder. “What?”
“Your words, your heart…” He cups my cheek as he guides me to spin around to face him. “Every time you called me an asshole, I took it in. I was an asshole, the anger I carried around from my own stupidity. But you made me see that what happened wasn’t my fault.”
“I was just tired of looking at your grumpy ass.”
I can feel his chest bounce with laughter.
“And see? That. Your humor. Fuck, you make me laugh—even at a time when I felt like I’d never laugh again.
But your actions mattered more to me than your words.
I mean, you fucking sprayed me with a hose and took me to a junkyard to beat up a car when you didn’t fucking have to, Dilynne.
You…you helped me in a way I can never repay you for. ”
“I just…” A heavy breath leaves my chest.
“You proved above all else that our actions are much louder than our words. I can’t take back what I said, Dilynne.
I know you can trust me with your body, but your heart is still fighting to catch up, isn’t it?
” I nod. “Okay then. I’ll just keep showing up and proving it to you, sweetheart. That is, if you’ll let me?”
What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
I close my eyes as he encases me in his arms. “This is a lot, Elliot.”
“I get it. So for now, let’s get dressed, go get some food, and pick up your gauges. We don’t even have to spend the night here if you don’t want to. I’ll drive you back tonight so you can get straight to work on the Porsche if that’s what you want.”
Lifting my head, I peer up at him. “You would do that?”
“I would. I have a lot to make up for, it seems. And I can start knocking off that list tonight. If you want me to.”
We have over an hour left until we have to meet up with the guy that has my gauges, but then something dawns on me. “I thought you were going to fuck me four times before then.”
His brow lifts. “That was before.”
“Before what?”
“Before I realized that being there for you in this way is far more important, and obviously it’s the only way I can get you to see whatever is happening between us isn’t fake. So that’s what I’m going to do.”
***
“Shit, this is really happening, isn’t it?” Steven asks as he hovers over me while I’m sitting in the driver’s seat of the Porsche.
“It will go a lot faster if you stop blocking my light.”
He stands up and out of the way of the overhead light he’s holding up. “Sorry. I just can’t believe that the last year of work is almost done.”